Clarity

A soft yawn escaped her lips, the dryness of her throat erupted a loud cough. Covering her mouth, she slowly sat up as her hand felt the edge, opening her eyes she noticed that she slept near the foot of the bed, cradled in one area. Shifting in her large shirt that she wore for bed, she noticed her feet still covered in gauze.

She needed to switch from gauze to Band-Aids which would be easier to manage. Swinging her feet off the bed, the momentum propelled her to the bathroom where she saw the several packets sitting on the countertop, right where she left them. Picking up a few, she slowly peeled the seals off as her mind tried to fully awake, only taking a few moments once she splashed her face with water.

Xianghua noticed her face free of make-up, she winced at her haggard appearance, she cried a little over the course of the night once she returned home with the help of Benedict. Her eyes softened at the thought of his rescue, he truly is a great man and friend.

She is touched by his actions, sitting with her through the night until she felt good enough to fall asleep. Not knowing if he left after she fell into slumber, she twisted her hair away from her face, pinning it to the crown, adding a few clips to the strands that fell down her face.

Going through her normal routine, she scrubbed the excess dirt and grim from her face using facial wash. The grapefruit scent filled her nostrils as she thoroughly washed, observing her pale face she felt a lack of color without foundation, blush, and lipstick. Once she got dressed, she started on her make-up to feel more complete and content with herself. Giving a smile in the mirror, she now walked out of the bedroom and into the small hallway.

Xianghua froze in her steps as she noticed the tall familiar figure of her friend situating plates of food on her table. Staying in complete silence, Ben looked frightened when he looked up to see her standing there. He laughed amused with her silent padding around the house, “You frightened me, and for once I am starting to believe you are some sort of hobbit.”

Blinking, she took couple of steps towards him as she noticed that breakfast sandwiches, tots and orange juice were displayed. “I’m no cook so I thought I would get something for us to eat.” A sheepish smile crept on his lips as she stood abnormally quiet. Tilting his head to get a better look at her, he saw her eyes gloss over as she blinked slowly to get rid of the tears.

“You didn’t have to do this.” Touched by his kind gesture, her arms naturally wrapped around his form, stunning him; Ben stood there for a moment before doing the same. “How can I be so lucky?” She mumbled into his jacket, his hand gently soothing her back.

“I wanted to. You sure you’re alright?”

Giving him a nod, she sat down thanking him for the meal. The cheesy meat mixed with orange juice had her stomach humming in happiness. Swinging her feet childishly, she talked with Ben as if they were friends. It felt like it usually did before everything went out of control and a level of comfort eased between them.

Ben’s heart fluttered seeing her lips curved into that beautiful smile, he never noticed the small tendencies she had when talked with him. Such as biting the corner of her lip when she listened to him speak how she fought against laughing at his rambling moments of excitement or when her jaw twitched when she disagreed with something he says. Every little detail he has begun to take notice.

“Thank you. It was delicious.” Patting her stomach contently.

“You’re welcome; it took me all morning to make them.” He joked.

Xianghua hummed, “For breakfast sandwiches? You must be dreadful at cooking then.”

“The worst.” He smiled. “I almost destroyed a kitchen once with my level of expertise.” He chuckled when she leaned in with excitement asking for details. Ben flushed pink as he relived the memory with her; he wanted to do a simple dessert dish thinking that dessert will be the easier course to do out of all. Not expecting the flames to explode, it expanded towards the curtains and seared most of the curtains before he could put it out.

Laughter belted from her lips as his expressions dramatically changed as he retold the story. He laughed along with her as he challenged her, “I know you had a kitchen disaster once in your life. You can’t be an expert without mishaps.”

“I never said I was a good cook.” Xianghua scrunched up her nose in disbelief.

Benedict chortled, “You don’t need to. You’re a natural homemaker.” Xianghua raised a brow at the word, she isn’t too familiar with the term, but she has heard it from time to time from her American friends.

“What does that mean?”

“What does what mean?” A part of him wished she wouldn’t want to explore the misplaced word that he spewed and it all came crashing down when she asked again. Clearing his throat, he explained that a homemaker is usually the role of a woman that stays home taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning, and things of that nature.

Xianghua only scrunched her brows, “I take that as a compliment?” She patted his shoulder giving him a tease saying if he applied himself he can be an amazing homemaker as well. Collecting her trash, she crushed it into a ball, “Did you even go home?” It was then she saw the clothes he was wearing yesterday is severely wrinkled as if he slept in them and still were a mess like when he showed up to meet up with her.

Benedict shook his head, “I wanted to make sure you were alright…I didn’t want to leave you alone at the state you were in.” He knew Ingrid is one of the few people that can truly damage her with only her words, her bitterness easily cutting her like butter.

Her expression changed drastically, grim and distant as she thought of the pleas and anger behind the voice of her sister. Even with the extended invitation, she still hasn’t called back which could only mean one thing, Ingrid lied to her. If she truly needed somewhere to stay then she would without a doubt barged into her home last night, banging on the door, demanding her to let her in.

None of that happened and with a questionable look at Ben, it only clarified that she didn’t come. Sighing, she rubbed her temple muttering she didn’t know what to do.

“Just focus on yourself, if she truly needs help there is no doubt she will call you. Don’t monitor her thinking she will want help; she’ll come when she wants to. No need to force it.”

Ben is right and she needed to remind herself of that. Xianghua always stood behind Ingrid, waiting for her to fall or countlessly asking if she needed help and because of that habit, Ingrid in turn started to come up with excuses of not being able to support herself, feeding her lies about sob stories and Xianghua not hesitating to give her money. After a while, Xianghua caught on when speaking with her mother who candidly told her of the numerous of times Ingrid would go to her house wearing expensive clothing way out of her price range.

Putting two and two together, she stopped the financial support even if it pained her when Ingrid stomped her feet like a child screaming that she was finally getting on her feet until Xianghua ruined her.

Watching the swirling emotions, Ben placed his hand over hers; gently reassuring her that everything is going to be okay. He wanted to distract her and he knew remembered what he set up months prior, Ben had high hopes of reuniting with Xianghua and if all else failed he would extend the invitation to someone else.

Suggesting that they leave, Xianghua didn’t question him as they left after gathering her necessities. Taking confident steps in her heels, Ben wondered how she always managed to not break an ankle at her sharp turns and short runs to catch up to people. He has seen her stumble, don’t get him wrong that she is flawless when it comes to heels and usually he managed to catch her from a nasty fall.

Instinctively when he saw her wearing heels, which is all the time, he looped his arm with hers to maintain her balance. Xianghua gave him a kind smile as they walked out of her flat. Taking a cab, they ventured to his home where he distracted her until the time came.

Xianghua noticed him constantly glancing at the clock, she managed to spew out, “Is there somewhere you need to be?”

Giving her a look of confusion, he shook his head, “No, actually I have something planned for the both of us. You can always decline or take someone else…” He paused to gather up his nerve to ask her, his heart pounding harshly in his chest as his stomach tumbled. “I managed to get tickets for fashion week and I was wondering if you want to be my plus one?”

It took a minute for her to process, “Fashion…week?” How long has it been since she has been to those types of events, all these years she has been dodging anything fashion wise due to her credibility in that world. Flashbacks of working hectically around those types, pulling her hair out and in tears because of the cold remarks she would get from her colleagues. Those were trying times, but seeing the hopeful eyes of Ben—

He is trying so hard to connect with her, to have them back on that level of comfort and friendship beforehand. She is deeply touched by his gestures so far and she will push passed her fear of running into someone from her previous career to be with Ben.

“I love to. Thank you so much.” Xianghua forced a smile before she glanced down at her outfit. “Do I have time to change?”

“You’re beautiful the way you are.”

Blushing deeply, she didn’t think she is fashion week worthy, she’s not wearing any of her designer clothes and when she expressed her concerns, Ben bluntly told her that she is wearing her own designs; she is a designer, is she not? Xianghua fought back a negative response, picking at the hem of her dress.

In all honesty, she shouldn’t care what she wore; she’s not in the business anymore. The pressure of designer clothes and making a statement were over. Blankly looking at Ben, she questioned, “Are you going to change?”

It wasn’t long before the two left for the show, nerves started to bundle inside of her like they did before. How could she forget the press? They are going to have a field day with her tagging along with Benedict as his plus one, thankfully her relationship with Chris isn’t announced publically so horrendous rumors wouldn’t transpire.

Ben gave her shoulder another squeeze of reassurance as they slowly made their way into the entrance; Xianghua felt the butterflies furiously thrashing one another as throngs of people moved around. Hoping not to get lost in the sea of people, she held onto Ben’s arm tightly, who in turned gave her a soft smile as he escorted them to their seats. She didn’t know what to expect when everyone started filling in the seats.

In the back of her mind, a small glimmer of hope clutched to her heart thinking she could sit in the back completely invisible. Then she remembered the status of her dear friend and her stomach dropped several feet as they approached near the front. Her nails dug deeply into his sleeve, partially hiding her body with his as they shifted towards the front after mutters of apologies circled around.

Feeling entirely exposed with the runway only a few feet in front of her, she let go of his sleeve when he showed her their seats near the middle. Patting the seat next to him, she slowly took it as her eyes roamed the facility crossing her fingers that she didn’t come across anyone that she knew.

“Don’t be nervous, everything is going to be fine. Relax and enjoy yourself.” Ben whispered in her ear, feeling the intimacy of his lips so close to her ear made her cheeks flush. Overall, he is right. She shouldn’t worry and enjoy what he has done for her.

It didn’t take long for others to join them and the familiar tones mixed well as Benedict introduced her to several of his friends. After a while, she slowly disengaged herself from the conversation having the time to be to herself as Ben immersed himself further. Sitting up straight, she felt eyes on her front across the catwalk and the whispers only made it worse. Xianghua felt disheartened suddenly feeling those stares meant for her or possibly for her.

“I wouldn’t worry about that lot, much of pricks if I may say so myself.” The light British accent sent her for a whirl as she turned her head to the side to recognize the familiar blonde in one of her beloved shows. The crystal blue eyes that burned through a telly screen, confidence raging through.

Xianghua tried not to squeal in excitement realizing that Natalie Dormer is sitting next to her. “Uh, thanks?” her voice went up an octave, blushing profusely; she tightened her lips as she cast her gaze elsewhere.

Natalie chuckled, “No need to be shy, darling. I’m guessing you’re a fan?” The look on Xianghua’s face said it all and only having the proper knowledge of nodding, she did so. The blonde only smirked before introducing herself, “I’m Natalie. What’s your name?”

“Xianghua.”

“Xianghua? What a lovely name—you look oddly familiar.”

Biting her lower lip, she explained, “I was in the fashion industry years ago and I hand delivered a few dresses from Madrid’s collection.” Natalie beamed in recognition, snapping her fingers in excitement.

“Yes! Of course! Do you still work for him?”

“No, I’m a personal assistant.”

“Oh? For whom if I may ask?” She quirked a brow, her transparent blue eyes darted behind her before returning. “Possibly your boyfriend? Sitting next to you?” She clarified when the flash of shock surged through her; suddenly it changed to embarrassment as Xianghua clearly stated that her and Ben are just friends. “Pity, I think you lot looked adorable walking in together.”

Quickly Natalie one from one subject to another, gushing about the design Xianghua is wearing and demanding she tell her where she got it. When she discovered it was Xianghua’s own creation, it all spiraled out of control as praise relentlessly thrown her way.

It seems that Natalie is a natural of keeping a conversation going as Xianghua found herself turning in her seat to focus more on Natalie. The two chatted before the lights dimmed and the show started. Natalie pointed at the one she loved, asking Xianghua for her ‘professional’ opinion and slowly Xianghua pointed out which ones she loved most.

Ben noticed Natalie becoming quick friends with Xianghua. It didn’t surprise him that the two got on so quickly given the fact that Natalie chatted with everyone on set when they filmed together. Letting the two have their moment, his eyes focused on the show in front of him.

Near the end, Natalie placed her phone in Xianghua’s hand pleading they should exchange numbers to keep in contact. They have become the best of friends as Natalie proclaimed. After exchanging numbers, Natalie gave her a tight hug, “I’ll ring you later and we can have that girl’s day we talked about. See you later, Xi! Ben!”

Xianghua stood there in disbelief, “Did that really happen?”

Ben laughed, lopped his arm around her shoulders, letting others walk pass them. “It really did and I saw that you enjoyed yourself.”

“I did. Thank you for taking me.” Bringing him to an embrace before he is told her that he had to do a small interview that he promised to do. Xianghua understood and she told him that she will wait for him after she returns from the loo. Giving her the location of where he will be, they separated after she reassured him that she knew where it was given she used to work there.

Weaving through people, giving them forceful smiles and apologies, she finally made it to the loo only to see there was a long line. Rethinking her strategy, she wandered off to a smaller bathroom that is less noticeable and guarantees there to be no line.

Grinning when she saw only several people in this line, she waited until it was her turn. When she finished, she walked out of the loo relieved and decided to walk the long way around to waste more time. Half way around, there were a group of women standing in a circle, drinking champagne from what she can see, toasting and smiling happily? Xianghua remembered those days, after the show was over, the concerns and worries vanished only a sense of accomplishment coursed through her.

And then one strategically looked her way, Xianghua felt the blood drain from her face as she recognized the woman. Standing there over six feet tall including the stilettos she is wearing, onyx hair curled beautifully around her face and a skin tight dress that modestly covered her tall frame.

“Xixi?” Narrowed green eyes gazed upon her as Xianghua froze as the two stared at one another. As if they rehearsed it, all the women spun on their heels to face her. Recognition flashed through her features before she smirked, placing a hand on her hip. “I never thought I would see your face around these parts again. What brings you here?” The deep caramel skin glowed leaving Xianghua feel inadequate remembering the blemishes she had to cover up this morning.

“A f-friend decided to bring me.” Taking a large gulp, she forced herself to look into those eyes as she said, “It’s nice to see you again, Keeva.”

“I can’t say the same for you.” Keeva slowly started to approach her, her heels clicking on the tile floor making her heart pound harder with each step. Xianghua took one small step back, Keeva grin grew wider as she held her glass of champagne close to her. “I thought I told you not to show your face here again after what you’ve done.”

A flash of hurt crossed her features, as she stumbled through her words, “I never did anything-”

“Never did—you slept with my boyfriend to gain fame! What you wanted was that fifteen seconds of fame to rocket launch yourself as an independent designer! What you did was selfish and I don’t feel sympathy for you when Madrid fired you. It was well deserved and to quote him, you…are…not…welcomed.” Her voice dripping with venom, Keeva whipped her glass across Xianghua’s face to splash the rest of her champagne at her.

Xianghua gasped, fluttering her eyes as she heard heels clicking along with Keeva’s to only feel more champagne being dumped on her. Her dress is drenched by the end of their attack and left here to sulk. A small whimper escaped her, tears filling her eyes as she whispered, “It wasn’t my doing.”

Stumbling into the bathroom again, she ignored the other women as she patted herself with paper towels as much as possible, sniffling. She felt absolutely sticky and when her thighs stuck together, she had a look of disgust on her face when she felt her skin pull apart. In haste, she exited the bathroom with dry eyes and made for Ben. In some way, he will provide that level of comfort.

As much as she would prefer Chris to be there to hold her as she cried uncontrollably, she couldn’t. Only speaking of the matter won’t work at this moment, she needed human contact and Ben is the only one close enough to provide it.

It didn’t take long for her to find Ben, he stood there spinning around in a circle as if he has been looking for her. His features held concern only for it to increase when he saw her. Having her walk towards him, he smelled the strong scent of champagne on her; he asked if she was alright.

“Can you take me home?” Softly muttering, Ben complied not going harassing her on what happened. When he touched her, he felt his hand stick to her skin, he frowned.

The ride to her home was silent and so many thoughts crossed his mind. There is no doubt that someone harassed her and the more he thought about it, it became clear it had to be someone in the fashion business. He then remembered the dozens of people she worked with and for all of them to turn on her after a scandal broke out. Ben remembered the headlines, he didn’t know Xianghua personally then, but when she sent out resumes for a job, he gave her a chance after meeting with her.

He didn’t know firsthand of how brutal the media can be when a scandal comes out, but he knew people who have.

Taking those quiet steps to her flat, Xianghua fished for her keys only stopping a few feet from her door when Ben said her name in a cautious tone. Looking up in confusion, she saw that her door is slightly opened, her lock clearly smashed in and chipped.

Naturally taking steps back towards Ben, he stepped forward telling her to stay outside while he looked around. Xianghua felt panic settle into her stomach as she thought of the worst and when he allowed her to walk in, she fell on her knees to see most of her flat has been wiped clean.