New Perspective

As Brendon was driving me to a now empty parking lot since it was only 9 in the morning there was still silence in the car. I didn’t try to initiate a conversation because I didn’t really know what to say. One thing I knew is that I really liked kissing him. He also makes me crazy but is that because I like him or because he’s just irritating.

“What are you thinking?” he asked dropping my hand so he could put his car in park next to mine.

“Wondering if I regret what happened. Or if we should even keep this up because you still irritate me.” I said honestly and he just looked at me with a frown.

“We’ll you’re not the nicest person I know either and I want to give this a shot. Whatever this is.”

“This could never be a normal relationship, you know that right?” I asked and he just nodded.

“Good thing I’m not normal.”

“Yeah, that’s an understatement.” I mumbled and he punched me in the shoulder. I just looked at him with an angry look and punched him back making him cringe.

“I didn’t even punch you that hard!”

“You punched me. When you punch me I will punch you back with more force, just know that.” I warned him and he just smiled.

“I swear you make me like you more and more with every mean statement that comes out of your mouth.”

“That’s weird.” I laughed and he just shrugged. “I should probably go home and come up with a story at where I was half the night.”

“You could tell her the truth.” He said hopefully.

“Not an option.”

“Why.”

“Because I don’t want anyone to know. Everyone’s gonna get all excited and what if whatever the fuck this is does not work out. Let’s just keep it between us for now.” I said getting out of his car and getting into the driver’s seat of mine.

“Eden wait!” Brendon called as I was just about to back out. I placed my foot on the break and waited for him to run to my window. He tapped on it and I rolled it down. “You forgot to say goodbye.”

“You’re probably gonna be at my house in like an hour anyway, what’s the point.”

“That’s not the kind of goodbye I was looking for.” He smiled and my eyes widened a bit.

“Nope.”

“Please?” he said resting his arms on the door and leaning closer. So I kissed my finger and touched his lips with it after. “You suck.”

“You wish.” I said with a smirk and he just pulled my face closer to his and kissed me letting his lips rest on mine for longer than I expected.

“Satisfied?” I asked looking at him.

“I will be as soon as I get to spend more time with you. Alone.”

“Don’t count on that.”

“Oh I will be.”

“Bye, Brendon.” I said rolling my window up and backing out. I watched him in the rearview mirror and only now did I notice that he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Thank god I stopped at a stop sign or otherwise I would be just standing there admiring the most irritating manchild. Which is weird. But maybe I’ll get to like him soon. I hope. Maybe I already do?

I tried not to think about Brendon on my way home and tried to focus on the story that I will tell Sarah. I took a deep breath as I parked in the driveway, got out of the car then walked in the house.

“And where have you been all night?” she asked with her hands on her hips all while she was tapping her foot.

“Morning, mom.”

“Shut up now seriously where have you been?” she asked and I just plopped on the couch taking a deep breath.

“Well I tried getting along with Brendon at the mall and it didn’t work out, so I left and went to the bar for the night. Then just walked on the beach till the morning.”

“So you didn’t get any sleep?”

“I slept in the car for a couple of hours.”

“Oh?”

“Yep, then Brendon called me in the morning and I went to his house and we had some coffee and kinda talked, so I decided to be sort of civil with him.” I told her and her smile got really wide as she ran over to hug me.

“Thank you!” she shouted in my ear. “Because I really like Ryan and I hung out with him all day yesterday and it was amazing.”

“Well at least your day was fun.” I laughed and she just rolled her eyes at me.

“Shut up, no one stopped you from having fun.”

“Brendon did.”

“He was trying to be nice.”

“He’s annoying.”

“Enough, I gotta tell you something!” she yelled again and started waiving her hands around and slapping me with them.

“What?”

“I kissed Ryan! Well he kissed me, anyway we kissed and I’m so happy!” she exclaimed.

“Holy shit! Why didn’t you text me right away?”

“I didn’t think about that.”

“Bitch!”

“Shut up, but I’m so happy that you would be civil to Brendon for me because it really means a lot. He’s Ryan’s best friend.”

“I know, Sare.” I smiled and then looked at the clock above the mantel. “It’s almost eleven?”

“Yeah, and you gotta change and do your shit.”

“I know. I’m just happy I didn’t get a hangover.” I laughed and she just shook her head as I got up off the couch and ran upstairs to get in the shower.

By the time I was done it was one o’clock. I growled to myself as I picked out my outfit for the day. I decided to go with a pair of short shorts and a pretty tank. I didn’t do anything with my hair, just let the wet curls dry as they please.

“Hey gorgeous.” I heard from behind me and I looked in the mirror in my closet and saw that it was Brendon standing there leaning against my now closed door.

“Didn’t I just get rid of you a couple of hours ago?” I asked and he just shrugged walking over to me. “What are you doing in my room anyway?” I asked taking my towel and throwing it in the hamper.

“I asked where the bathroom was and Sarah pointed upstairs and then I looked in the open room and saw you standing there, so I let myself in.”

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“I know.” He said with a slight smile as he put his hands on my hips and pulled me closer.

“Sarah could walk in.”

“I don’t care.” He whispered as he leaned down to kiss me and I didn’t want to resist at this moment.

I let him push me against the wall and he started running his hands under my shirt raising it up. I raised my hands so I could play with his hair tugging the dark locks just to hear that growl again. It didn’t take long from a little innocent kiss to turn into an aggressive with him trying to get away with as much as he could and me getting closer to him if it was possible.

One thing that I knew at this point is that he was my new addiction. I could not have enough of him. It was not possible for me to ever get enough of him.

The way he would bite my bottom lip then graze it with his tongue, the way our lips moved together and our tongues still cautious on how far we wanted this to go, the way that we were both desperate for this. Desperate to get a piece of joy even though it has to be hidden from everyone else on this planet.

“I think we should stop, before this escalates.” I breathed as he would still keep kissing me trying to pretend I didn’t say anything.

“That sound like a good, but terrible idea.” He finally said looking me in the eyes. “You gotta sneak out again tonight.” He said and then we both laughed at how ridiculous that sounded.

“This is what my life has become, I have to sneak out of the house to see a boy. Awesome.”

“Well it’s kind of your fault that you don’t want to tell anyone.”

“But you could’ve went behind my back and told everyone.”

“Everyone knows how I like you, that’s all they need to know.”

“Do you mean Sarah too?” I asked and he nodded. “That’s why she gave me a weird look when I agreed to go in the water and surf with you.”

“You are a pretty sexy surfer.” He said kissing me again but I could not let it get further than that so I pushed him away and he just pouted at me.

“No, because if we keep doing that you’re gonna start thinking with your dick, and that’s the last thing we need.”

“You suck.”

“You wish.”

“I really like you though.” He said taking my hand and bringing it to his lips.

“I think I really like you too.” I admitted and the biggest smile appeared on his face making me laugh a bit.

“I knew you weren’t gonna be able to hate me forever!” He shouted and I shushed him right away. “Sorry, I’m just happy.” He said picking me up in the air and spinning me around.

“I can tell, now I think it’s better for us to go downstairs and act like we hate each other.”

“That’s gonna be fun now that I know it’s not true. Prepare for a lot of ass grabbing.” He smiled.

“Prepare for a lot of punching then.”

“Sounds good to me.” he smiled and I just shook my head. “You walk downstairs first and then I’ll come down later, I’ll say that I got lost or some shit. Or went through your underwear drawer.”

“You are horrible.”

“You like it.” he smirked and I leaned up to kiss him again. “Till tonight.” He said and I just smiled as he left the room to go downstairs to everyone.

I went back in the bathroom checking and making sure that I still looked presentable. I washed my face and tried to take a deep breath. I have no idea why he has such effect on me and whether he should have any effect on me at all. For now I’m not gonna raid my head for all of these answers and just enjoy my youth, I mean that’s what Sarah always tells me. Maybe for once I’ll listen to her.

”Sometimes life is so unfortunate, that’s why I don’t give shi-“ my phone rang and without looking at who it was I picked up.

“Helloo.” I said into the phone and there was no answer. I looked at the screen and saw that Suki was calling me. “Suki I know it’s you.”

“How’d you know?”

“It’s called a caller ID.”

“Damn, so what’s new?” she nearly shouted in excitement.

“Nothing at all actually since we talked yesterday.”

“You meet any cute boys yet.”

“All of the cute ones are annoying as shit.” I responded knowing that she would be the last person on this planet that would ever be able to keep a damn secret, especially from Sarah.

“That really sucks, so Sare texted me saying her and Ryan are getting it on, or was it getting it in?” she says stopping to think for a moment and I started laughing out loud. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s Sarah we’re talking about, she’s not going to get with a random boy, she will make sure to get ten thousand dates out of him first, at least three months of true passion, and of course a title of being his girlfriend.”

“Yeah, I remember that shit. She has that posted on the mirror in her room back home.”

“Maybe we should be this smart too sometimes. Avoids heartbreaks, you know.” I said randomly.

“There is a boy! I know there’s a boy!”

“No there isn’t! I told you they are all assholes here. Not even cute!”

“You said some of them were cute.”

“No, I was trying to sound nice.”

“Oh, but I know that you only question your morals and shit when there’s a boy involved. Or you’re in the middle of clothes shopping which is not possible cuz I know you’re home.”

“Um…how do you know I’m home?” I asked pretty quietly but thankfully I did not have to repeat myself.

“Are you deaf or something, I told you, I was texting Sarah.”

“Oh yeah, anyway, when is your ass joining us?”

“I don’t know maybe two or three, maybe even ten. Don’t ask me days or weeks cuz I don’t know, I still need some stuff to do.”

“What stuff you’re probably home sitting in front of your gaming console.”

“That maybe so, but it does not change the fact that I need some things to do.”

“Whatever, you’re just lazy to come out here and live with your best fucking friends.”

“I’ll get there eventually, don’t worry.”

“EDEN!” I heard Sarah and the rest of the gang scream from downstairs and I just groaned.

“They want my blood Suki, they want to kill me to the death!”

“You don’t make any sense at all, which is pretty normal, but I’ll let you go cuz I got-“

“Shit to do.” I laughed and I could hear her laughter through the phone as well.

“I’ll see you soon and if not I’ll call you.”

“Just get here as soon as you can.”

“I’ll try, now bye, I’m busy.”

“Bye dude.”

“EDEN!” here it is again.

With clenched teeth I made my way down the staircase to where the rest of the cast resided at the moment. Nothing was unusual, just Ryan and Sare sitting on the couch, then Jon and Spencer playing rock, paper, scissors on steroids and Brendon was nowhere to be found. Did he leave?

“You looking for me hot stuff?” and there he is. I almost smiled at his remark but that would give everything away and I did not want that to happen at all.

“Fuck off, Urie, I was hoping you were gone.”

“You’re mean.”

“And you’re annoying.” I retorted back and he just narrowed his eyes at me. “So why the hell did you all shout for me?” I questioned looking directly at Sarah because I know she organized the shouting party.

“We’re hungry.” She replied with a smile.

“Who’s we?” I asked and everyone’s hands shot up. “Urie, make us burgers.” I said sitting down next to Spencer on the couch.

“Only if you kiss the cook.”

“Jon go cook the burgers or I’ll kick your ass.”

“I was gonna do it anyway. Brendon can’t cook anything but skittles.” He mumbled and I gave him a questioning look.

“How the hell do you cook skittles?”

“He puts it in a fancy bowl. Well he puts like fifteen bags in a bowl then sets it in the middle of the table and announced that the dinner was served.” Spencer explained and I just turned to look at Brendon who was currently smiling like a fool.

“I wanna say something, but I don’t even know what to say to be quite honest with you.”

“Oh my, you are actually being honest, that’s the first step in every relationship!” he exclaimed and I took the nearest throw pillow and chucked it at him. “Save the heat for the bedroom baby.” He winked at me which made me want to continue our secret meeting upstairs but unfortunately that was not possible at the moment.

“Brendon, chill.” Ryan intervened. “You’re being a dick.”

“Well she’s being a bitch.” Brendon responded.

“She’s always a bitch, you just gotta live with it.” Sarah said waiving her hand around like her statement was not a big deal at all.

“Well then I’ll be a dick to her for the rest of my life.” Brendon announced and I just took another breath and turned to Jon.

“Let’s go, I’ll make the salads and you make the patties and hopefully we’ll avoid the dick.” I said pulling him off the couch and dragging him to the kitchen.

“That sounds like I should help!” Brendon announced and I stopped in my tracks.

“Say one word and you’re fired.” I pointed at him and he started mimicking my voice. So when Jon and I walked in the kitchen I pushed Brendon out and locked the doors. All of the doors that could possibly lead to the kitchen.

“Well done.” Jon commented and I smiled in return thanking him. “So what do you want me to start making?”

“I don’t care, whatever you want I’m not picky.” At that he started laughing.

“Well then you’re lucky I can cook then.”

“Yeah, for some reason I feel like you and Suki would get along great.”

“Who’s Suki?! Is she hot?!” Brendon screamed from the other side of the door.

“Eavesdropping is a federal offense!” I screamed back when I walked right next to the door making him scream in pain on the other side as well as laughter from Sare, Ryan, and Spencer.

“Says who?!”

“The feds!” I replied and then took two pans and smacked them together in front of the door just to make his life more miserable. I kind of feel bad for hurting him though. He’s too adorable to be hurt. But since we’re not exclusive, or anything to be quite honest I can do whatever the fuck I want.

“I’ve decided I’m gonna make mac and cheese.” Jon announced and I turned around to raise my eyebrow at him.

“Homemade mac and cheese?”

“Do I look like a chef to you? Fuck that shit I found a box of Velveeta.”

“He’s a liquid gold digger!” Brendon shouted and I just rolled my eyes at that as Jon started nodding.

“Is there anyone in this house who can cook?” I shouted in exasperation.

“You can!”

“Shut up Sarah, I don’t feel like it!”

“Well then!”

“I can cook if you let me in!” Brendon kept yelling as I was trying to hear if anyone else that is currently present in the house had cooking abilities.

“What can you cook?” I asked.

“Pretty much anything that has sugar in it.”

“Okay.” I said unlocking the door and then letting the nosey fucker in.

“Thank you. Now give me the sugar and I’ll be good.”

“What will you make?”

“Sugar in a bowl.” He said trying to hide his smile.

“Fuck outta here!” I said pushing him back out as he kept cracking the fuck up. “I’ll cook.”

“Hallelujah!” Sarah called and I just stuck my tongue out the door at her. “Meanie.”

“Whatever, you should come and help me.”

“Okie.” She said getting up from the couch and running over to me.

“What about my velveeta?” Jon asked and Sarah and I both turned around and saw him wearing an apron holding a pot and a wooden spoon. Without saying a word we just pushed him out of the kitchen with Velveeta and all and closed the door behind him.

“So you make the salad I make the patties?” she asked heading over to the fridge and taking out the ground beef.

“Yep.”

“Why don’t you like Brendon?” she asked out of the blue and I could hear my heart starting to beat faster. I was just hoping I wouldn’t start blushing at the moment.

Why would I tell her? Because she’s my best friend, well one of my best friends. Now why would I even blush about it. I like Brendon but I wasn’t too sure that it was ever going to get out of the whole friends sneaking around routine. Or how long that routine was even going to last for us.

“You there?”

“What? I didn’t hear what you were saying.” I lied taking some cherry tomatoes out of the fridge and popping one in my mouth.

“You suck at listening you know that?” I just nodded in response and then the continued with her questions. “So why don’t you like Brendon? I thought he was nice.”

“Well he wasn’t nice to me, he was pushy and did you hear the shit that he says to me?” most of the things I was saying were right and that kinda makes me question to why I like him. Why did I kiss him, aside from the fact that he is cute. He basically made me pissed off and then he kept making me more angry. That is not how you get a girl at all and why did I even fall for that shit?

“That’s cuz he is immature and the only thing that he got from his educational career is how to pick up girls. In elementary school.” She started snickering and I joined her cuz that was so true.

“All he does is make me upset and he makes me want to punch him half the time.”

“What about the other half?” she asked and I looked at her with a puzzled expression. “You said that only half the time you want to punch him, what about the other?” she said slapping a pattie on a plate making a smack sound. Then she giggled.

“Okay now you make the salad, cuz apparently you’re not mature enough to make patties.” I said putting the bowl that I filled with ripped lettuce next to her and taking the meat away from her.

“Answer my question and don’t judge my maturity level!”

“Or lack thereof.” I mumbled and got a tomato thrown at me. “But half the time I don’t know. I just can’t really picture him at all. I’ve never really seen a side of him that’s just sweet.” Lie. “I’ve never seen him drop the whole arrogant boy façade.” Lie. “He’s just not my type.” Lie, lie, lie!

“You’re so lying.” I just stared at her with a blank expression. “He is so your type you’re just too stubborn to believe it!” she nearly screamed and I threw her a look and then opened the curtain on the door window making sure the guys didn’t hear her shouting.

“No, I’m not lying. He really isn’t my type.”

“You’re lying, he’s perfect for you and I wouldn’t be surprised if you two would start sneaking around.” She said giving me a pointed look. Shit. She knows. I don’t know how but she knows.

“You wish that would happen.”

“Or did it happen??? Where were you that night? Ryan told me that you were at Brendon’s house that next morning in a wrinkled shirt like you went to sleep in it!” she said pointing at me with the tongues that she was using to toss the salad.

“I slept in my car and then decided hey why not try to be friends with that asshole just so you could have a good relationship so I went to his house and we talked and we drank coffee.” I said innocently and she still had her eyes narrowed at me.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Do you really think I would hide something from you?”

“You always do,” she said and I just rolled my eyes at her “well only if you don’t find it necessary to tell me the truth about something. When you’re ready you always tell me the truth so I can’t really blame you for that but”

“Get to the point woman!”

“You don’t always tell me the truth, that’s the point. Suki knows it too.” And with that name everything clicked in my head.

“Suki told you I was questioning my morals and then you started questioning me. You and her are a bad team, the worst investigators!”

“So there is something to investigate!” she shouted and I just took a deep breath and put the last patty on the plate.

“Guys fire up the grill we’ve got some cooking to do!” I screamed and of course the first person to burst in the kitchen was Brendon who immediately grabbed the patties from me and went outside while Sarah looked at me with a questioning look.

Maybe I should tell her. I feel like that would be easier.

Then Ryan walked in and as he walked past me he gave me a smile. A knowing smile.

“Brendon!” I screamed running outside and shutting the door behind me before anyone could get out.

“What’s up?”

“You told Ryan.” I said and he just looked at me with wide eyes. “Don’t even try to lie to me!”

“I only told him cuz I figured you’d tell Sarah right away.”

“But I didn’t tell Sarah, but I think she found out from Ryan and if she knows Suki knows and if Suki knows the whole world knows!”

“What’s wrong with the whole world knowing?” he asked furrowing his eyebrows sounding clearly upset.

“Because I don’t even know what this is.” I said pointing between the two of us.

“What do you mean you don’t know what this is? I thought we pretty much accomplished that we’ll just keep it a secret and see where it goes.”

“And you couldn’t even keep it a secret!” I started raising my voice at him and he looked back to the patio door cuz he knew someone could possibly overhear us. “Obviously that’s a sign that this will go nowhere.”

“Stop saying that! You’re breaking up with me when we didn’t even have a chance to go out.”

“I’m not even sure that I want to know what going out with you feels like when you can’t do something small that I asked of you.”

“I’m sorry, what else do you want me to say?”

“So am I.” I said refusing to look him in the eyes and I could tell he was rummaging through his brain to find the right words.

There was a moment of silence when I wasn’t sure whether I was waiting to say something or if I was actually waiting for him to say something to make me reconsider my decision.

We stood there a little more and I could tell that he was trying really hard to concentrate on anything but this conversation and finally he snapped. He threw the towel that he was holding onto the hot grill and stormed inside slamming the patio door behind him nearly making the glass within it break into millions of pieces.

As soon as I saw him do that I started regretting being mad at him, but I feel like it might be too late to change anything.

“Um, Eden?” I turned around and saw Spencer standing there hiding most of his body behind the glass door which I found half hysterical, half pointless.

“What?” I asked and he smiled sheepishly in return and I just narrowed my eyes. “What’d you do?”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Then why do you looks damn guilty?”

“Spencer, fucking tell her already!” I could hear Sarah screaming her lungs out.

“Brendon put a hole in your wall.” He said really fast and then ran back in.

Honestly? I didn’t care. I just sat down at the edge of the pool and dipped my feet in it. I wasn’t sure why I felt so sad because Brendon was right – we weren’t going out. We were barely friends. Hell, we kept insulting one another; we put up this whole charade to keep this shit from our best friends, from our family. If that doesn’t sound like a fucked up relationship from the start, I don’t know what does.

With me being deep in thought I failed to notice that my phone was ringing.

“Hey Suki.” I said quietly but she didn’t respond. “Suki?”

“I’m here, I’m here I was just expecting you to scream your lungs out cuz Sare just posted a picture of a hole in your wall on Facebook and tagged Brendon in it. I was cracking up for so long you don’t even know.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty funny.” I said wiggling my toes under the water not really being in the right mood to laugh, or talk for that matter.

“How did it happen though? Cuz I asked Sarah and she said that Brendon just punched the shit out of it before storming out. Is that the dude that gets on your nerves? Did you finally put him in his place and that’s why he did that? That’s pretty fucked up shit though.” She kept going on and on calling Brendon names and then already coming up with a plan for my revenge. “You do know where he lives right?”

“What?”

“I said you do know where he lives, right?”

“Um, yeah, why?”

“I think you should go over there and kick his scrawny ass.” She said sounding mean and proud.

“Not gonna change a thing.”

“Well obviously it’s not gonna change him from being an asshole, but at least it will be a payback for the wall.”

“I don’t care about the wall.” I admitted.

“Wait, why, and why are you all down and shit?” she said and I could hear some videogames in the background.

“I just don’t.” I said completely ignoring the second question “I’ll talk to you later, I gotta finish cooking this stuff and feed everyone, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay, just cheer up or something, drink a beer, relax, anything.”

“I’ll try.” I said smiling a bit and then hung up the phone.

I put my phone in my pocket and got my feet out of the pool. I took a deep breath and decided to finally walk inside. I walked in the living room and noticed the no longer perfect wall next to the door. I just shook my head. I don’t know what he was trying to prove by doing that but I’m quite curious.

Then I thought back about our last conversation and I clearly overreacted. Ryan was his best friend, and there really is nothing with the whole world knowing.

I guess now everything will get back to normal. No distractions, just work. No second guessing my morals. I guess we’ll just go back to being strangers.

“I’m gonna go talk to her.” I heard Sarah whisper as she started running upstairs after me. I walked into my computer room and sat down in my favorite chair.

Sarah sat down on the floor next to the chair and looked up at me with a look similar to sympathy. “What happened?”

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” I said pulling my legs up on the chair and then putting my chin on my knees.

“If it’s nothing why are you upset?”

“Honestly? I don’t know.”

“Is it because you were starting to really like him?” I just nodded. “Do you want to be left alone?” I nodded again and she walked out of the room.

Did I make a big mistake? Or did I just prevent myself from making one?