Let Live Again

I stood by the door, watching rain trickle onto the sidewalk in front of Alan's house. I was anticipating Alan's arrival. Just at any minute, he could be pulling up and he could be home for the first time in four months. After warped tour, a European tour took both of us by surprise and made our one week apart turn into two more long months. I could have joined them, but Austin was still be hostile. Yeah, two months and he's still pissed off at me.

And not to mention on top of things, I was pregnant and I was now starting to show. Alan still didn't have any kind of clue about it either. Telling him was the part I was dreading most. I didn't know how to tell him or how he would even take it after I told him. I was just a nervous mess and it was showing.

It was showing worse now that a car pulled up to the curb. A door opened and out came a head full of red hair, damp and stuck to his face because of the rain. He pulled his hood up and went to the trunk, pulling out his bags and waved goodbye to the driver of the car. He turned around and began slowly walking up the sidewalk. At this point, I couldn't handle it anymore. I tugged the fabric of my shirt that was clinging to my bump away and opened the door, taking a few long strides until we both collided. He dropped his bags on the wet sidewalk and his arms snaked around my body. "God I've missed you." he mumbled into my now damp hair.

"I've missed you too. So much." I smiled, putting kisses on his lips. It then began to pour down and I shrieked, pulling away from him and ran to the safety of his doorway. He laughed and picked up his bags quickly, joining me now in the living room.

He put his bags down on the floor and sat down on the sofa. He pulled me into his lap and pressed his lips into mine. "It's so good to be home."

"It's so good to have you home." I mumbled softly, running my fingers through his soft hair.

He hung his head a little so that his face was perfectly in the crook of my neck. There, he began to kiss little lines around my neck. He then found my sweet spot, causing me to let out a satisfied moan. Before I knew it, he was trying to take my shirt off. I smacked his fingers, telling him no. He pouted, pulling back to look at me. "But I just got home, baby."

"I'm self conscious about taking my shirt off right now, Alan." I say, looking down.

"Why?"

"Make me a promise."

"What am I promising?" he raised an eyebrow.

"That you won't be mad at me." I bit my lip, watching his reaction.

He processed it for a second and he began to nod slowly. "Okay, I promise. Now what is it?"

"You remember the day I told you we needed to go for a walk but it ended badly?"

"How could I not forget?" he rolled his eyes a little. "But yes, go on."

"Well the reason I had brought you out on that walk was to tell you this important news. While you guys were out at your signings, I was thinking about stuff.. I saw a box of condoms in your bunk and it made me realize that we had a lot of unprotected sex and that my period was late. I went to the store and got a pregnancy test and it came back positive and such and I was going to tell you but I was so afraid and I'm sorry Alan, but I'm pregnant." I quickly blurted out, feeling my eyes begin to water.

Through my glassy vision, I could see Alan's face look pale white and half scared to death. Tears started to fall harder now and I couldn't contain myself. I got up from his lap, running to the bedroom and shut the door behind me. I laid down on his bed and silently cried to myself. A few minutes later, I heard him open the door and his feet padding across the carpet until he was over to me. I looked up, seeing his face looking sincere.

"So we're having a baby? This means we need a bigger house, we need to pick out names, we need a nursery.. Fuck! What else do we need?" he asked me, taking me by surprise.

A smile curled up on my lips and I shook my head. "Nothing right now. All we need is you."

He grinned and crawled in bed with me, putting his tattooed hand on my stomach, rubbing around the little bump sticking out between my hips. "I love you." he kissed my nose. "Wait no, I love you both."

"And we love you too, Alan." I smiled, kissing his lips repeatedly.