The Pros and Cons of Breathing

Landon seemed far-off again for one more moment, before turning back to what he was about to do. Suddenly, he was rifling through the cabinets and fridge, pulling out Girl Scout cookies and two tubs of ice cream from the freezer, along with milk, a can of whipped cream, and a bottle of tequila from the cooler. He set everything on the counter, causing me to scoot off to make room.

"What is all this for?" I couldn't help my curiosity. Landon dragged the blender over to him and smirked at me over the top of it. That look was enough to make me a freaking puddle on the floor. It was unnerving.

I propped my elbows on the counter and put my chin in my hands while I watched him get to work. The cookies were thin mints, and the tubs of ice cream were chocolate and mint chocolate chip. Was he trying to make me a milkshake?

We were quiet as he worked, measuring out reasonable amounts of alcohol in proportion to ice cream. He tossed in a couple of cookies, poured the milk, and capped the blender before pressing a button. I watched the entire mix turn into a creamy chocolate dream.

Landon poured the mixture into a cup, made a cute little cloud of whip cream and topped it all off with crumbled thin mints. I was grinning like a little kid as he found a straw and a spoon and slid the drink over to me. "A Minty Madison for the lady."

My cheeks were about as red as strawberries at his words. He named the drink after me. I grinned and took an exaggerated sip of the milkshake. It was so fantastic that I couldn't help the moan of pleasure. My taste buds were in heaven.

Landon threw his head back and laughed. I could hear it this time and it made me giggle in return. "So you like it?" He asked as he looked across the counter at me. I liked the way his eyes were dancing. He made me think of how Peter Pan would look plotting an adventure.

"It's delicious." I said before I allowed myself a spoonful of whipped cream and thin mint crumbs.

"It's not too strong? Too weak?"

I shook my head, "It's just right. Where did you come up with this?"

Landon grabbed another spoon and, after a questioning glance for approval from me, scooped a bit of the whipped cream off for himself. "I have a friend in Bartending School and she's a huge fan of dessert drinks. I love her spiked milkshakes."

I was tempted to ask Landon just how old he was, but a small part of me didn't want to know the truth. Just for tonight, I wasn't going to worry about all the things that could get me into trouble and I was just going to roll with things.

Cheering erupted from the beer pong table and, closer to us, there was a group of people lighting up a pipe to smoke some pot. I grimaced at the sight. Landon's eyes followed my gaze and he grabbed my drink and his cup and nudged me up. "Come on."

I followed him out of the kitchen and around the corner, up a flight of stairs, down a hall and into an empty bedroom. Nervousness crept back into my veins as I balked in the doorway. But Landon completely bypassed the bed, in favor of a sliding door that led out onto a small balcony. Relief swamped over me and I followed him out into the cool summer evening.

There was an old porch set to sit at, but not much else. I took a seat and Landon set our drinks onto the table. Instead of sitting down on the seat across from me, he rearranged everything so that the table was in the corner of the balcony, and the chairs were scooted closer together.

"That's better," Landon handed me my milkshake and smoothed his hair at the sides, as if somehow the whole ordeal messed it up. He took a drink from his cup and set it on the ground by his chair.

"What are you drinking?" I asked to start the conversation back up.

"Mountain Dew."

"And?" I prompted him.

He brought his gaze away from the impressive backyard unfolded in front of us. "And what?"

"Exactly. Mountain Dew and what?"

He chuckled, "Nothing. Just Mountain Dew."

I sipped my milkshake and eyed him thoughtfully, "Do you mean to tell me that it's only," I looked at my phone for reference; "Nine twenty-two and you're done drinking?" I tried to mimic his disbelieving tone from earlier.

"Never started. I'm the Designated Driver." He gave me a 'So There' look.

"For who?" I was curious to see the kind of people he was friends with.

Landon was definitely the most alternative looking character I've ever spoken to, much less hung out with. I mean, his outfit consisted of a studded and patch-ridden leather jacket that resembled something from a The Misfits concert, complete with a band t-shirt emblazoned with the members of The Clash. His jeans were skinny and black, and the holes big enough to show skin had mismatched material sewn under or safety pins closing the gaps. I peeked down at his black-out Converse high tops and smiled at the sharpie doodles on the back of one.

He shrugged, "Whoever needs one."

The answer surprised and frustrated me. Was I ever going to get an insight into who this guy was? It didn't really occur to me that I already was. "So you're just here to make sure no one drives drunk tonight? Seems pretty noble." I pressed on, sucking down some more of my Minty Madison.

"Yup, someone's gotta do it. I'd hate to see my friends do something reckless. Plus we all take turns doing this, and tonight just so happens to be mine." He added with a grin and I snorted, lightly slapping his arm.

Damn, that's solid. I bit my lip and put my hand back into my lap. "And here you had me thinking you were some sweet, selfless guy, but really you just pulled the short straw tonight. Is that why you're up here with me? Because being down there is tempting you to drink too much?" I teased.

"No, I'm here because you don't like pot and everyone's downstairs, getting high."

Simple enough. But for some reason, my cheeks flamed, and I found myself staring at him. I cleared my throat. "You can go back downstairs, if you want. Don't let me keep you from having a good time."
Landon chuckled and looked at me. I met his gaze to show him I was serious. I didn't need a babysitter; if he didn't want to be here, then he could leave.

"Okay, cool." He replied, but he didn't get up. Instead he scooted his chair closer to mine. "So do you go to school here?"

I took a second to let the butterflies settle in my stomach. I gave him the opportunity to leave, but he stayed. He stayed. I was glowing. But I tried to keep my cool as I replied, "No, I actually live in E-town."

Landon grinned. "Really now? That's interesting."

"How so?" I asked after he didn't explain it himself.

"Well, I learned something new, and pretty much anything you say right now will be interesting to me, since I actually want to know more about you." He said this like it was just common sense. He wanted to get to know me.

I stirred my milkshake and tried to keep my expression neutral, but inside I was confetti all over the balcony. Landon was a stud. And so far, this incredibly gorgeous, if not a little intimidating, guy had taken it upon himself to keep me company, make me a dessert drink, and escort me away from marijuana fumes for my own comfort. So not how I thought tonight was going to go, but I couldn't be any happier at that point.

"So, tell me about yourself, Landon." I decided to ask outright, since my attempts at slyly getting information had been futile up to this point.

"What do you want to know?" He shot back.

Crap. How do you ask do you have a girlfriend without sounding creepy or desperate?

I shrugged, "I'm not sure. What do you think I should know about you at this point?"

"At this point?"

"Yeah, you know, 'cause we don't actually know each other. We're not friends or anything. So what would you want me to know about you, considering we just met?"

He mulled it over and I continued on the milkshake. I was starting to feel a buzz, so I decided to take it slow. Looking over at him, I saw that he seemed to be giving it a bit of thought and I started to regret giving him the chance to choose what I got to learn about him. I felt like by the time I left, I wouldn't know a thing about Landon except that he makes really good dessert drinks.

"Well," He began, and then drew his thumb to his mouth, pressing his lips to it in deep thought, "I guess I'd want you to know that I'm a good friend."

I snorted. "That sounds a little biased, Landon."

"I'm serious. Think of how I've treated you so far tonight." He argued.

I thought about it. He had been attentive, especially for a stranger. He even noticed my squirming when that group started smoking. "Is that how you always act? Really? Or are you just trying to get me to like you?" I accused.

"Is it working?" Landon grinned.

Quickly, I ducked my head as my cheeks burned up to an unbearable degree. Landon laughed again. "Madison, I'm kidding. Although you do seem to be falling for me."

My head shot up and I gaped at him, stuttering. "I – ah, but – I do not!" I stopped and cleared my throat while he continued to laugh at my expense. "I literally just got out of a relationship today, how can I even think about anything but how I've been wronged?" But as I said it, I realized that this was the first time since I got there that I thought about Adam. I frowned.

Landon sobers up. "You were dumped today?" He asked, not sparing my feelings. I nodded in reply. "Wow, I would never have guessed."

"What?" I looked up at him.

He shrugged, "You just seem… fine. Did you even have feelings for the guy? Or girl?" I choked on my shake when he corrected himself.

"Girl?" I stared at him, bug-eyed.

"I don't like to make assumptions." He said with another shrug.

"Well, it was guy; I'm not into girls. And I did have feelings for him. But I guess not enough, or that's what he said when he ended it." I replied, staring out at the now dark backyard. The glow from the downstairs windows lit up about a twenty-foot radius, but after that it was all shadows of trees and bushes.

Landon shifted in his seat. "Okay," was the only response I got.

"Okay?" I turned back to him. He wasn't looking at me; instead his eyes gazed out at the backyard. His face was serious, but I couldn't tell what he was thinking. And then he met my eyes, and he looked… annoyed. Oh. He didn't want to hear me complaining about my ex-boyfriend! I was such an airhead!

"You don't have to tell me what happened. I get it." He replied, and I nodded, feeling embarrassed for making myself seem like one of those girls who did nothing but whine and complain to guys about other guys.

"Sorry." I mumbled into my milkshake.

Beside me, Landon let out a loud sigh. He sounded frustrated, but I was too nervous to meet his stare. "You shouldn't have to apologize, Madison. He should be apologizing! What is it with people these days? Why do they think that just because someone likes you, they have to have sex with you? It's disgusting. You don't have to feel pressured, you don't owe him that! You don't owe him anything!"

My head popped up and I stared at him after his revealing outburst. My hands, wrapped around my cup, were encompassed by his, and he was staring directly into my eyes with such ferocity that I couldn't look away. "Don't apologize for anything, Madison. Unless you genuinely do something wrong, don't apologize for being you."

After a second he cleared his throat and turned back in his chair to face forward again. I let out the breath that I was holding and tried to ignore that tingling in my fingers where Landon's hands were just a second ago.

Let's just review for a second. Things I knew about Landon:

-He made great dessert drinks.

-He was a good friend.

-He could read people like books.

-He didn't make assumptions.

And probably the most important,

-He accepted people for who they were, no apologies.