Be My Escape

Chapter 1

It was three o’clock in the morning when I left my unwelcoming house with only a cell phone, a bottle of pills, and vodka in my hands. I wanted to just walk, nowhere in particular, just walk. And that’s exactly what I did. “Why do I need to be here a-anyways?” I mumbled, holding back the tears I knew were going to come. I soon arrived at what looked to be a park. I sat on the bench out front and put my head in my hands. I popped open the cap to the pills, shook a few into my hand, and downed it with the vodka. It burned my throat, but it eased the pain. I took a few more pills as I heard a familiar voice call out my name.

“Kellin! What are you doing?!”

I looked up to see someone who looked so familiar, but I couldn’t place where I knew them from. “Well, if you must know,” I spat. “I was just getting ready to end it all right now, until I was interrupted.”

“End it? Why? Kellin, you’re 17. You have so much to live for! What’s going on? You know you can talk to me.”

Vic, Vic Fuentes. That’s his name. He went to Warner High School with me, here in San Diego, California. We only had a couple of classes together. “Why would you want to help me? We don’t even talk.”

“No, but that can change. Plus, I can’t just leave someone, knowing they want to end their life. Look, I know we don’t talk much, and you don’t have to tell me anything, but you can talk to me, alright? I know everybody says this, but things will get better.” He said, looking me in the eye.

“Thanks, I guess. But let me ask you something.”

“Alright, shoot.”

“What the hell are you doing in a park at 3 o’clock in the morning?”

“Good question. But I could ask you the same question. There’s a flip side to that coin.” Vic said with a half-smile. His brown eyes twinkled under the street light. He had really pretty, dark eyes. How come I never noticed that before?

“I asked you first though.” I pouted. Why was he even still here? What made him care about me?

“Well I’m not answering until you do and I have all night so… Go on.” He said with a smirk.

“My mom kicked me out, Fuentes. Your turn.” I told him shooting a glare his way in an attempt to stop the onslaught of questions I could see running through his head. It seemed to work as Vic shrugged his shoulders.

“I was bored. I took a walk. We live right up the street and over the hill.” He said, pointing in the opposite direction. “So, what happened that made your mom kick you out?” He asked me cautiously looking at me as though I might blow up.

Suddenly all my emotions came flooding back and I burst in to tears as the memory of the latest argument with my mother came rushing back at me. “T-They t-they t-they” was all I managed to get out before the sobs overtook and I couldn’t get any words out that he could possibly understand.

“Oh! Um, wow, okay.” Vic said placing his arm around my shoulder in a reassuring manner. “Um, whatever it is Kellin, I’m sure it will be okay. Just… Breathe okay?” He mumbled seemingly unsure of how to handle the situation.

As I took deep breathes, gulping in the fresh air around me Vic said, “Why don’t you tell me what happened Kellin… Maybe, maybe it’ll make you feel better?”

“W-Well, it’s sort of a r-really l-long s-story” I said stuttering trying to get a handle on the tears that were still streaming down my face.

Vic reached his hand over and wiped some of the tears off of my face. “I have lots of time Kellin.” He said leaning back into the bench making himself comfortable.

“Well…” I said pausing to think of how I was supposed to tell this story. Even thinking about it was beginning to make me nauseous. “It all started when I was like, two. My family sort of hit a rough patch and my dad bailed on me and my mom. My parents loved each other so my mom took him leaving really bad. She put all the blame on me. I wasn’t allowed to talk about him or anything involving him that might make her think of him. Anytime Dad was mentioned she’d hit me. As I got older the beatings got worse and easier to get. Almost anything had her hitting me. Her losing her job was my fault, her not getting a promotion was my fault; she just made everything my fault.” I said the nauseous feeling getting worse. “I don’t even know what I did this time. My mom was working the night shift and I was asleep when she got home. She walked into my room and yanked me out of my bed by my hair and threw me onto the floor.” I said closing my eyes and picturing the event. It wasn’t hard for my mother to throw me around. I was a thin boy and she was much bigger than me even at seventeen. “Woke me right up that did.” I said with a bitter laugh finally opening my eyes again. “She just started screaming nonsense about how it was my fault, it was always my fault. I think- I think she was drunk. She almost never drinks. She used to be an alcoholic before she met my dad.” I told him barely noticing the stabbing feeling I felt in my stomach. The pain was everywhere but I was so used to ignoring pain that it hardly even fazed me. “She’s never hit me that hard before.” I whispered raising my shirt and using his phone to flash a brighter light on my stomach. I could hear Vic’s gasp at the sight of the bruises, some fresh and black, others faded to a yellow as they healed.

“Kellin…” Vic whispered sitting up and lightly running his fingers across my stomach. I winced slightly from the tender touch causing him to suddenly take his hand away.

“No.” I said quickly. “Please don’t stop. It feels nice to have something so gentle after all the pain.” I said in a rush and looking down to hide the blood flowing to my cheeks after embarrassing myself as I just had.

“I had no idea.” He whispered resuming the feather-like touches along my abdomen.

“No one does.” I responded letting my eyes fall shut at the feeling of his fingers running along the bruises littered across my body.

Suddenly the pain in my stomach multiplied and I hunched forward dry-heaving as the stabbing feeling resumed. I groaned and opened my mouth to vomit just as Vic ran his fingers through my hair to pull it out of my face. The burning sensation rose in my stomach as the bile and vodka came up. “Owwww.” I moaned out letting myself vomit again as Vic continued to hold my hair away from the disgusting substance coming from my body.

Once I knew that everything that could come up was out I slumped against Vic’s chest exhausted from the stress that I had just put on my body.

“Are you alright?” Vic asked still running his hands through my hair and pushing it away from my face.

“I’m fine.” I mumbled trying to stop my hand from clutching my stomach as the pain had intensified still from its feeling early. Finally I gave in to the temptation and grasped my stomach to attempt to stop the pain as I gasped.

“I don’t think you’re fine.” Vic said sounding concerned as he adjusted our position to look at my face. I shook my head and sat up trying to brush his concern off.

“I’m fine.” I responded coughing a bit but otherwise trying to compose myself. Vic didn’t look convinced though. “I am.” I said, biting my lip to stifle the groan threatening to slip as the pain once again heightened.

Vic scrunched his eyebrows as though trying to decide whether to believe me or not. Finally when it was clear he had come to a decision he opened his mouth to say something but I cut across him and said, “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“Oh… It’s fine.” Vic said leaning back against the bench again.

“So… What were you going to say?” I asked him hoping with everything in me that whatever it was wouldn’t be important enough for him to repeat.

“Oh… Nothing important.” Vic said shaking his hair away from his face that told a completely different story. “You’re sure you’re fine though?” he asked looking at my hand that was still clutching at my stomach.

“I’m fine.” I said feeling my face twitch as the pain once again rose in its level.

“I don’t know Kellin…” He said. “Look.. Maybe you should come with…” Vic was saying but his sentences meant little to me as his voice faded and everything around me went black.