We're Only Watching The Skies

Fallon peeked up from her plate of food, only to find Arlie’s eyes boring down on her. They had decided to go out for supper before practice with the justification that they were malnourished from eating ramen noodles and Starbucks coffee for so long. It was supposed to be a moment to take a breath and relax, but Fallon felt that Arlie wasn’t going to let the fact that Louis Tomlinson, the boy that Fallon had declared she hated, was in Fallon’s bed the morning before just disappear.
A few silent moments ticked by silently. “Just ask it already,” Fallon sighed as she set her fork down.
“What?” Arlie raised her eyebrows innocently. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You’re just itching to ask me what happened with Louis. Just do it and get it over with, please. Put me out of my misery.” Arlie didn’t hide her feelings very well. She had been antsy ever since she came back from her study session, and Fallon knew it was just a matter of time before she broke and started to let questions fall out of her mouths quicker than Fallon could take them in.
Arlie shrugged. “Nah, I’m good. It’s your business.” The pair sat there for a few more minutes, picking over what was left of their food. Fallon watched Arlie try to ignore the nagging questions that were bouncing around in her head. It built and built until finally, Arlie broke. “Fine! Why was he there?” Fallon smiled lightly at her friend’s weak disposition. “What can I say, I’m nosy!” Arlie laughed.
Fallon nodded, pushing her plate to the side. Let the interrogation begin. “We were honestly running lines.”
“Ok then, why was he on your bed?”
“Well, he was on your bed, but he wanted to show me some pictures.”
“My bed?!” Arlie shrieked. “Why was he on my bed?!”
“I mean... he just... well... he made himself at home, I guess.”
“But on MY bed?” Arlie slammed her hands down on the table. “Listen, I don’t care if he comes over, but that is MY bed. You can tell his fancy-pants that I am very particular about my bed. I don’t want some hooligan laying on it.” Fallon tried to contain her snicker by covering her face, but it slowly leaked out. “It’s not funny!” Arlie said as she contradicted herself with a laugh.
“Anyways, back to the questions. Why did he wrap his arm around you?”
Fallon knew this question was going to come up and she had tried to ready herself for it, but her face still flushed bright red at the thought. She had thought about that touch time and time again, remembering how it felt, savoring the memory. She shrugged lightly as she still tried to contain herself in front of her roommate. “I don’t really know. Maybe just to unnerve both of us?”
Arlie gasped loudly. “Oh. My. God.” It was like she had just made some big revelation on the meaning of life.
“What?” Fallon grasped her drink and sipped from the straw, trying to mask her feelings.
“You really DO like him.”
She almost spit her drink all over the table to deny it. “No I don’t!”
“You really do. You like him. He drives you crazy! You just won’t admit it to yourself. Or anyone else for that matter.” She stared holes at Fallon, waiting for an answer. “You blush every time he makes any sort of comment even relatively towards you. Whenever you talk about him, you get reallyyyy anxious and try to move the subject to something else. It’s obvious. You like him.” Fallon wondered if it was really that noticeable that she had started to fall for him. So much for thinking Arlie was bad at hiding her feelings.
“Please, Arlie, just... let’s drop it.”
Arlie shook her head. “No, you gave me permission to ask.” She was not going to let this go.
Fallon finally sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Fine,” she said softly. “I do like him a little bit, I guess. I mean, how could you not? He is practically a god.” Fallon stopped herself before she went on a rant about everything that was perfect about that boy.
“See, was it really that hard?” Arlie grabbed the ticket from the table and stood up. Fallon followed her lead as they paid at the front desk and walked outside.
“I’m just worried.” Arlie shrugged on her jacket as they made their way to her vehicle. The pair hopped in as Fallon started to explain. “He’s a heartbreaker, Arlie. He probably does this to all the girls. I don’t want to be just another one of his conquests.”
It was silent for a moment, the only sound coming from the engine and the wind rushing around the car. “I don’t think it’s like that,” she finally responded softly.
“Why not?”
“Well, don’t quote me here. But I’ve noticed the way he looks at you. I may be on to something that means nothing at all, but it doesn’t hurt to notice it.” Fallon sat quietly as she tried to understand what Arlie was talking about. “When he sees you, there’s this look that crosses over his face. It’s like he is a completely different person, Fallon.”
“When he does that... is it this softer look? Like, he seems more gentle or... or happier?”
“Exactly!” Arlie exclaimed loudly.
Fallon nodded as she twirled a lock of hair around her finger mindlessly. “I’ve seen it.” Those moments where he was talking about his childhood were the most obvious ones. He had looked open and vulnerable, not all shut up and unhappy.
“Yeah, I have never seen him look at anyone that way before. I have class with him, and there’s this one girl in there that he was wooing. He never ever looked at her the way he does you. He kept that smug look of his plastered on his face. But then like, fifteen minutes later, I would catch him watching you walk across the quad, and he would smile. Like a genuine smile.” The image of Louis smiling caught Fallon off-guard and caused her to inhale sharply as her heart panged. “Don’t take what I’m telling you as a solid truth. I don’t want you to take my word for it and get your heart broken.”
The threat of Louis breaking her heart was a real one. She was scared to even think about him, let alone fall head over heels for him. She tried to push the thoughts of him out of her mind. She was afraid that if she held onto his memories for too long, she would never be able to climb out of the hole that she was destined to tumble into. A hole filled with Louis’ perfect smile, his scent that had washed over her during their almost kiss, and the sound of his voice. Everything perfect and forbidden about Louis was crammed into this part of her mind, pushed out of the normal crevices, just out of reach from her normal thinking process.
But just for a moment, Fallon allowed herself to relish in this abyss. She dipped her hand in, getting a small peek of what rested in the bottom of it. If she let herself lean in too far, she would plunge into the darkness to a place that, although so very sweet and tempting, would leave her hurt and aching for more. She had to teeter herself right on the edge, careful not to lose herself.
Fallon was terrified of losing herself in these thoughts. Just days ago, she loathed Louis. She could not even stand to breathe the same air as him. And now, she couldn’t get enough. That was just the kind of guy he was. He was the king of whirlwind romances, taking the girls and sucking them into his trap. Louis was a master at the art. It was no surprise that after spending just a few days with him that she had completely overturned her attitude towards him.
Before she even realized it, they were pulling up in front of the auditorium for practice. “You ready to see him?” Arlie grinned.
Fallon couldn’t even answer. She grabbed her script from the floorboard and got out of the car slowly. Arlie ran over to her and took her hand, swinging it back and forth as they walked. “Ow ow!” someone called as they walked in. They both glanced up on the stage, seeing Louis and his friends horsing around. The curly headed boy was grinning from ear to ear. “Hey Louis, you didn’t tell me your girl had a friend.”
“Wendy’s just full of surprises then, isn’t she?” Louis replied, his eyes locked on Fallon.
Fallon rolled her eyes. “Here we go.” Arlie stayed silent. “You ok?” Fallon asked, glancing over at her friend.
“Who’s that?” she finally asked.
“One of Louis’ friends, I think.”
“Why haven’t you introduced me?” Arlie hissed.
Fallon let out a small laugh. “It isn’t like I associate with Louis’ group of friends on an everyday basis. I try to stay away from them if I can.”
“Well find out for me!” Fallon left Arlie’s side in the audience and walked onstage. Like a magnet, Louis drifted towards her. Fallon’s heart started to beat faster and faster, a feeling that she absolutely hated. She didn’t like the fact that a man had such an effect on her.
He stepped in front of her with a smirk on his face. “How bad of an interrogation did you get this morning?” he asked quietly.
She tried to push the thoughts of the morning out of her head, but they all came flooding back relentlessly. “Pretty bad. Nothing I couldn’t handle though,” she replied.
Louis cleared his throat, the smirk on his face growing. “Yeah? Did you tell her what happened right before I left?”
A warm sensation burned through Fallon’s body. “No. I didn’t. And I’d rather keep it that way. She doesn’t need to know.”
“Doesn’t need to know how you realllllly wanted to kiss me?”
“You can’t tell me you didn’t want to kiss me too.” Fallon’s voice was almost a whisper.
“No, I can’t tell you that,” Louis responded, shrugging his shoulder. Fallon’s eyes found his in an instant. She expected to see the normal, arrogant look on his face, but instead, she saw the look that she and Arlie had discussed in the car. “And I can’t tell you I don’t want to do it now either.” He smiled as he watched Fallon tense up. “Are you just not aware of how... peculiar you get when I speak to you like that?” His brows wrinkled together in curiosity. At first, Fallon thought he was just trying to make her feel uncomfortable again for his own liking, but he was honestly interested in knowing.
She nodded a little. “Yeah... I know.”
“So are you admitting it?”
“Admitting what?”
“Admitting that I do affect you.” Louis grinned, causing his eyes to crinkle in the corners. Fallon added this look to the hole of memories so she could go back later and appreciate it fully.
“It seems you already have your mind made up,” she said to avoid answering, “so it wouldn’t do me any good to deny it.” He took this response as his answer. As the two spoke, a few little kids hopped up onstage and were talking to the director.
“My lost boys!” Mr. Stiller exclaimed, a grin spreading across his face. “Now, my dear cast, I’ll be working with the lost boys and pirates today. The rest of you are free to hang around and watch or leave.” Fallon glanced over at Arlie, who was chatting happily with the certain curly headed boy.
Louis chuckled slightly. “Looks like Harry made a new friend.” Arlie giggled relentlessly at a joke Harry told that Fallon was sure was not as funny as Arlie was making it out to be. She clearly was smitten with this guy, and from the way he was smiling at her, he seemed to like her too. “Come on. Let me show you something.” Louis took her hand quickly and pulled her towards the backstage curtain.
Fallon tried pulling her hand away, but to no avail. His fingers were intertwined with hers and his grip was too tight; she was not getting out of his grasp. “Where are you taking me?” Fallon snickered. Louis was smiling like a mischievous little kid as he turned his head slightly to look at her. His eyes held that small spark that she had seen only a few times before and it took her breath away. He looked like a careless child hunting for something to get into. This was not the Louis that teased and taunted her. This was the Louis that had lost himself in remembrance of his childhood. This was the Louis that stayed hidden while he was trying to act like his big-and-bad self.
“It’s kinda like my Neverland.” He suddenly spun around in front of her, causing her to crash right into him. Their eyes found each other and Fallon felt her heart begin to race. The look that was in his eyes was so intense, burning straight to her core. She attempted to catch her breath in a discreet manner so he wouldn’t notice, but that was not near what happened. “Ah...” he whispered. “There you go again. Proving to me that I do affect you.”
The hallway they were standing in was dark, the only light coming from a small desk light on the prop table. Shadows danced across the boy’s face, bringing to life the modern day Peter Pan that he was. Fallon let out a sigh, releasing the tension she had been unknowingly harboring. “You really don’t hide your feelings well,” he breathed, reaching up to stroke her face just like he had that morning. Before she could get too lost in thought, he pulled away from her. “Come on. I want to show you this.”
She watched him as he began to climb up a ladder hanging from the ceiling. “I am SO not climbing up there.”
Louis reached down from the bottom rung of the ladder and grabbed her hand again. “Oh yes you are.” He pulled her towards the ladder. “Please?” So many reasons not to follow this boy crossed Fallon’s mind, but in the end, she went with the voice in the back of her mind that was whispering “do it.” When she moved towards him, a contagious smile broke across his face, causing her return it without a thought. He climbed the ladder swiftly, pushing the loft door open and disappearing into the dark attic space.
“Louis!” Fallon hissed, staring into the darkness. She climbed up a few of the rungs hesitantly. “Louis, seriously. Where did you go?” She heard him clattering around for a few moments, and then a dim light flickered on. Louis leaned his head over the edge of the opening, grinning wildly, his eyes bright with excitement.
“Right here babe,” he replied, causing her heart to skip a few beats. “Come on. Just be careful. We don’t want our Wendy breaking a leg, do we?”
Fallon pulled herself up a few more steps. “Isn’t that the motto though? Break a leg?”
“Yes, it is, but let’s not take it seriously.” She finally reached the top of the ladder and carefully climbed into the loft. Louis shut the trap door behind her and let out a happy sigh. “Well,” he started, helping her to her feet, “this is my hideaway.” Fallon let her eyes trail across the room. Props from years before lined the walls, forgotten and collecting dust. Costumes that obviously hadn’t been worn in over ten years hung from a few different rods that ran the length of the room. It was like an overlooked time capsule that was just begging for someone to open it and discover what was concealed inside it. “Well?” Fallon glanced over at him. Suddenly, he looked much younger than the 21 year old that he was. He was a small boy, excited about showing his secret hideout to his friend.
Fallon lost herself in his enthusiasm and giggled. “It’s great. How often do you come up here?”
“A lot actually,” he responded as he crossed the room, his fingers trailing over ratty costumes. “I come up here to run lines. To study. To just... get away, I guess.” His hands gripped one of the bars that was holding the costumes and lifted his feet, swinging back and forth.
Fallon strolled over to him and stood in front of him, crossing her arms. “And you were telling me not to break my leg?”
Abruptly, he dropped from the bar. The little bit of space that was between them had now vanished. Fallon could feel the warmth of Louis’ body creep over her and she couldn’t help but shutter slightly. “No teasing,” he whispered. “That’s my job.” He stepped away from her, cold creeping in where the warmth had been just seconds before. Her eyes followed him to a corner of the room that the dim light did not touch. “Come here,” he called to her, his voice barely above a whisper. Every noise in the room seemed to be amplified. The steps that she took towards the lost boy echoed around her, even though she was almost tip-toeing. As she got closer to him, the corner came into focus and she started to smile. Louis was sitting on an old, dumpy chair, the cushions of which were mismatched and patched after years of wear-and-tear.
“What’s this?” she asked as she ran her fingers across the arm of the threadbare fabric. He took her hand and pulled her towards him, causing her to lose her balance and fall into his lap. “Hey!” she cried, trying to get up.
Before she could push herself away from him, Louis wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. “This is my home away from home,” he responded through a smile. After a few moments of struggle, Fallon gave in and sighed. She leaned back, her back pressed close against his chest. The warmth was back, and this time it surrounded her wholly. “Like it?” His breath engulfed her ear and tickled her skin. She attempted to reply, but she instead just nodded her head, afraid that her voice may give her away. A few moments of silence passed before he said anything else. “I’ve never brought anyone up here.”
“Why not?” she finally asked.
She felt him shrug beneath her as he said, “I’m not sure... I guess I knew you would appreciate it.” He kicked his feet up on a shelf beside the chair and leaned his head back with a satisfied sigh. “It’s just nice up here. It’s so quiet. There’s no one to bother you. Hardly anyone even knows about this place. There’s no one to... interrupt.” Fallon swallowed hard, her breath escaping her quickly. He chuckled softly under her. “So, tell me about yourself, Wendy.”
“Well first of all, my name isn’t Wendy.”
She could almost hear him roll his eyes. “You know what I mean.”
Fallon shook her head and laughed. “What do you want to know?”
Louis thought for a few moments, his arms around her waist tightening subconsciously. Slowly, she began to relax into his arms. She didn’t know what she was doing here with him. She didn’t know why she wanted to tell him about her whole life, from her first moments to right now, but she did. “Well, tell me about your family.”
“Hmm... I have an older brother named Joseph. I never really see him much. He moved to Wisconsin four years ago after he graduated college. My mom’s name is Karen, and she is the most wonderful person in the world.”
“What about your dad?” Louis prodded as he took a lock of her hair and twirled it around his finger.
“I.. uh..” Fallon’s face turned red and she looked down at the floor.
“Is something wrong?”
“No... it’s just that...” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “He passed away when I was three.” Louis stiffened underneath her uncomfortably.
He shook his head softly. “I’m... I’m so sorry.”
“No, don’t be. It’s not your fault.”
“If you don’t mind me asking... what happened?” Quickly, Louis began to backtrack. “I mean if it upsets you too much forget I asked. I don’t want to offend you.”
Fallon leaned back slowly, laying her head on the arm of the chair. “My parents separated, and four months later he killed himself.”
Louis stiffened underneath her. “I’m so... I’m so sorry.”
“No, don’t be. You didn’t know.”
“Are you... ok?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I mean I get sad sometimes, of course, but who wouldn’t in the same situation? I just know he is in a better place.” Louis sectioned off a piece of her hair and twirled it around his fingers mindlessly.
“How did your family handle it?”
“Well, it was a little tougher for my brother since he knew him a little more than I did. But he got over it pretty quick. My mom though... she took it really hard. She blamed herself. Still does, as a matter of fact...”
Louis was quiet for a moment, and then asked, “How do you handle it?” Fallon thought for a few moments, realizing that no one had ever asked her that before. After a few silent seconds, she felt Louis’ hand reach up into her hair again, sectioning out another larger lock. He pulled it through his fingers and messily braided it. “It’s ok. Take your time,” he said.
She took a deep breath, relishing the moment. “Well... I mean, sometimes I get upset,” she said with a shrug. “I just wish his kids would have been enough to keep him here.”
He drug his fingers through her thick brown hair once more. An involuntary shiver shook her body and forced Louis to chuckle. “When you’re sick like that, there isn’t much that can save you.”
“I just don’t want to make the same mistakes as my parents did, I guess. I couldn’t force my kids to go through that.”
“You just gotta stick it out. Make sure never to lose your youth. Have fun.” Louis was acting like someone she had never met before. He was acting like a caring, loving individual, not the normal taunting Louis she had seen before. Something was different, that’s for sure.
“Ask me something else.”
“Hmm... let’s see,” he pondered, brushing the section of hair out with his nimble fingers. “When’s your birthday?”
“Random much?” Fallon responded with a laugh. Louis shrugged underneath her and urged her to answer the question. “November 27th.”
“Oh, a Thanksgiving baby, huh?”
“Everybody gives thanks when I’m around, so it fits.”
Louis let out a hearty laugh, shaking under her body. “That was so cheesy.” Fallon replied with a small shrug. “My birthday is only a month away from yours. I was born on Christmas Eve. I was my mom’s Christmas miracle.”
“Now who’s being cheesy?”
Louis gave her body a squeeze, bringing her head towards his. He pressed his soft lips against her temple and mumbled, “Quit it.” Fallon’s eyes drifted shut as Louis let out a happy sigh. Louis began caressing the top of her head, fingers weaving in and out of her locks, drawing haphazard symbols on her scalp. She heard his gulp slightly. “Is it... bad... that this feels so nice?” His voice quivered slightly as he spoke. Louis had turned into the small, vulnerable boy, scared of his own feelings.
Fallon took a small breath. “I really hope not...”
“Good,” he returned, “because I really like it.” His voice trailed off, the only sounds coming from the slight tune of the piano downstairs.
Fallon realized she was falling deeper and deeper, and she was scared that Louis was not going to be there to catch her when she hit rock bottom. It would hurt worse than anything before, but even though she kept telling herself that, she refused to take her own advice. “Louis...” she said, sitting up slowly, unraveling her body from his arms.
His breath quickened. “Please don’t.”
“Louis, listen pl-”
“No, please. Just...” His voice grew softer, yet more intense. “I know what you’re going to say. I shouldn’t be here. We shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be holding you like this. I know. But... do you know how long it’s been since I have just held someone like this?” She started to reply, but he continued, sitting up behind her. “It’s all about sex. It’s all about getting a girl in bed. I thought... well... I thought that’s what was going to happen with you. I thought that’s what I wanted. But it’s not.” He took in a deep breath as her heart swelled inside her chest. “So, please. Can we just not think about it right now? Suffer the consequences later?”
Fallon wasn’t sure what to do. She knew on one hand, she should leave the loft. She should stop giving into Louis’ advances and just get the play over with, no strings attach. That would be the smart choice. The other choice was to lay back into his arms and just savor this moment. Not many girls get the chance to be held by this beautifully formed man, and honestly she wasn’t sure if it would ever happen again. She wanted to hold him in her arms and tell him it would be ok. He didn’t seem to get that very often.
Finally, she laid back with a sigh. His arms pulled her close against his chest again, and his face nuzzled into the crook of her neck. “Thank you,” he whispered.
“Why does it have to be all about sex?”
Louis shifted uncomfortably. “I sorta have... a reputation, if you will.”
“What kind of reputation?” she prodded.
He sighed softly. “Before college, I was a nerd.” Fallon faked a gasp and Louis rolled his eyes playfully. “Hard to believe huh? Anyways, I had made a promise to myself that when I got into college, I was going to be a different person. So I moved to the states with my mates, changed my whole look, and that’s how this whole thing started. I turned into the guy that every girl wanted to sleep with. I played football, had the British accent. I took advantage of it all. The guys kinda held me to it after the first couple of times.”
Fallon shook her head slightly. “Then why don’t you just let it go?”
“It’s a lot tougher than you think.”
“It doesn’t have to be.” Fallon turned her head slightly, catching his bright eyes. “Just stop. Do more things like this,” she said, motioning towards their bodies. Louis stayed silent. He slowly reached up towards her face and swept a stray lock of hair out of the way. There was that look again, that brightness, that life. However, he looked torn. Pained. Like he was being tugged between two choices. “Just think about it,” she finally whispered. Louis’ wasn’t listening to the words escaping her mouth. His eyes trailed down her face, landing on her lips. Her heart jumped to her throat.
He wanted to kiss her.
It wasn’t like the morning in her room. He really wanted to kiss her. He didn’t want to tease her. He wasn’t trying to unnerve her. He just wanted to kiss her.
As his hand cupped her cheek, Fallon took a few breaths to steady herself. She felt light headed, sick even. She wasn’t the most experienced at the kissing game. There had only been three boys that she had ever locked lips with. She didn’t even have any nightmare-ish stories from any of them. Her first was Johnny Miller in seventh grade. It happened at a friend’s birthday party at the swimming pool, and he tasted like vanilla ice cream and chlorine.
But now, the number was about to change from three to four, and this was going to be by far the best of them all.
Fallon’s cheeked flushed in the darkness, and she was thankful for the fact that there was no light around, or else Louis would be rethinking his decision to kiss her. Slowly, she felt him lean in towards her face. Her eyes fluttered close, and she braced herself.
“Louis! Hey, you up here?!” The loft door swung open, destroying the perfect silence that they had been engulfed in. A blonde headed boy climbed over the lip of the trap door, and looked around. Louis suddenly pushed Fallon off of him. She righted herself on the arm of the chair and stared at him, confused.
Louis walked over towards the boy and responded, “Right here, Niall.” His tone was different than before. The arrogant, snarky sound had reentered his voice where the sweet, charming voice had been. He was back to his old self.
Niall laughed as he helped the darker skinned boy up into the loft behind him. “What the heck are you doing up here? Zayn and I have been looking everywhere for you.”
“Just messing around.” Louis glanced over at Fallon quickly, only a slight bit of the softhearted boy left in his eyes. The other boys’ eyes trailed over to Fallon, and they immediately laughed.
“Yeah buddy!” Niall said, holding his hand up for a highfive. Louis returned it as he laughed along with them. Fallon stood up and walked over towards the group.
“You were just what?” said hissed, her eyes cut into dangerous slits.
Louis shook his head, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t try to play dumb, sweetheart. You know what we were doing.”
Anger washed over her. She clenched her fists tightly at her sides, resisting the urge to swing at the haughty man in front of her. “You really are messed up, aren’t you?” she said.
“Aw, poor Wendy is upset,” Niall mocked, poking his bottom lip out.
Louis snapped his finger at Niall. “Stop,” he said. Niall glanced over him curiously.
“Just forget it,” Fallon said, looking down at the ground. “Don’t try to talk to me again. We do the play, that’s it.” She looked up one more time and locked eyes with his. There was still that little flame of the Louis she was just speaking to glowing in his eyes. She hoped her words were reaching that small part of him. “I should have known I wasn’t any different than those other girls. I knew you were lying.” With those final words, she stormed passed him and climbed back down the stairs. Before she knew it, she was running. She sprinted through the auditorium, passed Arlie, and out the door.
She knew better than to believe his lies. Her heart had been crushed, just like she had been terrified of. He had let her crash down, just like she had thought of. He had just been lying to her to get in her pants, like every other girl that he sweet-talked to bed.
All Fallon knew was that she wanted to get this play over with as quick as possible. She wouldn’t fall for his tricks again.