This Is Not What It Is.

Getting home to my nice little ranch house was amazing. I was greeted by my best friend, who lives in the city but is my house/cat watcher whilst I'm on tour. I get home and walk into the living room where Isabella, my best friend, is.

"Hey Phoe. How are you?" Isabella says.
"Hey Is. I'm going good," I say, "and yourself?"
"Good, your house is fine so is the cat," Is states.
"Tux is okay?" I say happily.
"Yeah, Tux was napping," She says.

I put down my bags and sit on the couch. She pauses the movie.

"So, Austin fucking Carlile is your boyfriend?" She asks.
"Yeah, just a lot. He's going to visit after being home in Cali for a while," I say.
"Good, I have to meet him. Its my right as best friend," She says.
"Alright, you will. We'll stop by a club you DJ at," I say.
"Promise?"
"Cross my heart."

She just shakes her head and looks at me. I smile and close my eyes.

"I'm going to bed for a while," I mumble.
"Have fun," she says.

She kisses the top of my head and grabs her coat and purse.

"Later faggot," She says as she walks to the door.
"Bye Faggot," I say back and she walks out the door.

I collect myself and make my way into my room. I crawl into my bed. My cat meows and rubs up against me.

"Hi Tuxxy. Mama is home. Yeah," I say as I pet my cat.

I pet him for a while before falling asleep.

*_*

Waking up the next morning. My cat on my back as I sleep. I carefully got up. Tux jumping off my back. I got up and fed him first then I made myself breakfast. My phone goes off and I look to see a text from Alan.

Morning Birdy. I miss you :c I will definitely have to stop by sometime

I smile as I type my reply,

Morning Kitty. I miss you too. Totally drop in on me

I finish eating and I wonder off in my little studio jam room. I haven't had a while a to sit down and write some new songs. I grab my phone to send out a tweet.

@PhoeEllaDeath: Im already writing new music for the next album. I've only been home one day from tour

I sit down and toss my phone to the floor gently as I grab a notebook and pencil. I wrote "break through song" at the top of the paper.

"Oh....it can be. like a black and white movie. We can fall in love so slowly," I sing out quietly.

I shake my head as I put down my notebook. I grabbed my phone to compose a message to Austin.

I hate not being here with you. It's sucks. Also trying to music and all I want to write is some lovey pop crap about you

I press send. I sit there and stare at my phone. This is why I wasn't up about dating. Guys are assholes and you spend most of your time obsessing over them. I trusted Austin, a lot. My phone went off and I look to read one message....from him.

I'm lovey pop crap to you?

I groan. I knew I would be able to explain to him better over the phone. I called his number. Rings twice before an answer.

"This is Lovey Pop Crap how can I help you?" He answers.
"Okay, prick, first off that's totally not what I meant by that!" I say.
"Oh, so, now, I'm a prick?"
"God, Austin. Okay, I think I love you and I never been in many relationships, especially this one this long. I've been missing you and it's hard to write songs when you miss someone so much."
The line was silent before he spoke, "You think you love me?"
"Well, yeah."
"I think I love you too."
I smile a bit, "When are you coming to visit?"
"Next week maybe, depends."
"Depends on what?" I sprawl out on the floor.
"Band stuff."
"Right."
"Getting your address too. All I know is that you live in Pennsylvania."
"Oh, shit, yeah. I'll email it to you."
"So, what have you written?"
"Excuse me?"
"The tweet. What have you written."
"Oh, yeah. Hold up," I put my notebook in my lap as I sing quietly, "It can be a like a black and white movie. We can fall in love slowly."
"That's cute."
"Cute?"
"Yeah, like, it would a cute love song..."
"I hate you..."
"No, you don't."
"Dammit."
"I have to go. I have to do laundry and check in on my dad."
"Alright...have fun house wife."
"Shut up."
"Okay...bye."
"Bye."

I hung up as I grabbed my pencil. I scrawled down some notes. As a rocker girl I hate the affect Austin has on me, but as a girl I loved it. I groan as I get up, grabbing my phone. My cat rubbing up against my legs.

"Come on, it's time for a Kourtney and Kholé marathon," I say as I walk into the kitchen. I realized I have a big house and I'm one person. But I love having a room for all my shit. My guest rooms are nice.

*_*

Austin is suppose to come over today for a week. I’ve never have a boyfriend stay with me for a week in the same house. I cleaned everything and made it seem so lovely. I look out the window just in time to see the taxi pull up in front of my house and Austin gets out after a few minutes. He gets his roller bag from the trunk. I ran to sit down on the couch. He knocked on the door. I got up and walked to the door. I opened it.

“Hi,” I breathe.
“Hi,” He says.
I step to the side, “Please, come in.”
“Alright,” He says as he walks in.
“Ummm, I can take your bag to the guest room,” I say as i close the door.
“Okay,” He says as i watch his eyes look around.
“Look around, I suppose,” I take his bags from him.

He pulled me close to him and he pressed his lips to mine. I press my lips to his. My head was spinning. This was an amazing kiss. Our lips moved slowly against each others. My arms goes around his neck. HIs arms went around my waist. We kept the kiss innocent. I pulled away when oxygen became necessary. He just smiled at me. I smile back.

“That was...amazing,” I say.
“You are amazing,” He says.
“I miss kissing you,” I mumble.
“I missed you a lot,” He says.

I nodded and took his bags. I walked to the nearest guest room. I put the bags down and his backpack on the bed. I go back into the living room area where Austin was looking at my photo frames on the wall.
“Is this you?” Austin asks.
I walk over to him, “Yeah, that is when I was like 3.”
“You were so cute,” Austin says.
“Shush Austin,” I say. I slide my hand into his, “Come on. Let me show you around.”
“Alright, lead away,” He says.

I walk around pointing out rooms. I show him his room and the bathroom he will be using. I showed him the studio room. Tux was following us, constantly rubbing against my legs then would smell Austin. I show him the door of my room.

“This is my room. You aren’t allowed in here unless I need cuddles, or I’m dying,” I say honestly.
“Can I see inside?” He asks.
“....Fine,” I say.

I open the door and walk in. Austin follow me in. My room had a few posters of bands on my wall. My degree was right by the TV on the wall. I look down at my hands. Austin just smiled as he walked around my room.
“You done?” I ask.
“Yeah, I’m done,” He says.
“Well, I’ll let you settle in. We are going out to a club like right before you leave. My friend wants to meet you,” I say.
“Alright, yeah, thats fine,” He says.

He walks out of my room and walks to his room. I grab my smokes and walks outside to my back porch and lit up a cigarette. Tux was too busy rubbing up against Austin. I smoked a cigarette. I finished it, and walked back inside. Austin was on the couch on his phone. I sat down next to him.
“I’ve never like had a boyfriend stay with me,” I say.
“I have but…,” He starts.
“I know. Believe me. You heard right from my mom that I had posters of you on my wall so I know about everything,” I state, “Do you want to into Philly and we can get Philly cheesesteak? You don’t find a cheesesteak any other place.”
“Well, damn you have me sold. Let’s go,” Austin says.

I grab my purse and keys. We walk into my garage. Austin just laughs a bit. I have a current VW Beetle. Thank God, it was a convertible. I unlocked the car. We got in. Austin barely fits. I put the top down. I open the garage door. We drove up to Philly. It took an hour but, Austin just seemed to enjoy the drive. I parallel parked the car and I pay the car meter for like three hours. We walk and we go up the street vender and I get two cheese steaks and a soft pretzel. I hand Austin one of the cheesesteaks. We walk down to this little stoop. We sat down and ate. Austin and I shared the soft pretzel.
“Holy shit, that was delicious,” Austin says.
“Reasons I picked to live outside of Philly,” I say to him.
“I think the soft pretzel was the best part.”
“I love soft pretzels. But I love pretzels.”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah.”

We walk around for a while before getting back in the car. He yawned quietly. I knew he was probably tired. I drove back.

“Why a beetle?” He asks.
“I’m small and I look damn good in it,” I answer.

We get back to house. We get out and go back into the house. I sit down on the couch. He sits down next to me.
“I’m so tired,” He says.
“Go rest up,” I say as I kiss his cheek.
“Maybe after a quick little make out,” He says like a teenage boy.

I roll my eyes and press my lips to his. We kiss in rather sweet kiss. We kiss sweetly and slowly. It was as amazing as the first kiss we had when he first got here. My head was spinning. He eventually pulled away and looks at me with a smile on his face. I look at him with a smile.

“Okay, wait I request cuddles…,” I say.
“Alright,” He says.

I walked to my room and got in my pajamas. Tux is the foot of my bed. Austin comes in, in his pajamas. I lay down and he lays down next to me. He holds me close to him. I slowly fall asleep in his arms. He fall asleep. This was perfect.