This Is Not What It Is.

XV

I wake up and today is when everyone is coming to my house for my birthday tomorrow. Alan, Austin, Isabella, and Josh are coming down for a weekend bash. I'm inviting my friend Iris, for Alan. She's been talking about how cute he is. They've been talking for a while so I hope things work out. I get up and feed Tux. I shower and get dressed. I look at my mirror. I bite my lip. My phone goes off. I look at it. Alan.

I hope this is the right place. I will cry if it's not. I'm tired gingy. I laugh.

I hear a knock on my door. I pull my hair up in a ponytail. I walk to the door. I open the door and a tired looking ginger was at my door.

"Come in," I say quietly.
"Thank you," Alan say as he walks in.
"I'll show you to your room then we can talk about Iris," I say as I close the door.
"She's so fucking sweet," He says.

I show him to his room and he places his stuff down. I show him around the house. We get back into the living room. Alan ended up holding Tux half way through the tour.

"I have rules," I say.
"Okay, spill," he states.
"Tux isn't allowed on the table, the counter, and the island. Well really any table. Take off your shoes at the front door. You have to make sure I take my medicine every day. In the evening, at five, or right before dinner. You cannot go in my room. You make a mess, you better clean it up. You can do pretty much anything you want. No destroying my studio. Ask me if you want to use the studio for studio purposes. No listening to songs that don't have Kiss Of Death in the name. No answering my phone, at all, unless one of your band members names pop up, which would be Boyf, Philly, Hug Monster, and Jokester. If you see Doctor on the screen, rush the phone to me," I say.
"Lots of rules," Alan says.
"I'll let you settle. I am going to make food. Do you want anything?" I ask.
"Nah, I ate on the airplane," He says.

My phone goes off. Austin's name on the screen.

My flight got canceled but there isn't an available flight till tonight. So, I'll be there at like midnight. I'm so sorry. I love you. Alan had texted me that he landed so I left him in charge of you.

I sigh quietly mumbling, "Dammit."
Alan looked up at me from looking at Tux, "Was that Austin?"
"Yeah, his flight got canceled. He's not getting in till midnight," I huff.
"Oh no. You'll be force to hang out with me all day till Prince Charming gets here," Alan says, his hand stroking Tux's back.
"Iris, Isabella, and Josh will be here about noon. So that's another three hours," I say.
"I get to see her in person and ask her out," Alan says.
"What?!?!" I asking, smiling.
"Shut it. I'm doing it before I leave," He says.
I get up to just awh him. I grab my smokes off the table, "Want one?"
"Hell yes," he answers.

Smoking was the reason we became friends. We both shuffled outsides. Sometimes I smoke inside but that's usually if I'm not expecting anyone. I took my phone outside with me. Alan and I both lit up a cigarette. I felt relaxed. I got four text messages from each guy in the band.

Simon: Just fucking landed in Philadelphia. Don't think I’d forget your birthday. Be there in an hour
York: Be down in an hour. Love you almost Birthday girl
Eli: I had to get a late night flight. I'll be there at midnight.
Spencer: To be honest, I'll be there in a few hours say midnight.

I smiled as I read them. I had smoke slipping from my lips as I laugh a bit. Alan had already reached for a second cigarette. I put out my done cigarette.

"Take it easy, I'm not going out to buy anymore till Friday," I say.
"I leave Thursday is that okay?" Alan asks.
"My house is your house ginger," I say.
"I might kidnap..." He starts.
"No cat napping my baby boy!" I say.
"B-but..." He starts.
"He's my baby," I state.
"So who is coming?" Alan asks.
"Isabella, Josh, Iris, you, Austin, Spencer, Eli, York and his lady, and Simon and his lady. So four couples, three extra people. Eli and Spencer can share a room since I'm pretty sure they've shared a bed before. I don't know where I am sticking Iris," I say.
"She can stay in my room!" Alan says, "I've been dying to hold her in my arms, to be honest."
"If she's okay with it." I say.

We walk inside after Alan is done with his cigarette.

"Where is Austin staying?"
"In my room."
"You two gonna bump uglies?"
"Maybe, maybe."
"Oooooo."
"Shut up! It depends on how drunk I get."
"I'm getting you fucked up!"
"Not too fucked up. Austin would take advantage of me."
"He would n..."
"He would too."

There is a knock on the door. I get up and walk to the door. I open it and see Simon, York, Lexi, and Hope.

"Phoenix!" They say at the same time.
"Hey guys." I say.

I usher them in. I hug them both. I take their stuff to the rooms. I walk into the living room.

"Ashby this is my girl Lexi," York says.
"Hi," Alan says as her hand.
"Hello Alan," Lexi says.
"This is Hope," Simon says.
"Hello Alan," Hope says.
"Hi Hope," Alan says, shaking her hand.

"Tea or coffee guys?" I ask them.
"Coffee," Simon says.
"Tea," York and Lexi says.
"Coffee," Hope says.
"I'll be back," I say as I walk to the kitchen.

I'm about to start more coffee before Hope and Lexi come in.

"So you and Austin going to bump uglies?" Hope asks.
"Maybe," I answer.
"Ooo girl, get it," Lexi says.
"Guys, I am nervous about it. We've never done anything like sexual. I also hate...,"
"Your body is fine. All your scars are beautiful," Lexi says.
"You cannot let your scars make you miss out on things that could be amazing," Hope comments.
"We are doing it tomorrow night after everyone is asleep," I say confidently.
"Cool, so we'll drag everyone else out to bars," Hope says.
"And tell them you two want alone time to 'bump uglies'," Lexi says putting air quotes around "bump uglies".
"At least I just got waxed last night so I'm okay," I comment.
"Good for you. Prepping yourself," Lexi says.
"Condoms? Birth Control?" Hope ask.
"I'm on birth control and I have condoms," I answer.

We finally walk out with the coffee and tea. I give everyone what they wanted. We talked for what seems like hours. I had manage to slip away to cook for everyone. We had a nice meal then played dumb games. The girls and I had managed to watch The Kardashians. In the middle of one of the episodes I hear a knock on the door. I excuse myself from everyone and go to the door, opening it to Iris, Isabella, and Josh. I invited them in. I pause the episode. Iris and Alan collided in a hug. Everyone watches them.

"Iris, you are so much more beautiful in person," Alan says.
"Alan," Iris says with a blush, "You are more amazing in person."
"Will you be my girlfriend?" he asks.
"Yes. Yes! Yes yes yes," She answer.

They kiss softly. I admire my handy work on setting them up. All this couples stuff made me miss my Austin. I hug Isabella and Josh. I introduce Alan to Isabella and Josh. Lexi, Hope, and I go to the kitchen and start making food. I'm more just watching.

"You miss Austin don't you dear?" Lexi speaks up.
"Yeah, I mean seeing everyone be all couple like. I miss having my boyfriend here," I say.
"He'll be here soon baby girl," Hope says.

We finished up the good and brought it out. We ate with little chatter. Everyone eventually went to their assorted rooms. I got on the couch. I watched more Kholé and Kourtney. I was keeping an eye on the time. It was 11:30pm. I'm pretty tired. I am probably going to fall asleep before Austin gets here. I just feel lonely. My breath hitches in my throat. My fingers get tappy. My arm muscles spasms a bit. I get up and run to the York and Lexi are in. I knock on the door. York opens the door.

"What's up?" He asks. Tears flows down my cheeks. He hugs me and rocks me a bit. He kisses my head. Lexi had left to get my emergency meds. She comes back with them and I take him. York stands there and soothes me. He leads me to my room. He tucks me in. "I'll stay up to let everyone in when they get here. Okay?" I nod. He turns off the lights and leaves. I slowly fall asleep.

*_*couple hours later*_*

I wake up a bit when I hear footsteps in my room. There is a bit of shuffling then the weight of the bed shifts. Arms wrap themselves around me. A body presses up against me. I fall back to sleep.
♠ ♠ ♠
This might be a bit shitty sorry about that.