Where the Wind Takes Us

Monday at school is quiet. Awkward. I talk to James, Colton and Georgia, but with Mick I can’t talk to him. I can’t even stand to look at him. It’s too hard knowing what I know and being able to have a casual conversation like nothing happened. But something did happen. Mick burned down Josh’s house and that’s not something you can take back so easily, or even at all. As well as make fun of Josh for liking guys. Mick’s behaviour doesn’t make sense. I’m confused, but I’m not ready to talk to him.

So I ignore him. As well as Josh, because I’m not ready to touch that situation either.

I’m lying on my bed listening to a Wheatus song when I hear arguing from my parents’ room. I sigh, wondering whether it’s worth listening to whatever they’re arguing about, but then through the guitar riffs and laidback tune, I hear my name being said a couple of times. Yep, worth listening to.

“Nat’s graduating in a month; do we even know where she’s planning on going to uni?” Dad says.

There’s a pause before Mum speaks. “I overheard her telling Georgia she was thinking of applying to some art schools, but I’m not too sure.” I’m waiting to hear the displeasure in her voice, but surprisingly, I don’t hear it. Or perhaps I need to wait a little bit longer to hear something negative. “She’ll be eighteen soon. Once she’s eighteen, I have no intention of making decisions for her. Natalie will be an adult.”

“But I don’t want her to leave us.” I can hear the strain in Dad’s voice. It makes my heart hurt, knowing that he doesn’t want me to leave but having full intentions to move out. “I don’t want to let my little girl go.”

A tear falls out of my eye but I brush it away before I let other tears escape. Damn it Dad, I think bitterly to myself. Don’t make me want to stay in this household anymore.

Mum replies something back to him but I can’t hear any more of what they have to say. I have got to get out of this house.

Not caring much about my dishevelled and otherwise bogan appearance, I slip past the parents and leave the house quietly, the jingle of my keys dangling in my fingers.



I want to talk to Georgia but I have no idea where she would be on a Tuesday afternoon. The logical thing to do would be to call her but my phone has less than 20% battery and besides calling and messaging her, I decide to not use my battery more than necessary. Half-heartedly, I wonder if she’d be at the park with James, because I know the two like to skateboard there sometimes. A snap decision allows me to make my way to the park, however once I get there, Georgia nor James are in sight. I sigh.

Sitting on a nearby bench, I watch a group of boys kick a soccer ball around in the open fields not too far from my vision. They look my age - or possibly older, I’m unsure, though while checking each boy out, one looks startingly familiar.

Of course I would see Josh here.

In rolled up trackies and a backwards cap placed on his forehead, it’s easy to tell he has some skills playing with balls (hehe). His movements are smooth and not at all awkward. I want to call out to him and yell “Hey! Nice ball skills!”, but a part of me feels like I’m not ready to approach him yet. I don’t know what I’d say if were to talk, especially how we left things the past Friday night. My heart is content to watch him play soccer with his friends for a while, but my brain thinks I should leave Josh.

My brain wins.

I end up on the move again; unconsciously letting my feet walk me to any destination they see fit. I’m surprised when I end up at the Laundromat, but in many ways it makes sense. Sitting on the washing machines and contemplating life is one of my favourite past times. There’s something incredibly comforting about silence.

I jimmy the lock and let myself in to the abandoned Laundromat, stroll over to my favourite washing machine, and rest my back onto the wall, wondering how I even got into this predicament into the first place.