This Is Not What It Is.
VII
We get to the venue. Alan gets on his bus. I stayed in my bunk, just playing on my laptop.
“PHOENIX!” Spencer yelled.
“What?” I yelled back at him.
“Do you want to go to the cheesecake factory with us?” He asks.
“Yes….Of course! CHEESECAKE!” I replied loudly.
The guys and crew laughed. We walk to the cheesecake factory by the venue. We got a long ass table for us. We are very nice together in a restaurant. We are horrible however left alone in our tour bus. We ordered our drinks and food. After time passes our waitress gives us our drinks. I love spending quality time with the crew and the band. They are also dudes, and lady. Our merch person is a lady. She's super awesome. We are sitting together and gossiping about the rest of the of the bands. Our waitress gives everyone our food and we eat. We finish our food and make our way to the venue. There was a few fans standing in line.
"Awh, man, I remember doing that," I say to Elijah.
"You still do that. Remember when Blink came?" He comments.
"Oh, yeah, right," I say.
We get the venue and did our sound check right away. We went back to our dressing room. I started to put my hair up and changed into my stage clothes. I also put my hair up. I need to redye my hair. I am thinking blonde with like blue or purple tips. I am not quite sure yet. I looked up in the mirror and saw a man standing behind me with the cutest grin on his face.
"Hey Phoenix..." Austin says.
"Hi Austin," I say as I look at him.
"So, ummmm, I was wondering if you wanted to go out to the bar with me after the show?" He asks as he leans against the counter, locking his eyes on mine.
"I'm only 20..." I mumble.
"Then we could go to a restaurant..." He muses.
"Yeah, that sounds lovely," I answer.
"Cool," He mumbles and kisses the top of my head.
I smile at him, the glanced down at my hands. I thought about the text ALan sent me. I scrunched my nose, hoping that Austin wouldn't try to have sex with me. I didn't want it. I have self respect for myself, somehow. We got called to the stage, our intro music started playing, which was the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song. We walked out to the stage.
"HELLO!" I say into the microphone, cheers filled the room. I smiled wide and we started playing.
We played a few songs beforing we stopped for a breather. Alan walked out and waved to everyone. He walked up to me, blowing out his smoke.
"Hi Kitty," I state into the microphone.
"Hello," Alan says.
"What the fuck do you want?"
"Austin wanted to know if you ike seafood.."
"I don't...I hate seafood."
"Okay...Well see you later"
He took a drag of his cigarette, offering me a drag, which i took one then handed it back to him. He walked off. I blew out the smoke and we started playing our last song. I looked around, seeing Elijah getting his acoustic.
"We're going soft for this last song." I annouce.
The other guys had fled the stage. Elijah started playing "When You Can't Sleep At Night" I sang the words. My breathe going shakey and my eyes welding up half way through the song. After the song finished i thanked the crowd and we walked off. Austin was standing there. I walked into his arms and we hugged. I let the tears that were there escaped, damping Austin's shirt. I look up at him. He looked down at me. He started to lean forward. I chickened out and got out of his arms. He sighed and I walked away to the dressing room. Once I was in the dressing room, I grabbed my cigarettes and my lighter. I walked out and walked outside. I lit up my cigarette, taking a long first drag. I blew out my smoke. I look down at the ground as I smoke. Someone came outside but I didn't bother looking up. The person walked in front of me, I knew who those shoes belong to. It was Austin. I looked up at him, bowing out smoke.
"I'm sorry, for earlier," He apologized.
"It's fine, really. We still on for dinner?" I asked him.
"Of course," He said with a smile on his face.
I laughed quietly as I put out my cigarette. I slid my hand into his and we walked back inside and we dropped me off at my dressing room. I walked in, closing the door slowly. I changed into normal clothes, which is a pair of skinnies, a large jumper, and my toms. I put my hair down, glaring at it. I hate my hair. I have to deal with it though. I get up and walk to the couch, where Elijah was sitting. I kinda laid down, leaving my legs on his lap.
"Why?" He questions.
"Why not?" I answer.
He shakes his head with a laugh. I smile at him as my eyes close slowly.
“PHOENIX!” Spencer yelled.
“What?” I yelled back at him.
“Do you want to go to the cheesecake factory with us?” He asks.
“Yes….Of course! CHEESECAKE!” I replied loudly.
The guys and crew laughed. We walk to the cheesecake factory by the venue. We got a long ass table for us. We are very nice together in a restaurant. We are horrible however left alone in our tour bus. We ordered our drinks and food. After time passes our waitress gives us our drinks. I love spending quality time with the crew and the band. They are also dudes, and lady. Our merch person is a lady. She's super awesome. We are sitting together and gossiping about the rest of the of the bands. Our waitress gives everyone our food and we eat. We finish our food and make our way to the venue. There was a few fans standing in line.
"Awh, man, I remember doing that," I say to Elijah.
"You still do that. Remember when Blink came?" He comments.
"Oh, yeah, right," I say.
We get the venue and did our sound check right away. We went back to our dressing room. I started to put my hair up and changed into my stage clothes. I also put my hair up. I need to redye my hair. I am thinking blonde with like blue or purple tips. I am not quite sure yet. I looked up in the mirror and saw a man standing behind me with the cutest grin on his face.
"Hey Phoenix..." Austin says.
"Hi Austin," I say as I look at him.
"So, ummmm, I was wondering if you wanted to go out to the bar with me after the show?" He asks as he leans against the counter, locking his eyes on mine.
"I'm only 20..." I mumble.
"Then we could go to a restaurant..." He muses.
"Yeah, that sounds lovely," I answer.
"Cool," He mumbles and kisses the top of my head.
I smile at him, the glanced down at my hands. I thought about the text ALan sent me. I scrunched my nose, hoping that Austin wouldn't try to have sex with me. I didn't want it. I have self respect for myself, somehow. We got called to the stage, our intro music started playing, which was the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song. We walked out to the stage.
"HELLO!" I say into the microphone, cheers filled the room. I smiled wide and we started playing.
We played a few songs beforing we stopped for a breather. Alan walked out and waved to everyone. He walked up to me, blowing out his smoke.
"Hi Kitty," I state into the microphone.
"Hello," Alan says.
"What the fuck do you want?"
"Austin wanted to know if you ike seafood.."
"I don't...I hate seafood."
"Okay...Well see you later"
He took a drag of his cigarette, offering me a drag, which i took one then handed it back to him. He walked off. I blew out the smoke and we started playing our last song. I looked around, seeing Elijah getting his acoustic.
"We're going soft for this last song." I annouce.
The other guys had fled the stage. Elijah started playing "When You Can't Sleep At Night" I sang the words. My breathe going shakey and my eyes welding up half way through the song. After the song finished i thanked the crowd and we walked off. Austin was standing there. I walked into his arms and we hugged. I let the tears that were there escaped, damping Austin's shirt. I look up at him. He looked down at me. He started to lean forward. I chickened out and got out of his arms. He sighed and I walked away to the dressing room. Once I was in the dressing room, I grabbed my cigarettes and my lighter. I walked out and walked outside. I lit up my cigarette, taking a long first drag. I blew out my smoke. I look down at the ground as I smoke. Someone came outside but I didn't bother looking up. The person walked in front of me, I knew who those shoes belong to. It was Austin. I looked up at him, bowing out smoke.
"I'm sorry, for earlier," He apologized.
"It's fine, really. We still on for dinner?" I asked him.
"Of course," He said with a smile on his face.
I laughed quietly as I put out my cigarette. I slid my hand into his and we walked back inside and we dropped me off at my dressing room. I walked in, closing the door slowly. I changed into normal clothes, which is a pair of skinnies, a large jumper, and my toms. I put my hair down, glaring at it. I hate my hair. I have to deal with it though. I get up and walk to the couch, where Elijah was sitting. I kinda laid down, leaving my legs on his lap.
"Why?" He questions.
"Why not?" I answer.
He shakes his head with a laugh. I smile at him as my eyes close slowly.