The Pros and Cons of Breathing

I kept to myself for the rest of the weekend, spending some much-needed quality time with my mom, marathoning Pretty Little Liars and eating tons of junk food. Whenever she would leave for her study group, I would attempt to make as much of an effort with my own academic progress. It was time wasted, as I could hardly concentrate with the lingering feeling of Landon's fingers on the bare skin of my arms.

Kate and Scottie had things to do and couldn't hang out at all Saturday or Sunday, so I opted to tell them what happened when the opportunity presented itself on Monday. I rode in jittery silence the entire way to school as they chatted away next to me. I even felt like I got away with it until Kate parked the car and I reached for the door.

Scottie leaned over and locked it. "Talk. Now." She ordered.

I sighed, "I went out with Landon on Friday."

As I predicted, she and Kate stared at me with a look of utter disbelief until they finally caught up with the meaning of my words.

"What?!"

"No way!"

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Did you kiss him?"

"How was it?"

I squirmed under their rapid-fire questions and waited for them to run out of ammo before answering, "I called him. But I really only planned on apologizing for my behavior and leaving it at that, until he asked me if I was hungry."

Kate snorted, "Smooth."

Continuing, I ignored her, "He took me to Yarnel's. We decided not to call it a date or anything until it was over, so it was actually really fun and like, no pressure. I had such an awesome time. Then he took me home, walked me to my door, and he asked me what the verdict was." I blushed.

"And?" Scottie urged, Kate practically squealing beside her.

"And we kissed. So yeah. It was a date, and a really great one." I finished, biting my lip. I leaned my head back against the seat, trying to return from my daydreaming.

Scottie bounced up and down in her seat, repeating "Oh-my-god" in such a high pitch I was positive the dogs in the area could hear.

Kate was just as ecstatic, but was able to compose herself long enough for the nail-biter of all questions, "So… now what?"

I shrugged opening my door now that I knew this conversation was over, "I don't know. We'll see."



I was early to Art class. Mrs. Drew raised her eyebrows in surprise as I entered the class, and took my pick from one of the many available seats. My heart was beating rapidly as I set about trying to gather my things for my project, but all I could think about was when Landon would show up and what he would do.

The screeching of metal legs made me jump. Looking up, I couldn't help but grin as Landon sat down next to me. It wasn't those beat up Converse, or even the classic Punk outfit making its reappearance that made my heart leap into my throat. It was the way he was grinning back at me. That smile said it all, and the nervousness left me in the instant that he grabbed my hand under the table.

"How was your weekend?" He leaned in close to ask in a low, husky voice.

I bit my lip, trying to concentrate on forming coherent sentences. His smell and nearness was completely intoxicating. "After the night I had on Friday? Paled in comparison." I replied.

He chuckled and squeezed my hand, before letting go to fetch his own supplies from his backpack. My cheeks were hurting from smiling until I heard it.

"Quite a pair." A voice murmured behind me, "The freak and the prude."

I looked back and saw the two boys who warned Landon away from me on our first day of class. "Excuse me?" I asked, a little out of breath.

The first boy nodded to Landon, "You passed up Adam for this guy? You really must be messed up in the head." I looked to Landon, completely thrown. He sat straight, focusing on his work, seemingly completely unaffected. But I could see it in the frown on his face.

For the briefest moment, he glanced at me and met my eyes. And in that moment, my heart broke in two.

"Seriously," The second leaned in and stage-whispered, just like his friend did to Landon last week, "Don't bother. He's a freaking psycho drug addict. Do you really think you should be dating a guy who went to juvy?"

Landon stood slowly and walked to the front of the room, speaking low with Mrs. Drew. I watched with my mouth hanging open as he turned from her and walked out of the room, never once looking at me.

Furious, I looked back at the two boys who were now laughing hysterically. "What the fuck is your problem?" I hissed.

They stopped laughing. "Like seriously, you guys have some serious issues if you really have nothing better to do with your free time than talk a bunch of shit that isn't true." I stood up, shoving my things in my bag and completely bypassing Mrs. Drew to leave the classroom. I may or may not have accidentally elbowed one of the boys in the face as I walked out.

In the hall, I took a deep breath and looked around for a sign of where Landon may have gone. I didn't have to look far. He was seated on a bench diagonally across from me. I marched over and stood in front of him with my hands on my hips. "What the hell?"

Landon blinked up at me, startled. He opened his mouth, but I cut off whatever he was going to say, "Why did you just let them get away with saying those things about you? How can you stand up for me and expect me to stand up for myself when you're taking shit from dweebs like them?"

He shrugged, "I'm not taking shit from them."

"Really? Then why did you just walk out? Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because people are going to make their assumptions regardless, and that is their problem, not mine. It isn't my job or mission to go around trying to prove to complete strangers that I'm a good guy and that I've never been to juvy or gotten kicked out of my other school for drugs or fighting or whatever else they're saying. It's not worth my time." He set his jaw and looked away from me.

I kneeled down in front, placing my hands on his arms as he kept is elbows on his knees. "I don't understand though. What's the difference between what they were saying about me the other day and what they were saying about you right now?"

Landon met my gaze with another don't-be-stupid look and sighed. "Madison… I don't think you get it. It hurts me more to see you hurt by those words than it does to be physically punched in the gut. That's why I had to leave the classroom. I already made a resolution not to waste my breath defending myself, but defending you… it's worth my dying words."

My heart stopped. I had never met someone even remotely similar to Landon. And now I was convinced that I never would. He was a beautiful, hypnotic mystery, with the purest heart, and all I wanted to do was learn more about him. I wanted to be a part of his world, to walk through his house, to listen to his CD collection, to get to know all his likes and dislikes, his most embarrassing stories, and his favorite family vacation. I wanted to get to know him and learn what made him tick, because I was certain that there would never be another guy like him in a million years and, already, I was desperate for him to stick around.

I leaned in slowly and stole a small kiss, turning the passionate set of his frown into a dazed expression. It made me want to kiss all his frowns away. "So…" I said slyly, standing up and taking his hand with me, "When's our second date?"

Landon threw back his head and laughed, those hurtful words already forgotten, and I grinned. He held the door open for me as we reentered the classroom. Mrs. Drew never batted a lash, despite the synchronized turn of heads from her students as we resumed our seats quietly. I immediately threw myself into my project, having finally come up with a good enough subject to work on.

The rest of the classroom faded away, except for him, of course. All it took was an accidental brush of our arms or knees as we worked to send a wave of warmth through me. I knew he felt it too, because when I glanced up, he was grinning widely as he sketched.