Los Angeles

The air around me chilled me to the bone as I had made my way towards the local Starbucks that was only a few blocks away from my apartment in the city. The light jacket I wore kept no heat whatsoever contained in my small body and once I had entered the warmer location, I let out a sigh of relief and looked over to find Kennedy and Quinn seated at a table for four towards the back of the cafe. They hardly noticed me and I realized it had been a few years since we all had spoken.

From what I knew, Quinn and Kennedy were a thing now. They started in early 2011 and had made things official in the Fall. I was almost surprised because Quinn never had a thing for many band boys in our time. She always went for the ones that were sports oriented and body built their way to the top. She used to be materialistic then, but her hair was a dark auburn color and she wore a pair of jeans and a loose tank top that hardly showed her curves.

Kennedy looked the same except his hair wasn't falling in his eyes and I could see a mustache growing in. He lit up almost each time he looked at Quinn and the two spoke about what I heard was topics of their new condo they had just bought. They seemed happy; I wished that I was that happy.

After stepping up to the table, their brown and green irises looked up at me with sudden joy and they both stood up to embrace me in a bone crushing hug. I didn't know how to feel or whether to feel anything at all. They were happier to see me than I was, but I couldn't hold back the tears that welled up in my eyes just by the sight of seeing my old friends.

"You look so gorgeous, babe!" Quinn said with a hint of happiness in her tone. She gave me the widest smile possible and soon Kennedy agreed and we all sat to begin catching up on the things we had missed in our lives.

I had never saw Quinn so happy to explain her life. Apparently throughout college she played softball still and was a second grade teacher. She talked about her favorites in her class and how she couldn't wait to be back home to be with them throughout the day again. Kennedy explained his same lifestyle, except the band had gotten bigger and they were in the process of recording another album.

They then looked at me quizzically and asked what had I done with my life.

My life sure hadn't changed much. Although I had gone into school for photography, there was not much I could really do but try to promote myself to local bands, weddings, graduations, birthday parties, etc. I hadn't done much with my profession, but I would soon know when my inspiration would strike and I'd hope that it would end up being something incredible in the end.

"Anyway, the reason we came is because we really wanted to see you in person." I had heard Kennedy say with a sincere smile on his face. He suddenly looked like the kid I had knew back from the last time we had saw each other, which was graduation day.

Our graduation wasn't as great as I wished it would be. Although we had gone our separate ways, I couldn't help but feel the situation to be nostalgic. It wasn't as hazy in the back of my mind as everything else was. John and I had gotten closer after I had come to one of their shows and I was so sure we were going to make our relationship the strongest it had been past high school, but he managed to hang out with an old friend and sleep with her.

In the end, his life wasn't so different now. Whenever they had come to California on tour, I went to their Chain Reaction shows and later in the night, he'd pick an of age girl that he had found in the crowd earlier on and take her back to be his guest for the night. It disgusted me because I knew he wasn't the same John we had all left in high school. Even his closest friends could see it.

John and I didn't talk much. The only time I truly heard his voice was when he'd leave drunken messages on my answering machine. He'd tell me that he'd miss me and that I meant everything to him and suddenly have a strong mood swing. I could almost hear his slurred words ringing in my ears of how dumb I was for leaving Tempe and how he couldn't believe what a waste of time I had been to him.

I didn't know what to believe, but what could I do? My whole family had fallen apart after I had left. My Dad managed to marry the assistant and my Mom became a raging alcoholic who was sent to rehab after mixing prescription pills with the toxic liquid. I did almost everything I could to get away from the situation and be able to breathe again.

".. We also wanted to tell you something very important." Quinn said with a smile as she held tightly onto the hand of Kennedy. The two were smiling ear to ear as they looked at each other and I was almost glad I had snapped out of my depressing thoughts. "Kennedy and I are going to be parents!"

That's when I choked on the tea I was drinking. The two looked at me with a cautious look and furrowed eyebrows as I grabbed a napkin to cover my mouth as I coughed out loudly. Quinn as the motherly type scared me more than anyone else and she showed me the ultrasound picture that she had taken on her phone of the baby.

She suddenly excused herself when she had gotten a call and stepped out of the cafe as I watched her with almost disbelief. My best friend, the one everyone thought that wouldn't have her life together whatsoever by the time she had left high school, had a job as a teacher and was about to have her first child.

Kennedy and I stayed quiet at the table until he had finally broke his silence.

"Have you talked to John lately?" Kennedy asked with a raised eyebrow as I only shook my head and he grabbed out a pen from the pocket of his jacket and one of the napkins from the dispenser. He wrote down a number sloppily on the napkin and slid it in front of me with a slight shrug. "You should talk to him. I promised Quinn I wouldn't bring this up because I know how you two are, but you two deserve to settle what happened a few years ago."



You two deserve to settle what happened a few years ago..

Those were the only words that invaded my mind like a broken record. I knew that I couldn't ignore John forever because he'd always be there. He'd always be there to pick up the pieces if I was broken and shattered the way he was, but instead, I ran for the hills. I ran away because of being a scared, unsatisfied little girl. But I never expected my relationship to turn into a replica of my parents.

I juggled in my head different ways to great the man. He was no longer a boy and from the pictures I had seen, I began to notice facial hair growing in that he believed would never be there. When there were pictures of him topless floating around the internet, you could find the light, curled pieces of hair up close. He was a new John O'Callaghan and I was the same Lily Devaux. I thought of the worst and it always came true.

After finally having the guts to dial in his number and press the 'Call' button, I held the phone up against my ear and listened as the other end began to ring. I was almost hoping that I could just leave a message or maybe just hang up by the time the answering machine sounded, but it was too late because I heard a groggy greeting into the receiver and jumped in surprised.

"John.." I said through almost a sigh and I could almost instantly see his entire mindset change. I could picture him sitting up in his king sized bed that could actually fit his lanky body as he glared off into the distance as if I stood right in front of him. "This is Lily. I just wanted to call to see how you were."

"I'm fine." He had answered after a long pause, as if he was in thought. I sighed quietly into the receiver and the two of us sat on the phone in complete silence. I could almost hear his familiar breathing pattern in my ear as I curled up in my bed and thought for a moment. "Listen, things haven't really been the same without you around. And with Kennedy and Quinn getting ready to bring a life into the world, I think you should be there when it happens. Besides, you are the godmother. And I am the godfather."

I scrunched my nose up at the sound of godmother. I almost felt bad for the kid that would soon take it's first breath in the world because they'd soon realize that "Aunt Lily" wasn't very fun and that my life was dull when I wasn't working my nine to five. They'd probably cry tears if they ever got stuck trying to be around someone like me.

"You should fly out and be there for your best friend. She needs you now more than ever, especially with me and the guys heading out on tour and experiencing some new sights that are far from home." I heard John say which had interrupted my thoughts. I only kept quiet and heard him sigh due to my sudden silence as I could only frown. "At least do it for her. She needs your help, Lily."

I could feel the familiar butterflies fluttering in my stomach as his plea sounded almost like desperation. And that was all it took to pull me back into the Arizona sun.