You Know That I'm Right.

It was a bad habit that I desperately had tried to kick for months now. But the cigarette was still there between my fingers and the pack in my pocket. It was another hard night, they hadn't shown up for a few weeks now but now that I was slowly settling here in Lake Bluff and Lake Forest it came back like an itch I couldn't scratch away. Nick was away for the weekend with the team and I didn't know anyone else around here that much. I only talked to a few people in class and ate with Nick and a few of his friends but I never connected with any of them. I liked football but it wasn't all I wanted to talk about, some doesn't seam to have anything in their head but their hobby. The street was quiet and dark. Only a row of houses facing Lake Michigan and the somewhat park gave light and it wasn't much. Aunt Willow didn't like me smoking in the garden or the driveway. The smell lingered on the flowers she said. I didn't blame her really for not liking me smoking, I didn't like it myself. Her first husband who she met in high school had died from lung cancer thanks to his smoking. After that she met her current husband and quickly moved away from her hometown in Alabama here to the Chicago suburb of Lake Bluff and or Lake Forest however you see it. It was basically the same town in my opinion.
When I had finished my first cigarette and moved down the street coming closer to the last few houses I was tired of the constant drop in my mood. You weren't supposed to lose your parents when you're 17 and they aren't even 40. They were young parents, they had my older brother when they were only 18 and not even out of high school. However they found their significant other in high school is beyond me.
Just as I was about to light the second cigarette I hear a sound and paused. I hand't seen anyone on the tiny walk here but I could hear someone nearby. It wasn't clear but I heard it. When looking to see if someone was out on their lawn I decided I must have heard wrong. But just then I heard a frustrated sound. It wasn't really a scream or a shout, more of a loud sigh. I turned around and looked into the park. It wasn't completely dark yet so I could still see someone sitting curled up on a park bench.
I've never seen myself as someone who helps other people with their emotions. I push mine away constantly so I wouldn't be the best help. But I wanted to go over and ask, I wanted to make sure someone wasn't feeling as shit as me.
As I reached the bench I saw exactly who it was who was crying her eyes out, Blake.
"Hey, are you alright?" I stopped a bit to the side of the bench and looked at her. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail and she was wearing running clothes. When she looked up she didn't look happy for seeing me.
She sighed and nodded while laughing. I recognized the signs of hiding your emotions and wanting no one to know you had just been crying. I'd been there, but Blake didn't know that since I never told her I'd also lost my parents recently.
Without asking I sat down beside her and I saw how she froze, not expecting me to stay by her.
"I never told you but, my parents passed away a few months ago as well." I didn't know if it would help, but I felt that it was necessary to let her know she wasn't alone in this situation. Blake looked up at me and I could see her red, puffy eyes studying me. Her eyebrows were furrowed together and she looked so, broken and fragile. Something I had realized by now she despited and wanted nothing of.
Blake might shield herself off from the public eye but she was easy to read when you'd been there before.

After a while she spoke up and took me by surprise. I'd gotten used to just sitting there looking at the dark shadows all around us.
"It just sucks." she looked straight forward and then laughed lightly and continued. "I have no better way to put it, and I used to be in the debate team."
"I think it's excellent put, simple and accurate." she laughed again and looked over to me this time.
"Thanks." silence spread again but it was comfortable. Without saying much we calmed each other down. I had no urge to pick up the second cigarette again.
"Wait, do you live around here? Why else would you be here at 10 pm?" she looked up with raised eyebrows.
"Oh, yeah I live down the street. If you recognize Willow , she's my aunt and I live with her and her husband."
"Willow's your aunt? Wait did you come here a lot when you were younger?" her sadness was blown away with curiosity.
"Yeah she moved here when I was around five, we used to visit a few times."
"We used to play together as kids!"
"What? Noway you're the girl down the street who I had a crush o…" she started laughing loud and honest, it wasn't a faked laugh, it was coming from her stomach making her whole body shake. My cheeks were burning but I laughed along, it was so unbelievable. I fell for the same girl twice without knowing.
"Here comes all the secrets. Well I actually crushed a little on you as well to be honest." she smiled and placed her head in her hands, still laughing.
"Oh really? I always thought you crushed on George." we continued laughing and she shook her head slowly, controlling her breathing.
"He was cute, but come on. You were adorable at ten, you even had a little tooth gap and crazy hair."
"Well the hair stuck but thankfully I got braces." our conversation flowed on so effortlessly.
"God it's cold outside." she said suddenly and looked up at the sky. "I should get home because I'm not well dressed for this weather. I'll see you in school." she smiled and for a second it looked like she was going to lean in for a hug but stopped herself and got up from the bench and walked away with another smile.