Exits and Entrances

Silence. Silence was all Alex could hear when he woke up. He rolled over to his side, the numbers 4.23 glaring luminously in the dark, and pulled the covers to his chest. He hadn’t been sleeping well recently, images of the pale hospital walls, running water, and figures dressed in black had been swirling around his head the second he closed his eyes. He grunted and rolled back to his original position, his hand groping the sheets for his phone. Wincing at the bright screen he logged into his twitter, hoping he could distract himself until he felt remotely tired or until it was earlier enough to get out off bed. Rolling his eyes at the inactiveness on his phone he shuved it back under his pillow, his mind flicking to random thoughts before settling on one. A certain smiling brown haired smiling face, and with that thought he drifted back off into the first dreamless sleep in a while.

The next morning Tay slid into Alex’s car, throwing him a smile as she laughed to the chipper voice of Cassadee on the phone.
“Hey,” She mouthed to him, slipping her seatbelt over herself.
“Morning,”
“No way!” Tay said, getting distracted by the conversation on the phone. Alex slid against the door, tapping his hands on the steering wheel as he waited for her to finish her conversation. Meanwhile Tay giggled at Cass’ chatter but interrupted,
“Hey Cass, I have to go now. Lex is here.”
“Oh, again? I see something going on there!” Cassadee giggled through the phone.
“Yeah, sure, whatever.” Tay said dismissively, “See You Later,” she flipped her phone shut and turned to Alex.
“Hey You,” she grinned with a slight tilt in her head.
“Good Morning Miss Jardine.”
“Sorry about that, I’ve begun to realise that that girl can talk to the ends of the Earth.”
“Oh she can, I don’t know how Rian can put up with her half the time.” He sniggered.
“Rian and Cass are so cute though”
Alex shrugged, “I suppose.”
“You suppose?” Tay laughed, leaning back into her chair. “You’re a heartless boy.”
“Would a heartless boy be offering to take you to school?”
“No,” She raised her eyebrows. “But a stubborn twat who wouldn’t take no as an answer might.”
He grinned at her, “Pretty much.” Suddenly Alex pressed his palm against the steering wheel and an ear piercing beep raced past Tays ears. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “There was a cat in the road.”
She rolled her eyes, turning up the radio and looking out of the window at the people walking the last few metres toward the school Alex just pulled into.
She stepped out the car, and waited for Alex to walk around to her side before walking to the group of people by the steps.

“Hey guys,” Alex greeted them, positioning himself between Tay and Zack. He got a few nods of acknowledgment from the boys who were having an important discussion.
“Look if that’s how long they want us to play then we will!”
“Bloody Hell Jack, we can’t play for that long! We don’t have enough stuff to fucking play!”
“You don’t get the chance often we have to take it! We’ll just play some covers?”
Tay threw Alex a questioning look and he shrugged, “Look, what’s going on?”
Rian jumped in, “Jack got a call this morning and agreed for us to play tonight-”
“Rian shut up for a minute, it’s not everyday you get asked to support fucking Green Day!”
“What?” Tay squealed loudly, quickly covering her mouth as they all stared at her. “Sorry,” she said sheepishly. “But that’s brilliant! Holy shit how did that happen?”
Jack smiled gloatingly at Rian, “See? Tay agrees.”
“Guys!” Alex yelled, “What is going on?”
Zack rolled his eyes, giving the other two a warning look. “The support act for Green Day have had to drop out for tonight because the lead singers mom has gone into hospital. So, the venue manager rang Jack this morning asking if we would fill in and he said yes without asking anyone.”
Alex looked between them, “And the problem is? We’ve been asked to support Green Day,” He said slowly. “Of course he was right to take it up!”
“Fucks Sake Alex, we don’t enough credit to support them!”
“Then this is how we make the credit!”
“You can't just waltz in when they’re expecting a band with shit loads of talent and experiance to go with it!”
“But we have shit loads of talent, and you need to get the experience from somewhere!”
Tay interrupted, “Look guys. I get what you’re both saying, and I know that I'm not even in your bloody band but I really think you should take this.” She threw Rian a warning look, daring him to interrupt. “You may not enough credit to get away with it, but even if this show goes badly for the audience supporting Green Day is a fucking amazing thing to be able to say you’ve done and if that’s not good credit then I don’t know what is.
The boys looked at her slightly shocked, and Jack was the first one to react.
“That was beautiful.” He said with a laugh, slinging his arm over her shoulder. “Anybody want to disagree with Tay here?”
A round of head shaking circled the boys.
Rian grinned, shuving his hands into his pocket. “Mates, we’re fucking supporting Greenday.”

The day passed slowly for the boys as they all wanted to get home and practise a few things before their big show later that night. Tay was happy with running around them with Cassadee giving them words of support when something went wrong. All Time Low had to be at the venue at 5.30 and it was 5.15 when Cassadee ran over to Tay after a brief conversation with Rian and dragged her to the corner.
“Tay, does it hurt?” She asked with a worried smile.
“What?”
“Does it hurt?” She repeated, a smile growing on her face.
“Does what hurt?”
Cassadee rolled her eyes, “Sex.” She blushed slightly, pushing her fringe back.
Tays eyes opened slightly more, “I, umm, I don’t know?”
“Are you a virgin?” Cassadee said suprised.
“Yeah,” Tay said in an obvious voice.
“Oh, well do you think it will hurt?”
“Probably, why?” Tay grinned, “Are you and Rian?”
She nodded giddily, “Friday. He’s taking me out Friday night and I’m staying at his after because his parents are away for the weekend and we’re going to do it.” She breathed loudly.
“Cass this is amazing, I’m so happy for you!” Tay said, squeezing her friends hand.
Cassadee smiled, “Oh Tay it’s going to be perfect I know it!” She squealed, “You have to keep quiet though! I don’t want anyone thinking I’m easy!!”
“You’ve been with Rian for like, two years. I don’t think that classifies as being easy.”
“Yeah, well you’ve known Alex for a week and the sexual tension there is unbearable. Does that make you easy?” She giggled.
“No, because I haven’t had sex with and nor do I plan to sex with him anytime soon.” Tay pointed out.
“But you’re not denying the sexual tension,” Cassadee grinned as Tay shuved her.
“Fuck off Cass,”
“Oi Girls! We’re leaving!” Rian yelled over.
“Coming!” Cassadee yelled.
“Now now Cass, wait til Friday for that language.”
“What... I.. oh my god Tay!” Cassadee screamed, running after her.

“So are you boys ok if we leave you in here and we can come and get you in a bit?” The venue manager said with a smile. “Green Day are having their tech run now but I’m sure they’ll be very eager to meet you and thank you once that’s over.”
Everyone nodded, Tay and Cassadee invading their dressing room.
“Great, I’ll see you later.”
He walked out, his long ponytail bobbing behind him.
Jack turned to everyone grinning, "Guys, we're actually doing this. I told you that all if our practising instead of playing the Xbox would pay off."
"Yeah, but also insist that all babies are from Lebanon so excuse us for ignoring you."
Jack laughed, launching his bottle of water at Zacks head.
They chatted idly, chucking the water bottle between them.
"Hey kids, they've finished if you want to come up?" The pony-tailed venue manager poked his head around the door.
They all grinned making their way up to the stage.
"Oh my gosh," Tay whispered to Alex, "We're actually going to meet Green Day!"
Alex smiled her shakily and she gave him a questioning look before asking if he was okay.
"Yeah I'm fine Tay,"
She nodded at him, slipping her hand into his clammy one.
The teenagers entered the room and a few faces turned to smile at them, including those of the headlining band.
"Hey Guys," Billie said, tossing them a casual wave. They all started walking towards them when Tay felt Alex's hand leave her grip and when she turned all she saw was his back flying around the door. She turned to ask the boys but they were all in awe with the people in front off them and Tay didn't have the heart to pull them away. She shuved her hands into her pockets and excited the door to go after him.

"Alex?" She called, following the path they'd just walked down. "Alex?" She heard a muffled noise from the door to her left and gently knocked. "Alex?"
"Fuck off," was the hurried reply.
Nervously Tay opened the door to reveal a shaking Alex curled up on the floor surrounded by mops and brooms.
"I told you to go away." He said bluntly, breathing shakily.
"And I'm asking you if you're okay."
"Do I look fucking okay Tay?" He said sharply, rocking gently as if he wasn't conscious of the fact.
"No," she said, carefully sliding the door shut and sitting opposite him in the darkness so their knees interlocked. She sat quietly, hearing Alex's irregular breathing, her hands resting on his knees.
"Alex?" She finally asked quietly, "Do you get anxiety attacks often?"
She felt him shudder and only when a droplet of water landed on her hand did she realise that he was crying.
"I'm not having an anxiety attack." He choked, "anxiety attacks mean you're weak."
"Oh Alex," she said rubbing his knees gently. "They don't make you weak, and even if they do that's okay."
"I don't want to be weak."
After a few quiet seconds Tay spoke again. "What are you feeling?"
"Nothing."
"You don't feel anything."
"No."
"Nothing at all?"
"No."
"You must feel something."
"Well I don't."
She nodded stroking his head where he'd leant forward. The silence was welcoming, only occasionally broken by a hiccup or gasp for air.
Suddenly he sat up, rubbing at his eyes. "C'mon, we need to get back."
"But you just-" she trailed off as he stood up and pushed the door open.
"You coming?" He asked, offering her his hand with a smile that made Tay question if the last 10 had happened. She nodded, taking it as he pulled her up. They walked in silence to the auditorium, hands swinging.
"Nothing happened okay?" Alex said, his hand on the door knob to the room.
"But you-"
"Nothing happened." He repeated, pushing the door open and dropping her hat. "Sorry you lot, Tay forgot her beanie." He said easily, so easily that Tay almost believed him. Almost.