Let Live Again

Alan and I rode in his car together, making what seemed to be a long drive to his apartment. He tried to make small talk and I obliged to it. As we spoke, I picked up a few facts about him. He was in a band and was a guitarist, he loved cats, he had an insane love for sushi, and that he was one of the most sincere people I had ever met. When I spoke, he actually listened. He took the information in and determined an appropriate response before he spoke. I actually liked him.

He pulled into a parking space outside an apartment complex and he killed his engine, looking over at me. "Welcome to casa de Ashby." he wiggled his fingers towards a door. I let out a laugh and shook my head.

"I think you're crazy and I've only known you fifteen minutes."

"I get that a lot." he snickered, opening up the door. I opened mine and got out also, following him up the path to his door. He fumbled with his keys, then found the right one, sticking it in the keyhole and unlocked the door. He pushed it open, taking a step inside and brought me in with him. "You can take my room for tonight."

"No, Alan, I'll sleep on your couch. It's fine, really. I know you're trying to be a good host, but please." I looked up at him, hoping he didn't try to argue.

"I respect your wishes." he nodded. "Can I at least give you a shirt and a blanket to sleep with?"

"Of course. I won't object to that."

He gave me a small smile before he disappeared into a room, coming back a few minutes later with a plain black t-shirt and some shorts. "Here you go. The bathroom is right over there for you to change in. I'll find you a blanket while you change." he said, handing me the clothes.

I took them and held them to me. "Thank you." I mumbled, walking to his bathroom. I shut the door and locked it behind me, changing into the clothes he had gave me. They were extremely loose and baggy on me. I folded up the clothes that I was wearing and sat them on a shelf by some towels where I could find them in the morning. I also took facial tissues and wet them under the faucet, removing my make up. I tossed them into the trash and took one last look at myself. I still had a cut lip, my lip was still swollen, and my blue eyes were glassy. I pushed back my dark hair and walked out of the bathroom, finding him laying out a blanket.

"Here you go." he pointed to the sofa.

"Thank you, again. I don't think I can thank you enough."

"Don't worry about it."

"But I will." I said, sitting down on the sofa and pulled the blanket over my legs. "Can I ask something more of you?"

"Of course." he nodded, looking down at me.

"Stay up awhile longer and talk to me? I don't want to be alone."

He sat down at the end of the sofa, pulling my feet into his lap. "I won't go until you don't feel alone anymore. What do you want to talk about?"

"Anything."

"Are you from around here?"

"No, I'm from Connecticut." I said in a low voice.

"What brought you to Huntington?" he asked, playing with my toe.

I looked at him funny for a moment, then shrugged off the feeling of his hands on my feet. "I was going to Crescent City with Robby to see old friends of his. We were crossing this way to go to LA, but I obviously didn't make it that far."

"I see. I just don't think that it was very right of him to leave you like that. At a gas station? Really? That upsets me."

"I'm not surprised that he did it. He hated having me as a carry along, Alan. He hated me." I whispered, looking away from him sadly.

"Then why were you with him?" he replied, keeping a hard gaze on me and started to rub my swollen ankles.

I sighed, sitting up a little so I could look at him. My lips trembled as I attempted to speak. "Have you ever been in a position where you were afraid? Afraid to make any sudden decision that could change your life drastically in a matter of seconds? That's what it was like with him. I am afraid of him and what he's capable of. I was afraid to leave, not knowing what move he'd pull on me. I got beat for little things. Imagine that he could of done worse to me if I actually tried to leave him." I stopped, wiping my eyes. "If I would talk back to him, I got smacked. How else do you think I got this cut on my lip, or my swollen cheekbones, or all my bruises on my body? I was just afraid to leave him and possibly face being beaten to death. So him leaving me was the better thing, though I hate being alone. He's all I had. But now I know that being left behind is something that I seem to be best at. I can't change that either."

I wiped my eyes again, looking back up at him. I had just spilled my fears to a guy I barely knew. He nodded and kept eye contact while taking in all the information. I trusted Alan with this, but what if it was a little too soon to even let him in on that? The only way I'd know was based on what he did or said next.

"I don't ever want to let anyone hurt you again. I don't care if I have to keep you held hostage here so I know you're safe. But what makes you think that?"

I let out a soft laugh as another tear fell down my face. "I've been left so many times in my life. My parents left me at a young age. I was sent to live with my grandmother and she just recently passed away, shortly after my eighteenth birthday. I was old enough to be on my own, but Robby took me in. That's when things got bad. He started beating me then. And that's when I realized I didn't love him."

"You don't deserve that. I promise you, you could start over here in Huntington, and not even have to worry about being left ever again. I mean, you've got me to start out with. I have friends, they have friends, their friends have friends.. I think you get it though. Point is, stay here. Start over here. It's way better to start out in a new place away from those toxins you just left."

"Really?"

"Of course." he nodded. "I'll prove that to you tomorrow. But for now, get you some sleep. You look like you're about to drop over any time now."

"Oh thanks." I snorted a little, hugging onto the pillow and moved my feet, letting Alan up. "Night."

"Goodnight, Jace. Shit, I can call you that, right?!" he stood, looking at me panicked.

"Of course." I giggled softly, resting my cheek on the pillow. "Night Alan."

"Alright good," he leaned down, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "sleep well."

"You too." I whispered, watching him walk into his room, shutting the door behind him. I blushed red as soon as I knew he was gone and I buried my face into the pillow. I laid there for awhile before shutting my eyes, falling asleep.