All Kinds of Time

Gerard and Frank were only half-concentrating at the science museum, trailing behind Oliver and Joshua as they pressed their faces against glass exhibition cabinets. They mainly spent their time muttering about doctor’s appointments when Joshua and Oliver were out of earshot.

“Dad, Dad!” Oliver called, coming over and dragging Frank with him to look at a massive light bulb that could only turn on if you cycled fast enough on the bicycle it was attached to. Gerard kept an eye on Joshua, who was on his tip-toes and had his nose up against a showcase explaining how loudspeakers worked, even though he was only just learning how to read. All Gerard really wanted to do was lie down and sleep for a bit and not have to think about anything, but instead he was on his feet in the over-heated museum while having to make sure his sons weren’t running into people or hurting themselves.

“Daddy, what does this say?” Joshua asked loudly. Gerard wandered over and bent over slightly to read it.

“It’s about sound waves, Sweetheart. That’s how sound moves.” Gerard explained to the four year old. Joshua frowned but kept his face pressed against the glass, watching a speaker vibrate slowly.

“But how can it move if you can’t see it?” Joshua asked, his face in a cute moue of confusion. Gerard rubbed his forehead.

“You can’t see the waves because they’re tiny.” Gerard said, dragging out the ‘y’ and moving his fingers close together to demonstrate just how small they were.

“Are they smaller than bees?” Joshua asked, eyes still fixed on the display.

Gerard tried to contain his laughter. “They’re millions of times smaller than bees, Josh.”

Joshua finally turned around with his eyes wide. “But bees are so small, Daddy.” He exclaimed.

Gerard laughed and kissed the top of his head. “I know!”

After a while Frank came over and wove his fingers in between Gerard’s, squeezing his hand lightly and then leaving his fingers there.

“I feel bad about Grant having to push back seeing his friend.” Gerard sighed as they walked past a few vaguely interesting exhibits.

“And he offered to look after the boys while we go to the clinic.” Frank added. “He’s done so much for us.”

Gerard kissed Frank on the lips and they wandered around behind their children.

*

They arrived back at Grant’s in the afternoon, the boys with an ice-cream dripping down their fingers in one hand and a brightly coloured windmill from the museum in the other. They used the spare keys that Grant had given them to let themselves in. When they reached the living room, they saw that Grant had his friend over.

“Ah. Mike, this is Gerard and Frank and their children, Oliver and Joshua. Gerard was the one who collaborated with me last year and is doing some panels for JLA right now.” Grant said, introducing them. Joshua shied back, leaning against Frank’s leg as the stranger stood up.

“...Umbrella Academy, right?” He asked Gerard, reaching out to shake his hand, which Gerard took. “I’m Mike. I work with Grant a lot.”

“Yes! You did...Batman with him? Am I right?” Gerard asked as Mike shook Frank’s hand.

“Completely.” He smiled, bending down to say hello to Oliver, who was enthusiastic to greet him, the only restraint being Gerard due to all the ice cream he had on his hands, which he was sure that Mike didn’t want on his face. Joshua continued to hide, clinging onto Frank as Mike introduced himself.

“We’re going to go now, we’ll be back in an hour, hopefully.” Gerard said, hugging Grant. “Thank you, again.”

“No problem, really.” Grant said. “Good luck.”

Gerard and Frank raised a hand to Mike to say goodbye and then departed, following the instructions that Grant gave them to get to the nearest clinic, which was around a fifteen minute drive. Frank drove while Gerard sat in the passenger seat with his leg shaking nervously.

Frank sighed as he parked the car in the clinic's car park. “Look, G, best case scenario today, it’ll have been a false positive and we can go back and enjoy our holiday. Worst case scenario, it’ll confirm what we already know which we can seek help with when we get home, okay? So stop freaking yourself out.”

Gerard took a deep breath and rubbed his hand over his face. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right, I guess.” With that he swung his legs out of the car and Frank helped him up. Together, hand in hand, they walked up to the reception desk in the clinic.

“Appointment booked under Iero?” Frank asked at the desk while Gerard gripped his hand.

The woman behind the desk flicked her eyes down to look at her computer screen for a second before nodding at them. “Yes, if you take a seat over there and wait to be called for by Doctor Williams.”

They wandered over to the waiting area only to discover that there were children’s toys everywhere, provided by the clinic, for children to play with while their parents waited. It only helped to increase the constant pounding Gerard had in his head.

“Iero?” A tall, dark haired, handsome doctor called. Gerard’s eyebrows raised dramatically as he saw him but schooled his face quickly when Frank glanced at him. They got up and followed the doctor into a small room off the main waiting area and sat down while he walked behind his desk.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Williams.” He said, to which they both greeted.

“Ok, so which one of you is here to be tested for pregnancy?” He asked, flipping through some sheets of paper. Gerard and Frank glanced at each other.

“Me.” Gerard said at the same time as Frank said “Gerard”.

The doctor nodded. “Have you done any home tests yet?” He asked, looking up from his papers.

“Yes, and they’ve all been positive. We’ve taken five, I think.” Gerard said, feeling Frank’s hand squeeze around his own.

“Right, so hopefully this result shouldn’t be a surprise to you.” The doctor said.

“Um. It shouldn’t, but my doctor told me I was infertile about six weeks ago. So all these results are kind of a surprise for us.” Gerard admitted. The doctor’s eyebrows shot up and he blinked.

“That’s definitely very strange. Well, I’ll test for pregnancy and also test health of the womb and your hormones to see if you’ve been misdiagnosed, which I would have thought of as unlikely but looks like the most possible explanation.” He said. “So if you’d just like to jump on the table, I’ll take a blood sample.”

Gerard gave the doctor a quick smile and climbed onto the table with Frank’s help. Gerard swung his legs aimlessly while he waited for Doctor Williams to gather up the testing equipment.

“Ok.” The doctor said, picking up the needle, “I’d recommend looking away while I do this.”

Gerard squeezed his eyes shut and grasped onto Frank’s hand as he felt the needle push into his upper arm. After a few seconds, the doctor said he was done and packed up the sample.

“I’m going to send this to our lab now and while we’re waiting for the results, I can check your fertility. I’ll give you this gown to get changed into so that I can take a look at the lining of the womb when I get back.” He said, handing Gerard an ominous pale green gown and leaving the room.

Gerard stared at it distastefully before handing it to Frank while he wriggled out of his jeans and top and kicked off his shoes. Once Frank helped him into the gown, he also took off his boxer-briefs too, grimacing in discomfort.

“It feels fucking weird, being naked in a place that isn’t home.” Gerard grumbled, sitting up on the table. Frank made a sympathetic noise and kissed him, running a hand up and down his back until the doctor came back.

“So the pregnancy test results should be ready in half an hour, so while we’re waiting I can check the health of the womb. I think we’re probably hoping that you’ve been misdiagnosed.” Doctor Williams said, snapping on a pair of gloves. “If you could just lie back on the table and have your feet flat on the bed for me...”

Gerard obliged while Frank dragged his seat over to the bed and held his hand again as the doctor slowly probed him with a swab. Gerard held his breath and squeezed Frank’s hand tighter until the swab was removed.

“So with this and the blood sample I can take a look at your fertility. You can either wait in the waiting room for half an hour or we can give you a call and you can come in tomorrow.” Doctor Williams said, stripping off his gloves.

Gerard glanced at Frank. “We’ll wait here for the results.”

The doctor smiled and stood up. “Well I’ll come out to get you in half an hour and I’ll leave you now to get dressed.”

“Thank you.” Frank said, smiling at him as the doctor left the room.

*

They had been sitting in the waiting room for forty minutes when the doctor came out again and beckoned them to his room.

Once they were seated, he said, “Well, the good news is that you are definitely pregnant - five weeks, in fact.”

Gerard exhaled and nodded, glancing at Frank. “That’s...well, it’s good to have confirmation, I guess.”

The doctor nodded. “Yes, yes.” He shuffled through some papers. “The, ah, slightly less good news is that, from the swab I took and your blood sample...well, it looks like you weren’t misdiagnosed.”

Gerard and Frank paused for a few seconds. “What?” Gerard finally asked.

The doctor looked up at them. “From the samples that I took, your egg count is low. Non-existent, practically. Your womb is...well, you have the womb of someone infertile. So this foetus must have been the act of a miracle, a coincidental accident, whichever term you want to choose. But the main point is that it’s going to make your pregnancy difficult. Without a healthy womb lining, the baby could struggle to develop. I’m not trying to put you off keeping the child, but I think it’s important that you know the risks before you decide on anything permanent.”

There was a silence and Gerard blinked rapidly, rubbing at his eyes.

“How long are you on holiday here?” The doctor asked, scribbling on a piece of paper.

Frank cleared his throat. “Until the end of next week.”

“In this case I would recommend visiting your doctor as soon as possible when you arrive home, and he should be able to give you a scan by that point, and so you will then be able to make a decision. I can give you some prescriptions for vitamins to pick up while you’re here, but other than that there’s not much I can do.” The doctor said. Gerard and Frank were still shellshocked.

“Yeah. Yeah, we’ll book an appointment when we get back.” Gerard nodded, taking the prescription.

“You should be fine for the plane journey back, but I would advise to take it easy until you see your doctor, and try your best not to think about it until you see your doctor too. While it’s good to be aware, these things can cause unnecessary stress.” The doctor said, standing up to see them out.

“Thank you for your time.” Frank said as the doctor led them out of the clinic. Gerard remained rigid until they got into the car, when he slumped down and closed his eyes.

“Frank.” Gerard whispered in a strangled voice. Frank got out of the drivers seat and sat on Gerard’s side, pulling Gerard into his lap and holding him while he sobbed into Frank’s shoulder.