Where the Wind Takes Us

When I get to Georgia’s, it’s no surprise that she runs over to me and asks what’s wrong, or James has an arm around me, or Colton and Mick look up from the couch, concerned with my less than ladylike appearance. After all, I’m wearing Josh’s clothes that are a little big for me and my face is splotched with red because of the crying I’d done on my way here.

I push past Georgia and stand in front of Mick, looking at him with such disdain that I have to physically stop myself from punching him in the other eye.

“Are you crazy?” Are the first words that come out of my mouth. “Like, are you legitimately fucking crazy? You burn down Josh’s house and then you have the audacity to hate on him? What the fuck? That doesn’t even make fucking sense?”

A stunned silence fills the room. No one says anything, and perhaps that’s a good thing. I’m trying to focus on my thoughts, clearing them in my mind so I can say what I want to say. Say things that’s been boiling in my mind since Josh told me what had happened that I should keep to myself, but I can’t. It’s all coming out now and a part of me doesn’t want to stop.

“I just,” I pause. “I don’t even understand you. If you’re going to hate on someone, hate on them for a purpose, not because you’re a dickhead with weird ass backwards thinking.” I silently wish for the tears to stop streaming down my face, but it doesn’t. Cool. “You’re so fucking confusing, Mick. And you have serious issues. And if you want us to be friends again, you’re gonna have to sort that shit out.”

I can’t believe what I’ve said – have I really just stopped Mick and I’s friendship? Where did that come from? Judging by the way Mick’s face falls at my words, I know it’s too late for me to take it back now. Not wanting to hover around the group any longer, I push past the gang and go upstairs, heading into the first room I see. I slam the bathroom door shut and grip the edge of the sink, my hands shaking and my eyes splotched with red. I’m so angry that I can’t contain it, but I have to focus on this anger, otherwise I won’t be able to stop thinking about the look on Josh’s face when I left his house earlier.

Anger is always easier to deal with than pain.


“So you went off at Mick last night,” Georgia starts, taking a sip of her black coffee. She doesn’t drink black coffee often. I wonder what inspired the change. Noticing me staring at her drink, she adds, “I’m in a Parisian croissant beret-wearing mood. Don’t judge me.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Do you even own a beret?”

“Unnecessary details,” Georgia waves her hands around impatiently. “Stop trying to distract me too. I wanna know what the deal was last night.”

I take a long sip of my hot chocolate before answering. I’m not sure whether to tell Georgia the whole story because it’s Josh’s story and it seems private, but at the same time Georgia is my best friend and I tell her everything. Maybe I just won’t go into details. Yeah. I’ll do that. “Basically Mick accidentally burned Josh’s house down and instead of owning up to what he did Mick turned his guilt into hating Josh because every time he sees Josh, he’s reminded of what he did. Also you know how Mick feels about Josh’s sexuality.” I pause. “Yeah. I think that’s it. It didn’t make sense to me why Mick was so stupid, but I couldn’t sleep last night and that what I came up with?”

Georgia’s mouth opens in horror. “What?”

“Oh,” I add. “And Josh told me he liked me.”

Georgia blinks twice. “Well, finally. I was wondering when he was gonna let it spill. Now, let’s get back to this fire thing. What?”

“What?”

“What?”

“G, what?”

“Nat, if you’ve seriously been blind of Josh’s obvious feelings for you, then there’s only so much I can do to make you realise it for yourself. Now, let’s focus on the bigger issues. Like this fire bull.”

“What?”

Georgia glares at me. “Stop ‘whatting’ me, woman. Forget about the feelings stuff for a second. Fire. Spill. Now.”

Obediently, I tell her what Josh relayed to me the night before. I tell her about running to Josh’s and him giving me his clothes and us sitting on the rooftop and when it comes to the point where he told me he liked me, I remember how I was teary over Mick and how bad I must’ve looked with Josh’s clothes on and my hair half-dry and probably resembling a bird’s nest or something. There’s a memory from last night that I blocked out but it comes back to me now when I see Josh’s sunken shoulders and eyebrows creased together in confusion, downcast eyes with his long eyelashes looking down at the tiles we’re sitting on and his arms sitting plainly in his lap. Seeing Josh sad sinks my heart down to my stomach in an unusual pain I don’t think I’ve ever felt before. It’s a weird feeling. I can see why my brain decided to block it out.

“Wow,” Georgia mutters as I finish telling her the story. “That’s seriously fucked, man.”

I sigh. “I know. I don’t think I can forgive Mick. I mean, not right now. I know he didn’t do anything directly to me but like, here he was making fun of Josh and the whole time it was actually about him doing something to Josh that was way more harsh. And like, I’m sure Mick didn’t mean to light Josh’s house on fire but still! That doesn’t excuse his other behaviour, you know? I don’t think I can be around someone who treats others like that – who treats Josh like that. Josh doesn’t deserve it.”

“You sound like a girl who’s head over heels for our boy.”

“Yeah, I know how I feel about Mick,” I say, confused. “Well. I think after last night my feelings for him have definitely lessened. How can I love someone who’s so mean?”

Georgia clicks her tongue. “I meant Josh, you idiot. You so like him.”

I frown. “No, I don’t.”

“Yeah you do.”

“Nope.”

“I think you do, Nat.”

“Then why didn’t I say anything back when he told me he liked me?”

“Because,” Georgia starts. “You’re afraid?”

I snort. “Of what?”

“Of liking Josh since not even a month ago you were in love with Mick?”

“What?”

“Don’t start this ‘what’ business with me, Fader. Think about it, seriously. When was the last time you felt something for Mick?”

I think about it. Seriously, this time. I think about the last time when I felt something intense for Mick and honestly, I can’t even remember.

“I know my feelings towards Mick have changed,” I say slowly. “When he started being rude to Josh I remember being super turned off by that. Not at first. More when I actually got to know Josh. It’s like, since Josh appeared, I’ve found a side to Mick that I’ve never known or never bothered to look into because I loved him so much, you know?”

Georgia places a hand over mine. “I know Mick is super psycho and let’s face it, homophobic as fuck, but honestly I didn’t think he was capable of something like this either. It’s amazing how much people can surprise you.”

“Yeah,” I say quietly, my heart sinking down into my stomach. “Agreed.”