This Is Not What It Is.

We did it. We officially made the move to California. I lived in California. Isabella was a bit heart broken when she found out I was moving. I told her it was okay because I know I was the only thing holding her to Pennsylvania, so Josh and her could move Canada, like Josh has been wanting to. I know for Tux the move was hard. I know getting used to the hot temperature was going to be a struggle. My parents are stoked that I now live closer to them. Austin is a bit bummed to have to leave his beach house, I told him he could keep it. He said he was thinking about it, and that’s the last time we talked about it.

Currently I am prepping the room where my studio will be before I start to set it up. It’s just been a bunch of soundproofing the room and figuring out the wires will run from one room to the other. I’ve also been setting up the vocal booth, which is my pride and joy. I’ve been prepping for about a week, knowing that another week will be dedicated to setting up. I know I’ve spent a bunch on nice equipment. I’ve got the best stuff I could get my hand on. I’ve also set up the rooms for the bands to stay. Austin just gave me his card and I’ve been spending a lot, and I feel horrible. He insist that it’s our money now, but I feel horrible because I didn’t make this money. Austin has been helping me building stuff. I managed to get the recording studio in the basement, which it needed walls.

I expressed to this to Austin, so whilst I was packing to come here, Austin got some contractor in the basement to put up walls for me. I was so grateful for Austin. Big Bear has been great. Austin and I keep finding ourselves back in Orange County, getting burritos and In ’n’ Out. Austin and the guys are about to go back on tour, so most of the time we are in Orange County they’re talking about the tour and what songs they want to play and choosing a bus. I am just waiting for Kevin Lyman to get back to us. Our manager and Of Mice’s manager has been working their asses off to get us this opportunity. I’m pretty sure Kevin will say yes. We now have enough to have a bus. I am not telling Austin about the Warped thing till we get a ‘yes’. I’ve sneaked around Austin to talk to his manager. Ronald has been helpful and actually been getting along with Jonathan, York’s brother and our new manager/tour manager. It’s been full year since the tour with Of Mice and Tonight Alive.

It’s late February. Kevin should be getting back to Jonathan and Ronald soon. I am excited for this. I am laying in our bed whilst Austin is out to lunch with his guys. I am taking a break from the studio. I also had a good friend from high school, who moved to California after high school, to come paint murals on the walls of the studio, except for the vocal booth. She was down there doing it. I decided to hang in my room, so I am not hovering over her shoulder. I am enjoying this new place. It was all mine…and Austin’s. He’s leaving soon and it’s honestly killing me. I understand though. They're doing an overseas tour, which is the hardest thing. I’ll have limited time to talk to him. However it’ll be a good time for the guys to come over and we can start recording new stuff. I decide to send a tweet out about it.

@PhoeEllaDeath: We have time to record a new song. Just need the guys to join me in CA.

I pretty much got replies from the guys almost instantly.

@ThePopesterDeath: @PhoeEllaDeath Yo, I’ll pack up my car and drive there. Can’t wait to see the new studio.
@SimonPermDeath: @PhoeEllaDeath Yo, give me an hour or two and I’ll be there.
@EliTheTexDeath: @PhoeEllaDeath SERIOUSLY SHOULD FLY OUT THERE! I MISS YOUR FACE AND I WANNA RECORD.
@YorkTylerDeath: @PhoeEllaDeath are we talking about #KissOfDeathJuniorAlbum? Because Yes please.

I laugh mostly at Elijah’s response, because honestly I hope he does.

@PhoeEllaDeath: @EliTheTexDeath YO FLY OUT HERE SON! I MISS YOUR FACE TOO!
@PhoeEllaDeath: @YorkTylerDeath Let’s give the fans what they want.
@PhoeEllaDeath: @SimonPermDeath Come on down. My muralist should be done then.
@PhoeEllaDeath: @ThePopsterDeath Please Do c: I miss you!

I got off of twitter as I hear a knock on my bedroom door. I get off my bed and I open the door to her, my muralist, face. I smile tiny.


“Is it done?” I ask.
“Almost, I was gonna put final touches. I just need to know black or white?” She asks.
“Uh, white,” I answer with a smile.
“Okay. It’ll be done in thirty minutes,” She answers.

She turned around and departed me. My phone started ringing and I took to see Jonathan’s name. I quickly pick up.


“Whats up?” I say.
“Guess who is going on Warped Tour?” Jonathan asks.
“NO WAY!” I practically squeal.
“Yes way! Gerard Way! Mikey Way!” Jonathan says with a small laugh.
“I am so excited!” I say happily.
“Let’s Skype call the guys later and let them know,” Jonathan says.
“You’re the best Jon!” I squeal.
“Yeah, yeah. Go have fun kiddo, love you,” He muses.

“Alright, love you too,” I say and hang up.


I immediately go on Twitter to send a quick tweet.

@PhoeEllaDeath: Summer Fun. Beaches, Music, and The Boys!

I hit send, hoping that was vague enough. I am super excited about all of this. I can’t wait for Austin to get home, so I can share the news with him.

From Austin: Hey baby, on my way home.


I squeal as I type out my reply.


To Austin: Yay! I have news to tell you c:

I hit send and get up. I start to make my way down to the studio and I call out.


“Kir? Is it done?” I ask as I stop halfway.
“Yes ma’am!” She says.

I squeal as I run down the hall and I glance at it. It’s the beautiful tree I’ve always wanted. I notice the flecks of white coming through in the branches that were textured like music notes. It was just perfect. My eyes water up and I just look at it.


“I love it. You are amazing!” I say happily as I hug Kir.
“No problem. It was super fun. I know how long you’ve been wanting this. I am glad I finally got to do it,” Kir says happily as she hugs me back. “I have to go now. I have another project like this that I have to prep for.” She releases herself from my hug.
“Yeah, of course. Let me get the money,” I say.


We go back upstairs and I give her the money. I help load up her big truck, and she goes on her way. I go back downstairs and I sit down in front of the mural for an hour. I don’t even notice Austin calling my name or anything. He sits himself down next to me and I could see his smile in my peripheral.

“This is kick ass,” he states simply.
“I’ve wanted a tree painted for so long,” I say.
“What did you need to tell me?” he asks.
I just look over at him and smile, “Well, I went around you to talk to Ronald. Him and Jonathan has been working together and contacted Kevin Lyman…and they got Kiss of Death on Warped Tour!”
“Congratulations baby!” Austin said as he kisses my head. “We should be back by the time you have to leave.”

“I hate this busy schedule,” I say.
“I know,” his voice just soft.

I just moved into his lap as I rest my head against his shoulder. His long tattooed arms wrap around my small frame. His lips press a tiny kiss to my head. I quite enjoy him holding me.

“We are thinking about recording a song for summer,” I inform Austin.
“We?” Austin asks.
“The guys and I. Do you want to do guess vocals?” I ask quietly.
“Can I help with writing the song?” Austin questions me.
“Yeah, of course!” I say excitedly. “I think the guys are coming soon. We’ve already made plans.”
“Awesome!” Austin says, clearly excited for me.

We share a quick kiss before pulling away. We get up and walk back to our bedroom. It’s been a long day, emotionally for us. Austin’s heart has been stressing a bit with all his tours. I am worried about it. He overworks himself, but he loves the touring life; he loves performing. I understand where he is coming from though. Him and I basically have the same job, his is just 20 times more crazier.

******
Waking up with Austin’s arms around me, his stomach deflating and inflating with each breath he takes and lets out. It’s a beautiful sight. His breathing mask was on this morning, I swear it wasn’t on when we fell asleep. His breathing must had stopped during the night. That’s not good.


“Aus?” I ask
“Mmm?” He answers me weakly as he moves his breathing mask and turn off his machine.
“What happened?”
“My breathing was acting up last night, and I didn’t want to disturb you. I just hooked myself to my machine. I am fine.”
“Austin, you know you can wake me up for that!”

“You looked so peaceful.”
“I love you, ya big idiot.”

“I love you too, brat.”

We share a tiny kiss. Tux meows and comes sits on my chest, small boobs for the win. I pet him as Austin snuggles into me. I love this. I love this perfect family I have.