The Pros and Cons of Breathing

Flustered by my horrible performance and the walk across campus to the football field, I was out of breath by the time I took my seat on the bleachers. When I looked out across the field, all I could see were helmeted boys running around in various drill stations. I had no idea which one was Landon, although unfortunately, I knew exactly which one was Adam.

He was running a drill on the edge of the field closest to the bleachers with one of the assistant coaches. I watched the intensity of his performance, imagining the same gritted teeth and narrowed eyes that would stare down at me when I said or did something he didn't like. I shuddered and swiveled my gaze to someone – anyone – other than him.

After analyzing the other players' movements and shapes, I finally spotted Landon doing hand-off drills in the middle of the field. He was fast. Even though football was never a sport I liked, I was instantly lost in the fluidity of his movements and I gladly spent the next half hour with my eyes glued to his figure.

"Minty Madison!" Landon greeted me loudly as he exited the locker room, freshly showered. I loved that he called me that still. It reminded me of the night we met.

I turned to greet him, grinning into the quick kiss he pressed to the corner of my lips. "You were on fire today," I commented.

"Why thank you, mi'lady. How was your audition?"

I grimaced, "terrible. I'd love to just forget it ever happened, if that's alright with you."

He chuckled, leading me to his car and opening the door for me. As I waited to climb inside, I caught sight of a group of his teammates nearby, almost all of them were staring at us. A knot formed in my stomach, but I shrugged it off.

"I'm sure you're just being hard on yourself," he replied when we were both inside the car. I stuck my tongue out at him, but didn't reply. "You hungry? I'm starving!"

With a morose shake of my head, I sighed, "I have way too much math homework."

Landon pouted, causing me to release a snort of laughter. "Compromise? We can get drive-thru and take it back to your house and do homework?"

I hesitated. What would my mom say? I chewed my lip, surely she would be okay with me studying with Landon. The problem was explaining to her what we were exactly. It wasn't like either of us had used the term boyfriend or girlfriend when referring to each other. Were we not official yet? Did he have to ask me out before I could call him my boyfriend? I almost let out a groan in frustration.

"Sure," I finally replied, "Just beware of my mother. She thinks she's cool." I added with a smirk. Landon chuckled and started the car.

Honoring my request for Panda Express, we pulled up to my house with a bag smelling of my delicious bowl of mushroom chicken and steamed rice and whatever chow mein concoction Landon had ordered. My mom's car was gone. I frowned, partially grateful I wouldn't have to worry about awkward introductions and partially disappointed my mom wouldn't be here to meet Landon. Where could she be?

Landon grabbed the bag off my lap, oblivious to my thoughts and walked around the car to hold my door open for me. With his free hand, he snatched my binder and math book from my arms. My heart warmed at his chivalry while I playfully made a fuss about doing things for myself like girls do. In truth, I secretly loved it.

"Okay, so I don't know where my mom is. But I also don't know when she'll be home, so we should probably keep to the kitchen. I don't want to get into trouble for having a boy in my room without her around." I wagged my eyebrows at him as I unlocked the door.

Landon set the bag down on the counter and I opened the fridge for drinks, "Sprite, Coke, orange juice, apple juice, this weird V8 stuff my mom has, milk, or water?" I called out to him. Hiding behind the door helped my calm my nerves at being alone with him in my house.

"Water." He replied. I made a face at him as I pulled out the gallon of orange juice and the filtered pitcher of water. "What?" He asked, holding back a laugh.

I fished for some glasses in the cabinets. "You're not a real teenager," I teased him. "What kind of teenager asks for water? That's so healthy." I made healthy sound like a swear word.

He let out a burst of laughter, coming around the counter to meet me in the middle of the kitchen. Standing enticingly close, he reached around me and tapped the jug of orange juice, "What kind of teenager drinks orange juice? That's so healthy. Look at all that vitamin C. No sugar or caffeine. Tsk tsk." Landon shook his head in disappointment.

I scoffed, heart racing. "Whatever! Orange juice is way more teenager than water. At least orange juice has a flavor."

Landon laughed and reached around me to pour the glasses. I sat up on the edge of the sink, my back to the window facing the backyard. He handed me my glass and I tipped it back, taking a slight sip of the tangy liquid. My jaws tingled at the shock, but I swallowed and watched Landon. He took a miniscule sip of his water before abandoning it on the counter next to our food and book bags. Moving toward me, he wrapped his hand around my glass, pulling it out of my grasp. I watched the way the longer strands of his Mohawk tickled his eyebrows as his hair hung un-styled and damp from the showers.

He brought the cup to his lips and drank. My heart sizzled while I watched his Adam's Apple as he swallowed. He drained half my glass before setting it down next to his. Licking his lips, he moved closer to me. The fire in my heart pumped heat through my veins as he pressed his body in between my legs, placing a hand on either side of my thighs to encase me in my spot.

As if I wanted to move.

When he tilted his head down to kiss me, I knew from the look in his eyes that this kiss would be different from any of the ones we've shared before. Before, they were sweet and slow. We took our time to adjust to our feelings and savored the kisses for what they were. This time, he looked hungry.

My hands instinctively pressed to his chest, reveling in the solid strength beneath the fabric of his shirt and the quick beat of his heart below my right palm. Landon pulled his arms around my waist, pressing me close as our lips met. He tasted sweet and tangy from the orange juice and another spark ignited within me as his kiss deepened. I closed my eyes, drawing my arms up and around his neck, as if I had the strength to bring us any closer than we already were.

After eon-long seconds, I felt his tongue trail agonizingly slow across my bottom lip. I lost my breath, and as a gasp escaped me, he took advantage, exploring my mouth and allowing me to explore him. The rhythm picked up and I could hardly control the way I pushed my body to meet with his. I had never experienced this kind of heat and passion. It was as if my entire body was on fire and I was positive he could feel it too.

I slid a hand up and into his hair, it was just as soft and silky as I had imagined and with my eyes closed, every sense felt heightened. I was aware of every place on my body that touched his, and his scent filled my lungs. There was a tingling sweetness under the spice of his deodorant. I could practically taste it and every inhale left me more and more intoxicated. A rustling of fabric and my skin sparked where I felt his fingers brush under the hem of my shirt. Oh please! But in an instant, the touch was gone and I opened my eyes to find that Landon had pulled himself away. His fists clenched as he leaned against the counter opposite me.

"I- I, uh. Sorry." I stuttered, completely mortified. What did I do wrong? I could've sworn we were on the same page with this. Feeling like an idiot, I dropped my hands into my lap.

Turning to look at me, Landon read my face with that intense gaze and immediately rushed back to me. "Madison. Don't be sorry, there's nothing to be sorry about."

"Then why did you stop? Did you not like it? Are you not attracted to me?"

A dark look crossed over Landon's eyes as he swept a gaze over me, "Oh trust me," he muttered, "I am definitely attracted to you." At my look of disbelief, he pulled me off the counter and pressed against me hard enough to sandwich me between him and the rim of the sink. I blushed as I felt something very hard and very solid against my belly. "I just think, given everything, that we need to slow this down a bit. I don't want to rush you."

As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. We had only one date and then today at school together. Too fast. I was moving way too fast. It was a complete 180 compared to my speed with Adam. Landon stepped back and then looked out the window over my shoulder.

"Is that the tree house?" He asked. I turned, following his gaze. When I nodded in confirmation, he grinned. "Can we go inside?"