Hiding Place

An exhausted sigh escaped my lips as I dragged my feet over to where Danielle was laying on the field in some patch of shade. For some reason the two of us decided to do stair training at Cox Stadium in the middle of July. I was certain that she was attempting to kill me. Never in the years we’ve trained together in the offseason have we done stair training this early.

“Ugh,” Danielle groaned as I approached her. “Tell me again why we decided to do this in the middle of the afternoon?”

I shook my head. “Keep telling yourself that this was our idea. You wanted to run the stairs already and dragged me along.” Normally, Danielle and I started stair training in the last week of July when we really ramped our training up for the season. It was usually a week and a half before training camp started for the team. This year; however, we started two weeks early and I was already feeling the pain. DOMS here I come tomorrow. “You’re making me an ice bath when we get home.”

My muscles burned as I bent down slowly to lay on my stomach beside her on the grass. It was a beautiful summer day. It wasn’t foggy or cloudy like the last couple of days had been so it was a nice change. The sun directly beating down on you while you did four sets of five reps of stairs was exhausting. Add on to that a lap around the field for a cool down and fifteen minutes of stretching, I was simply done.

“Whatever. You’ll thank me for it later in the season.” She rolled over onto her stomach and pulled the cap off of her water bottle. “So,” her lips curled into a smirk after she took a sip of her water. “Have you talked to Logan lately?”

I should have known the question was coming. I should have known it all summer that eventually Logan would be brought up by my best friend. This is what happens when you meet a guy and Danielle goes to Napa for a month and a half – her grandparents needed her and her brother up there for two weeks longer than normal – so this was my payback for that. Running stairs and talking about Logan.

“Have you talked to TJ?” I raised an eyebrow at her and took another sip of my water. It was a tactical stall and it was necessary so I could compile my answer about Logan.

Her answer was quicker than I expected. “Yeah, we’ve texted a couple of times, but not that much. TJ mentioned that his girlfriend, Noelle, might finally be moving out to California with him. So he’s pretty pumped about that. He hopes that me and her will be friends.”

I noticed a change in her demeanour. The focus was no longer deflecting from answering a question about Logan. My concern was now entirely her. “Did he mention that he had a girlfriend when you two first started talking?”

After the game we won tickets to, the two of them went out to a late dinner and Danielle got home after I did. She seemed quite happy about her time with TJ so I was happy for her that maybe she met someone.

Danielle shrugged. I could tell she had something to say about this and I would probably have to coax it out of her. “The second time we hung out, he told me which I was okay with, you know? At least he was honest and told me. I’m totally okay with being friends with him. He’s a blast to hang out with and talk to…”

There it was. “And?” I prompted.

She sighed. “As well as we get along and as much as he wants me to be friends with Noelle, I don’t think it’s going to happen. Apparently she feels threatened by our friendship because we got ‘too close, too fast’.” Danielle rolled her eyes. “I probably won’t be seeing TJ much or talking to him very often.”

“I’m sorry Dan,” my voice was quiet. I opened my mouth to continue but she cut me off and began talking again.

She shook her head. “It’s fine. It’s nothing to worry about or be upset about. I knew he had a girlfriend but I didn’t think she would react this way about TJ and me being friends, you know? Nothing happened between us and I mean nothing. He’s a nice guy but he’s not my type.”

I nodded. She needed to get this out and have someone listen. It was the least I could do with how much she’ll likely bug me about Logan when the topic of conversation came back to him.

Danielle shrugged. “If Noelle and I become friends, we become friends. But I’m not too concerned about it because really? What connection do I have to the Sharks? I’m not going to go out of my way to keep track of him. Really it’s just you cause of Logan.”

I groaned. Not now. I didn’t want to talk about Logan now. The two of us haven’t seen each other since the end of May – after his game six against the Los Angeles Kings. I promised him I would watch game seven and I did. It was heartbreaking to see. Never did I expect to care about the outcome of a hockey game, but I did.

It wasn’t much longer after that that Logan headed back home to Ontario and I was still in San Francisco. He let me know when he got home and said that he missed the weather in California. I told him summer time couldn’t be that bad in Ontario or why would he go back every year. For the first couple of weeks our texting was pretty frequent.

We watched baseball games together and texted the entire time. Logan and I made a conscious effort to avoid chirping each other’s teams. As much as I enjoyed hating on the Blue Jays, it was worth it to have peaceful baseball talk with someone other than my dad and my brother.

Baseball wasn’t all we talked about. Our training schedules and routines were a popular topic also. He told me what he was doing and I told him what I was doing. Logan has a strength and conditioning coach that he goes to while Danielle and I are mostly on our own for the off season – although occasionally we will consult our coach for the season – so sometimes I stole some of the routines he would tell me about and incorporate them for myself.

It was nice to have someone who understood what it meant to do offseason training and how important it was for the sport.

Logan told me about his family and I told him about mine. We graduated from just texting all the time to Skyping every couple of days too. I will never forget the first thing he said to me when our Skype call connected. I’ve never had someone tell me they miss me as much as he did.

To be honest – even though we were only around each other for a week, maybe a week and a half – I missed him too. The more I got to know him, the more I missed him. Which sounds crazy. I barely knew him when he left and in the month and a half we have been apart, we’ve gotten to know each other quite well.

There have been a few drunken Facetime sessions – two instigated by him and one by me – and a couple times where we had dinner together through our computers.

If you were to ask me what my relationship with Logan was, I don’t think I would be able to answer that question for you. I didn’t know exactly what it was, but I did know that I loved talking to him and looked forward to when he would be back in California.

We didn’t classify what this whole thing was. It has come up several times when we’ve been talking – when his mom or my dad walked in on us Skyping a couple of times – both of us have had to deal with our parents asking if the other was our girlfriend or boyfriend respectively. Neither of us knew how to answer the question. We would shrug and a laugh it off.

Any time the subject of what exactly the two of us were doing would come up, things would get awkward. We missed each other – it would be good to see the other in person – but there were no labels. I’m still attracted to him and he says he’s still attracted to me. But it’s only attraction. There were no rules established before we went our separate ways. It was kind of a whatever happens, happens situation. I guess it all depended on what happens when we’re both in the same state.

Danielle looked at me expectantly. I rolled my eyes. “You know how often I talk to Logan. Stop looking at me like that.”

She lightly shoved me. “Come on humour me after what I just told you. I know you two talk but have you talk talked?”

My face scrunched up in confusion. “What do you mean talk talked?”

“You’re impossible,” she sat up and kicked her running shoes off to air out her feet. “Like if he were to show up here tomorrow, how would you greet him? What would you do?”

A sigh escaped my lips. “You have such a knack for asking impossible questions, you know? He’s not going to show up here tomorrow so it doesn’t matter.” I knew I was avoiding the question because I didn’t have an answer to the question. I had no fucking idea how I would react to him showing up randomly.

“It does so matter Emma Mae. I know you have feelings for him and from what you’ve told me, he has feelings for you too. You two need to stop fucking around and decide whatever the fuck it is you’re doing. You’re killing me with this ‘will they won’t they shit’. It’s like you two are Ross and Rachel except you two haven’t slept together.”

I took a long sip of my water bottle and sat there silently. There was no comeback to that.

Danielle let out a sigh as she ran her hands over her face and through her hair. “All I’m saying Em is that you and Logan need to figure this out. I don’t want you to miss out on someone because you might have something going on with him.”

Still, I had no comeback. Thankfully, the familiar ding of my phone went off beside me. Saved by text message. “Speak of the devil,” I mumbled mostly to myself but I knew that Danielle could hear me as I swiped my thumb across the screen to unlock my phone.

I just did five 100m sprints with a parachute. Top that ;)

A smile crept its way onto my face. “That’s Logan, isn’t it?” Danielle shook her head.

“So what?” I rolled my eyes before typing a response. I just did four sets of five reps running up and down the stairs at Cox Stadium. My legs are jello but I topped you ;)

You’re insane.

Who runs with a parachute?

Skype tonight? Your Giants are playing the Padres.

My lips curled from a smile to a smirk. Are you sure you can stay awake that late? The game started at just after seven here which meant that tonight may be another one of those nights that Logan falls asleep while we’re Skyping and watching baseball.

Haha. It’s Friday I think I can handle it :)

“Come on, let’s head home. We both stink and I’m starving,” Danielle pulled me out of my thoughts only for a moment as I got up off the grass and followed her blindly to her car.

It crossed my mind to ask Danielle what she thought about his offer, but I decided against it. Aren’t you going out? It is Friday… I didn’t want him to feel obligated to Skype with me. Like Danielle had mentioned, nothing was set in stone between the two of us.

His reply was almost instantaneous and I could picture the look on his face. I wouldn’t have asked if I was going out. I’d rather watch a game and Skype with you.

The drive home didn’t take too long. We lived a ten-minute drive from campus on a good day with no traffic. Thankfully, today was a no traffic day. It helped that it was kind of early still in the afternoon and that rush hour hadn’t really started yet. Our apartment was in a relatively suburban area that was filled with college students during the year. It was almost like living on campus with how many students were around. Most of them even stayed during the summer months.

If you’re sure… You’re not obligated to watch the Giants you know.

“Are you still texting him?” Danielle asked when we got inside our apartment. It was cleaner than usual, probably because we had Danielle’s little brother stay with us for a week while her parents went on their anniversary vacation. “I’m going to have a shower. Do you want to make something to eat? Oh Tess texted me, and the girls are going out to Ruby Skye tonight so you’re in right? You better not bail.”

I flopped down on the couch and looked at my phone before swiping my thumb across it once more. I know I’m not. But you love the Giants so I want to.

Okay, Danielle is going to be pissed. She wants me to go out with her and the girls tonight.

If you want to go out that’s cool.

I shook my head, even though he couldn’t see me. I’d rather Skype with you and watch the Giants destroy the Padres.

Sounds good to me. I’ve got dinner now with a couple buddies. I’ll text you when I’m home.

Alright, I’ll talk to you later.

Miss you!

I smiled at my phone once more before tucking it into my pocket. It was just after four in the afternoon, which meant that it was too early for dinner but too late for lunch. So, I went with the go to snack that I made for Danielle and I after a workout. Cheese, crackers and pickles with a couple of glasses of chocolate milk.

After I finished slicing, I left Danielle’s plate on the island in our kitchen and flopped back onto the couch with my plate and turned on the MLB network. A content sigh passed my lips as I stacked a piece of cheese and crackers before popping it into my mouth.

Danielle came out of the bathroom, still in her towel, grabbed her plate and sat down on the loveseat across from me. “Okay bathroom’s free. You can go shower now.” I gave her a look. “Seriously, you are not bailing on us this time Em. What else are you going to do tonight?”

I avoided eye contact and stared at the television. Along the bottom of the screen, it was scrolling all the current scores, scores of completed games and upcoming games. I noticed that Danielle was looking at the screen also. “Oh no,” she said just as the Giants and Padres game came up. “No. You are not staying here and watching baseball by yourself.”

“But –” I started to say before I was cut off.

“No,” Danielle stood up. “Most of the girls are back in town now and we’re going out as a team, which means you have to come too. No excuses this time. We’re going to dinner and then out to Ruby Skye. You’re going to wear that cute dress you got two weeks ago and you’re going to have fun. So that means not checking your phone every two minutes to see how the Giants are doing, okay?”

I swallowed nervously. “I can’t.” I blurted out.

She rolled her eyes. “You’re unbelievable. Why can’t you come out with us?”

I licked my lips. “I’m watching the game with Logan.” My voice trailed off as I got to saying his name.

“How? He’s in Ontario. You’re here, in San Francisco.”

This was one thing that Danielle didn’t know that Logan and I did. She didn’t know that we watched baseball and Skyped. She didn’t know that it was one of my favourite things to do this summer. She didn’t know how adorable it was when he fell asleep when we were watching a late game.

I took a deep breath. I had to sound confident in my response. I had to so I wouldn’t crumble at the look she was giving me. “We Skype. He asked me to watch the game tonight and I said yes. It was before you asked me to go out so I didn’t have plans when he asked.”

Danielle pinched the bridge of her nose. “So let me get this straight. You two Skype and watch baseball together on the television.” I nodded and tried to hide the smile that was trying to force its way onto my face. “I don’t know if that’s adorable or pathetic.”

I opened my mouth to protest. But she continued. “Fine, I’ll just tell the girls you have a date.” I groaned. That was worse. “It’s either that or I tell them you’re being lame and watching baseball. Take your pick.”

“Fine, tell them I’ve got a date.” I muttered as I stood up. “What are the odds that they will believe you anyways? When do I ever have a date? So what makes this summer any different?” I headed out of the living room and made my way to the bathroom. “I’m going to shower now.” Just what I needed – the majority of my teammates now would think that I either had a date or was lying about a date. Plus I would have to give them details of the ‘date’ when I saw them next. That’s going to be great.