Where the Wind Takes Us

The walk to the Laundromat is quiet. I can tell I’ve just woken Josh up, so he’s mostly bewildered but he seems content to be with me, so I don’t say anything in the fear that I’ll say something stupid and scare him off. I’d like to not scare him off, since it’s like, 12.30 in the morning and I don’t want to be left alone in the dark.

“Where are you taking me?” Josh finally asks. We’ve walked fifteen minutes in silence and he chooses to speak now?

“The Laundromat is just around the corner,” I tell him. We walk around the corner and thankfully, the door to the Laundromat is open. I open the door and flick the switch, walking straight in to settle on my favourite washing machine. There’s nothing particularly special about it, I just like sitting there because it’s comfortable.

“Why are we here?” Josh asks. He leans against the washing machine opposite of me.

Throughout the walk, I tried to figure out how exactly I was going to tell him I liked him. And how to explain the whole Mick thing without stumbling over my words in the process and messing us up even more. All of my thoughts end up leading back to the Laundromat, because it’s my special place and even though I’ve only ever shared it with Mick, I want to share it with Josh too. He’s important to me enough that I want him here with me.

“A few months ago, I got Mick to tell me he loved me,” I start, looking straight at Josh. I don’t want to be looking at anywhere else but him. I want to be strong. “Love in the platonic sense, I mean. I took it to heart and let myself think it meant more than I thought it did, but I know it didn’t. Actually, he asked me if I would ever have sex in here and I said no because that would be super uncomfortable….okay sorry. Getting distracted. I think what I’m trying to say is that Mick doesn’t have any feelings for me. He’s my best friend and nothing more. And yes, I was in love with him at one point but I’m starting to think now what I felt for him was more so infatuation than love.”

Josh takes a step towards me. “What makes you think that?”

I jump off the washing machine so I’m standing directly in front of Josh with little space between us. “Because when I’m with you, the feelings I have are so much stronger than whatever I felt with Mick.” I take his hand, and I’m surprised when I realise he’s threaded his fingers in mine. “Being with you is so much better than being with Mick, or anyone else for that matter. You make me feel special. Like there’s nobody else besides you and me. You make me feel like I’m important, or that what I have to say matters and it’s nice. It’s really nice, actually.” I add. “Also, you’re an excellent kisser and I very much enjoy your kissing skills.”

Josh chuckles, picking up on the reference from the letter he wrote me. He stops, however, to ask me something else. “What about the kiss I saw you give Mick?” When I look perplexed, he continues on. “At Movie World. You kissed him.”

“On the cheek,” I clarify. “He was apologising for being a dickhead about us. You and me, I mean. For like, being stupidly protective and annoying and whatnot. The kiss was just a thank you.”

Josh hangs his head in shame. “So instead of talking to you about it, I go off with the intentions to kiss another girl. I pulled away, by the way, I don’t know if you saw that or not.”

“Oh.” I’m surprised. I hadn’t seen that, but I had run off too quickly. “I uh, ran off when I saw her kiss you. I wasn’t exactly prepared to watch anymore.”

“Fair enough,” Josh replies. “As soon as I saw you, I realised how immature I was being. I should have never looked for another girl to kiss with the intentions of hurting you. I should have talked to you, and I’m sorry.”

“I shouldn’t have given you a reason to do that,” I tell him. “But thank you, I accept your apology.”

Josh lifts his head and looks at me, and I mean properly look at me. I can just make out my reflection in his hazel coloured eyes, which are shining. “Do you think we could start again?” He asks quietly, hope rising in his voice.

“If you promise to talk about stuff with me when you’re mad or upset,” I say. “Then yeah. I’d like that.”

He smiles, and it’s one of those smiles that light up his whole face and I can’t help but smile back. He leans forward and I know what he’s going to do. In response, I throw my arms around him eagerly and press my lips to his.

The kiss is long and sweet, and erupts a mountain of butterflies in my stomach that I’ve felt only once before – when Josh and I first kissed. He wraps his arms around my waist and hold me against my favourite washing machine, pausing our kiss briefly to say, “So what were you saying about sex in the Laundromat?”

“Shut up, you dork,” I giggle teasingly before kissing him again.