I'll Drink to That

Before they even got together Amanda knew what it meant to date a rock star. She knew all that she was going to have to give up, everything she was going to sacrifice, but she thought it would all be worth it if it meant her and Oli could be together. She knew it would be hard, even nearing impossible from time to time, but still none of this ever bothered her.

She understood that she was going to have to have faith in him, be patient and understand that it would never be possible for him to be the stereotypical boyfriend. She knew that they could never go to the cinema or out for dinner without someone asking him to sign something or go shopping without being asked for a picture. She grew to accept all that though, it became a routine, something she did without even having to give any of it so much as a second thought.

When she and Oliver started to date it was if fate had lined the two of them up for each other. They were the perfect fit. Never fought, argued, bickered or fell out. That was all mostly thanks to Amanda though...

She had never been one to get jealous, nor was she the possessive kind of girlfriend. It was only to be expected that girls would want him, and try to get him too. She honestly thought that if things were meant to go well between them, then they would, so a thought was rarely spared about him being unfaithful.

It flattered her to think that so many girls were jealous of her, how many wanted to be her, that some would even kill to step into her shoes. Simple old Amanda, who would have ever thought she'd end up with someone like Oliver Sykes. She certainly never thought it'd happen anyway...

For Oli though, the temptation of knowing so many females wanted him proved all too much. It really was only a matter of time before it made him break down, somehow they had both known it, they just forced themselves not to face up to the fact that it could happen, or that it would happen.

Like all couples, both of them fucked up from time to time, they did things they shouldn't do, pissed each other off occasionally, but she never did anything like what he had done.

Of course being on tour practically all the time it wasn't exactly surprising that they both drank an exception amount of alcohol for two people that were such a young age, they both got well passed the verge of being drunk now and again, but she never slept with anyone else.

''Mandy, honeh', please just let meh' explain mehself'.'' Oli pleaded from the opposite side of the room from his girlfriend. She was sitting huddled up on the couch with a pillow glaring over at him where he was stood like a shy little child in the doorway of the bus' back lounge.

''I don't want to talk. Just leave, Oliver.'' She grumbled with a look of pure hatred in her eyes, something which he had never received from here, something very few people had ever received from her.

''Look, I'm not going anywhere until we talk!'' He said firmly, crossing his arms across his chest, covering some of the pattern on the Drop Dead shirt he was wearing.

''Oliver, I won't tell you again, leave. Now.'' She snapped trying to hide her sobs, she just needed to be alone, time to think things through was the only hope for the two of them. How did he think she could process everything if he was constantly around bugging her.

''Amanda, I love yah so fucking much, you've gotta know that!.'' He said with a frown of regret creasing his forehead which was partially hid by the mop of dark brown hair side swept across his head.

There he goes again, saying he loved her. If you love someone you don't go and cheat on them with the first fucking whoring fangirl you manage to find, right?

It was right at that moment that she snapped, when she lost it, her composure and calm just fell away from her and she didn't bother even trying to find them again, she just let what needed to be said, be said.

''Oliver we both fucking know it's over! Can you tell from the look in our eyes? We're going nowhere. We live our lives like we're ready to die, We're going fucking nowhere!'' She yelled, surprising both herself as well as him at the anger she was suppressing. She looked away as the tears sprung free from her eyes and left black mascara patched on the tissues she was holding.

''Just please leave me alone, I need time.'' She mumbled almost in a whisper, wiping her cheek free of tears and turning her head so as not to let him see her cry. In all the years they had been together, only a handful of times had he ever seen her cry. She was one of those people who didn't let themselves be pitied upon.

''Please, I love you so fucking much! I'm- I'm so sorry...'' He began from his place in the doorway, tears springing from his own eyes as the guilt set in and found it's place right in the bottom of his heart.

''We can't be over, don't say we are, I love you honeh'.''

''Don't call me 'honeh' any more, just leave Oli, I need time to think, I'll be backstage at the show later, alright?'' She asked wiping her eyes in the cushion she was clutching.

''But- -''

'Get the fuck out!' She screamed throwing the cushion at him and running towards him, forcing him out the door, slamming it after him. She sunk down again the back of the door and buried her head in her knees. How could he have done this to her? There was only so long that she could hold back though. Oli at times, had an extremely bad habit of lingering somewhere when he really shouldn't. Now was one of those times.

Defeated, he walked away. There was nothing more he cold do but wait. Wait for his sentence, to see if she'd forgive him or if he'd lost the love of his life, all over a one night fucking stand. He'd fucked up, big time. He'd ruined his relationship, most likely his life now, but most of all, he'd ruined his Amanda.

Back inside the room and now hunched over crying into her cushion again, Amanda knew what she had to do. Cheating was the one thing she couldn't forgive, wouldn't forgive. Breaking up with Oli would be heard, but staying away from him would be even harder. As they always say though, life isn't supposed to be easy.

She'd go to the show tonight, she had promised her best friend, Beth, who was also Oli's sister that they'd hang out together backstage, and it'd be easier to break it off with him there, that way other people would be around, so he couldn't cause a scene.

She hoped anyway...