Phobic.

"Teacher?"

I glance at beetle eyes and shudder. Desiccated corpse and dead eyes, "Germs."

There's a pause, then, Parker's voice is higher and breaking, "Me?"

I stare at him, trying to make myself see what I usually do, but I can't, and it scares me. He should be covered in germs, I shouldn't be sitting this near to him, shouldn't be answering his questions, but I am.

There goes the buzz in my stomach, like I've been kicked, only somehow, a nice, comforting feeling. An electric shock of sorts pulses through my veins and my fear doubles. This is wrong, I shouldn't be feeling this, I shouldn't be seeing Parker, I shouldn't want to reach out and touch him.

So I run.

I push myself out the chair and trip towards the door. I start running through the halls, glad they're quite empty and then I'm outside, near the back of school, alone. I breathe deep and close my eyes.

"Ben?" A voice, soft and shaky invades my mind, and I find myself wanting to smile despite all this. I turn around and Parker is shaking nearly as much as me.

"Ben I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked, I mean I was just trying, I mean, I guess I'm just as, I mean, the germs, like, I mean when you see me you... I should probably go..."

"No!" I find my voice leaping in my throat and I'm waist deep in trouble now. Parker turns back round and stares at me inquisitively, waiting for me to continue.

"That's the problem," My voice is probably stronger than it's ever been in the last five years, "I don’t see germs, Parker," I breathe deep again, "I don’t, and I should..." I almost start crying from desperation, "Why do I see you Parker?"

Parker takes a small step forward and I see his hand twitch. I actually want him to reach out and touch me for a split second, until the germs worm their way back into my mind and I remember how contaminated he must be. I try and figure why I'm seeing him and my head spins. I get the urge to sit down and my legs almost buckle under me.

Parker makes to go and catch me, then stops himself as I catch myself from falling. He stays in a frozen position, halfway to catching me, and I stay with my legs half bent, somehow not falling over. Neither of us can move, we're both captivated.

"Why do I see you Parker?" My voice is so faint I can barely hear it, never mind Parker, and yet his lips twitch as he thinks of an answer.

"I don’t know Ben." He sighs, "But we'll find out."

-x-

For once, I'm not concentrating.

For once, I don’t hear the teacher droning on through her rouged lips and too-white teeth, all I hear is Parker's soft, bored, breathing. I hear his pencil tapping on the wooden table, and his feet stepping out the bass to his little melody. I hear his occasional sigh, and a little hummed melody, probably a song he'd listened to earlier this morning.

The events of this morning still plagued my mind, and I don't allow myself to look at him, for fear of that urge again, the one where I wanted his touch, needed it, and instead I clench my fists on the table.

"Ben," This time I hear his voice, and it swims so beautifully and calm into my brain. I don’t look at him, just stare at my work and tap my pen a few times.

"Yes?" I murmur back, quiet since we're meant to be working.

"What're you doing tonight?" I can feel his eyes boring into me and I shudder just a little.

"Nothing..." As usual. I know where its leading, I think, and I'm not sure whether I want it. Did I want to spend time with him out of school? I wasn't sure. Spending our lessons together, if you could call it that, but outside of school, in the open air, or something, that would be different.

Even though I only count two seconds, our silence feels like hours, and Parker shifts so his chin is resting on his loosely balled fist, "I want to figure you out, Ben."

I take a deep breath, and turn my body completely, so I'm twisted in my chair, abandoning the façade that I'm actually listening. I lean forward just a little, so my chin is in line with my knees, I think.

I glance down to check, yeah, it is, and when I look back up at Parker his eyes are on fire, staring right into mine.

"Yeah, me too."