The Right Thing

“You should come to the rink with me today.”

I looked over at him, then down at the sweats I was wearing. He was headed out to skate on his own, just to spend some time on his beloved ice without anyone else around. But I wasn’t in any state to be out in public; especially if there was a chance anyone would see me. I gave him a look that said just that.

“You look fine. It’s just the rink and there’s not going to be anyone around.”

“I look like I just rolled out of bed, and how can you know no one will be around?”

“To be fair, you did just roll out of bed not that long ago which is probably why you look like that. And I know we’ll be alone because I reserved the ice for the team but the other guys aren’t coming, they’re taking a day off.”

“Which is something that you aren’t even remotely capable of doing.”

“I have had far too many days off in the last couple of years. I don’t need any more of those.”

He had a solid point; he’d had too many days without anything to do. He needed to stay busy and he needed to be doing what he loved. I knew that he would have rather been playing the game and I could only assume that his teammates felt the same way. But that wasn’t an option for some of them. Some would rather stay home with their families and quite a few had children who were back in school for the year so they were back in Pittsburgh with very little to do.

That didn’t mean that his teammates didn’t want a day off once in a while.

They certainly deserved it.

But Sidney didn’t have kids to help coach or even a house to take care of, not one that he lived in. His circumstance was different; he had freedom in a way that the others didn’t. In ways that was a blessing for him, not having to structure his time around other people, especially given the fact that I wouldn’t allow him to structure his life around me. But that could also be a bit of a curse because it meant he had too much time to fill and not enough to fill it with. It had the ability to drive him crazy if he wasn’t careful.

Sidney wasn’t good at being bored.

“Just come with me,” he insisted. “You’ve been here for two weeks and you’ve seen very little aside from the inside of the guest house while you’ve been here.”

“I’ve told you, I’m working.”

“I know you are. And I love that you can do that here, that you’ve got the focus when you’re here.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I don’t want you to feel like you’re visiting. I’ve told you that before. I want this to feel like home to you. I want you to be able to come and go as you please, just like you do in Boston. But I want you to have some fun as well.”

“And watching you skate and shoot pucks at an empty net is fun?”

“I don’t know if anyone has ever told you this,” he said as he joined me on the sofa. “But I am pretty fantastic. Impressive, you might say.”

“Impressive?”

“I’m kind of a big deal.”

I couldn’t help but laugh as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. He was trying to entice me; to convince me that going with him would be the best way to spend my day. Just to be close to him, something that he knew that I loved.

“Please come with me.”

“Can I at least change my clothes; get ready for the day before we leave?”

“You get to change your clothes. But there’s no time for hair and makeup.”

“I hate those days,” I complained. “I look like crap on those days.”

“You look beautiful on those days.”

I scoffed as he kissed me quickly on the temple.

“You look beautiful every day.”

“Stop being cheesy. I’m going to go throw some actual clothes on.”

“You’ve got five minutes. If you’re not at the car, I will leave without you.”

I knew that he meant it. He wanted to get to the rink and get his time in before anyone else showed up for their own ice time. He didn’t want to run into anyone, he didn’t want it to become a show. If the rest of the team wasn’t there, most people wouldn’t know that anyone was even there to practice.

I headed upstairs to find a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. If I wasn’t allowed to put my makeup on our even do my hair due to the time limit, I wasn’t about to put a dress on or get myself too entirely put together. I’d stick out like a sore thumb in a great outfit and one of Sidney’s Penguins hats.

I dressed quickly and took a moment to put just a touch of mascara on my lashes, I’d always felt naked without it. I dove into Sidney’s closet and found one of his hats, one I was almost certain he’d never even worn, it certainly wasn’t a mess of frayed strings and sweat stains. It seemed safe enough.

I slipped it over my hair as I took off down the stairs. Sidney was already gone, out in the car and waiting for me. When he was on a timeline, he wasn’t kidding. I was sure I’d spent more time than he’d allotted, but I knew he wasn’t about to leave without me unless I really threatened to put him behind schedule.

I locked the door behind me with my newly acquired key. Sidney had given it to me to add to the key I already had for the apartment where he sometimes stayed. He’d also given me a key to the house that was being built a few blocks from where he was currently staying. I’d argued at first. He wasn’t even ready to live in the house yet he insisted that I have a key to the place. It just felt odd. I was also a little put off by having a key to the guest house that belonged to Mario and Nathalie. I’d actually checked with them before even accepting the key from Sidney.

I stood in the kitchen of Mario and Nathalie’s house. We were preparing dinner; she’d only allowed me to help because I’d been terribly insistent about it. I’d finally met all four of their children, all of them as delightful as their parents. I knew why Sidney liked them so much without having to spend much time getting to know them.

Sidney had wandered off a while earlier to join Mario and the kids in the living room. It seemed that Austin and Alexa had challenged him to a video game battle that he couldn’t say no to. His competitive nature always seemed to win out. He also hadn’t seemed too excited about the idea of helping us cook. I was fine spending a few minutes alone with Nathalie.

“Did Sidney give you the key?”

I looked up at her, forgetting about the salad that she’d had me working at. It was busy work, most of dinner she already had under control, but she’d known that I appreciated having something to do, especially since Sidney was keeping himself busy.

“He told you about that?”

“He asked us first. He pays rent; he certainly doesn’t need our permission for anything of the sort. It’s just that he knew that you’d worry about what Mario and I would think. He’s always so thoughtful that way.”

I laughed quietly as I tossed a few cucumbers into the salad.

“What’s so funny?”

“I didn’t take the key because I didn’t know if you would be okay with it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, you have our blessing if that helps.”

“It does,” I admitted.

“And please remember that you’re always welcome here and I don’t just mean the guest house. You’re important to Sidney and that makes you important to us.”

“Thank you, Nathalie. That means a lot.”

It really meant the world to me. I had a feeling that she understood. I was certain that there had to be people in Mario’s life that she’d desperately wanted to accept her. Anyone who loved someone in the way that I loved Sidney had to have had that feeling a time or two. It was good to know that Nathalie and Mario were in my corner; or at the least the one that Sidney and I shared.

It didn’t hurt that Stephanie and I had hit it off well as soon as we’d arrived at the main house. She’d immediately started tossing questions my way. Some were about Boston as a whole, other just about the places I thought she should see and the things that she should do to become acclimated with the city. I promised to make her a list, cafes where it was easy to study, restaurants that were open until all hours of the night making them perfect for college students. We exchanged numbers and email addresses just to keep in touch.

I also assured her that if she needed someone to talk to, I was always on call. It wasn’t as if I slept well back in Boston anyway.

“I have to say, I’m glad to have dinner with the whole family tonight. I’ve really been looking forward to meeting the kids.”

“Lauren is astounded to find that you really do exist. She was just about beside herself. She just had herself convinced that Sidney would never bring a girl around. Not even 20 and she’s already a cynic,” she said, shaking her head. “But I think she’ll enjoy having another young woman around here, especially when her younger sister leaves for school.”

I couldn’t help but smile. Sidney had been hoping that I’d hit it off with the kids in the way that he had eight years earlier. They were like family to him. He wasn’t as protective of Mario’s three girls as he was of his own sister, but it was clear that he cared about all of them. He and Austin had a great relationship as well and being accepted by the Lemieux kids was a big deal to me.

I’d never thought that it would matter to me how a bunch of teenagers felt about me, but it clearly did. It mattered as much is it had mattered what Mario and Nathalie thought about me. It mattered in the same way that I’d worried how Taylor and Trina would react to me and how Troy would grow to respond to me over time.

The people who were most important to Sidney were important to me.

“I’m glad to be a real person and not a random face photoshopped into his pictures,” I quipped.

Nathalie smiled brightly. “I’m certainly glad that Sidney has you.”

I couldn’t quite thank her in that moment; I couldn’t find the right words. Instead, I found myself smiling down at the salad. I was glad that Sidney had me as well but more so I was glad to have him.

Sidney pulled out of the driveway as I got into the car, my seatbelt not even buckled before we were moving. Always serious about his timelines, never wanting to be late even if there wasn’t anyone waiting for him.

“Nice hat,” he commented.

“I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. You know how I am, creature of habit. It would never get any use from me.”

“So you’re saying I can have it, right?”

“It’s yours.”

He was smiling and I recoiled at the smell of the car as it hit me like a brick to the side of the face. He noticed the look on my face and seemed to know exactly what I was reacting to.

“Sorry, babe. Hockey pads; there isn’t a method known to man that can overcome that smell.”

“That is a horrible smell.”

“Pretty rank, I know.”

“How can you play in a cloud of that? That’s enough to knock you out.”

“You get used to it.”

“I don’t think I could.”

“Hopefully you won’t have to. As soon as this lockout bullshit is over the staff will be able to come back and the car won’t smell like my pads anymore.”

“I don’t think the car will ever smell like anything other than those pads.”

He chuckled, but we both knew it was quite accurate, the smell was horrible. I’d never been in the locker room at the arena, and the boys weren’t even allowed in it anymore, but I could only imagine that the stench was unbelievable.

“So how are you going to impress me today?”

“Just by being myself.”

“You might have to try harder than that to impress me. Actual effort may be necessary.”

“You’ve never seen me on skates.”

“That sounds incredibly manly,” I quipped. “Kind of like, ‘you’ve never tasted my quiche.’”

“Hey, I am incredibly manly.”

“I would never actually question that. You may be the manliest man I know.”

“I certainly am.”

“But I don’t know that many men, at least not straight ones.”

He narrowed his eyes at me for a short moment and shook his head. I smiled. He knew that I was kidding, messing with him just to see if he’d react. It was payback for all of the times he’d done the same to me.

“So, what’s the plan?”

“I’m going to skate a few drills, get my legs warmed up and ready to go. Fire some pucks, work on my slapshot. Just keep my legs under me, really. It’s not like I can be in game shape right now, but I need to keep up with things, always know how the ice and the puck feel.”

“You gonna do any fancy showing off?”

“I wouldn’t be above a couple of trick shots.”

“How fancy?”

“I will not be knocking any pucks off your head or anything.”

“Then how the hell are you going to impress your girlfriend?”

“I can always find a way. Trust me.”

I turned my attention back to the road as it unfolded in front of us. The smell wasn’t as strong but every few minutes I was tempted to open a window, regardless of the chill of the air outside the temperature controlled car. But Sidney had been right, on a certain level you did get used to the smell after a time.

The lot at the practice rink was empty, there was unlikely to be anyone lingering to see if the boys were practicing. Sidney parked behind the building, knowing that people would recognize the vehicle if they saw it. He certainly didn’t intend to invite any undue attention to his presence and in turn, mine. It was better safe than sorry as far as we were concerned.

He dropped me off at the bench, telling me that it was the best seat in the house, aside from the ice itself. But he knew damn well that I wouldn’t be getting on skates to join him. I was a terrible skater with weak ankles. I’d dreaded roller-skating birthday parties as a kid and always opted for a bike rather than roller blades when out with my friends. He knew that I wasn’t about to hop on the ice and the bench would just have to do.

He slipped down the runway to get dressed and I sat in the empty arena. We’d run into the man who drove the Zamboni, he and Sidney had chatted for a moment and the man had seemed used to Sid’s presence. He also seemed a little surprised that Sidney wasn’t alone, but he didn’t make a big deal of it. Sidney didn’t hesitate in introducing me as his girlfriend, clearly certain of the ability of his acquaintance to remain mum on the subject.

It was almost a relief to be introduced to someone outside of what was essentially his family. But at the same time, it made me more than a little uncomfortable. There were still moments in our time together when I didn’t feel like I was quite good enough for Sidney. I knew it wasn’t true, and I knew that even uttering such things would send Sidney into something nearly as severe as an actual rage. He hated it when I acted like I was less than him, it made him feel like he wasn’t normal, like I couldn’t see him as a normal person. I hated that I struggled with it, but as time passed I knew that it would get easier.

Within a few minutes, he had returned and was standing next to me taping his stick without a word. I watched him as he concentrated on the task at hand. He looked bigger in his gear, broader and more intimidating. Sidney wasn’t the largest player by far and I could only imagine how menacing some of the bigger players looked up close in all of their gear, especially those who weren’t waiting with a willing smile the way Sidney so often was.

He caught me staring at him, taking him in.

“What are you looking at?” he kidded.

“Not much, just watching.”

“It’s nothing special,” he said, referring to the tape-job he’d just accomplished without once looking away from his task.

“Just particular?”

“I guess you could say that.”

“Just don’t make me sit here bored. Go out there an impress me.”

He laughed, grabbed the bag of pucks, and headed out onto the ice without another word. I didn’t have to tell him twice that it was time for him to do as he’d promised. Showing off wasn’t his main objective, but every few minutes I would catch him looking my way with a wry smirk playing out on his lips, handling the puck in an unexpected way, making a shot that didn’t seem possible given the laws of physics.

I could tell that he was working plenty hard, sweat pouring down his face. It was no wonder the pads he and his teammates wore smelled like something had died in them. The amount of sweat that they absorbed had to be unbelievable. I assumed that Sidney’s were worse because of the simple fact that he hated change more than almost anything. His pads were likely never changed in the way that other players’ were. He didn’t see the point in getting new things when the old ones still worked perfectly.

Sidney dumped the remaining contents of the bag of pucks out onto the ice, lining some of them up and preparing to shoot them towards the net that I’d watched him push across the ice earlier in his workout. His focus was clear, I was nearly forgotten. The showing off had ended, he wasn’t doing anything fancy, just trying to work at his release, getting the puck to the net as quickly and accurately as he could. He was in the zone.

I froze as I saw someone in my periphery, someone who wasn’t supposed to be there. I looked quickly to my right to find a smiling face.

“You don’t look anything like a hockey player,” he commented in a playful French lilt.

Sidney seemed to have heard the voice of one of his teammates and had skated to the boards before I could come up with some form of response.

“I thought you opted out with everyone else, Tanger,” Sidney commented.

“Decided to work on my shot, figured you’d be here.” Kris’s eyes were on me once again. “When did you start letting fans watch from the bench?”

“Trying something new,” Sid quipped.

“You never try anything new.”

“Tell me about it,” I muttered.

Kris laughed openly and shook the glove off of his hand. “Didn’t think this is how I would finally meet Sid’s infamous girlfriend.”

I shook his hand. “Infamous?”

“He doesn’t shut up about you.”

I smiled at Sidney who looked away quickly and focused back on the ice.

“Now that you’ve met, do you want to work on your shot or not?”

“I think I’d rather sit here. Get to know her better. Figure out why she would have any interest in you.”

“Leave her alone and get on the ice.”

Sidney had told me that Kris was a bit of a flirt. More than happy in his relationship but always willing to be playful towards anyone he came across. I also knew that his girlfriend was expecting their first child and I couldn’t blame him if he was feeling the need to step away for a moment and focus on something that didn’t make him feel like he was being gripped by the terror of impending fatherhood.

I watched as Sidney lined up the pucks, speaking to Kris in a tone too low for me to hear from where I was sitting. But I found myself fascinated by the conversation. I kept an eye on Sidney as he directed his friend, the teammate that I knew Sidney was closest to. He went into a mode that I wasn’t as familiar with, directing Kris in his every move. Leading him in the way that I was sure he did only on certain occasions, only when his teammates asked him to.

Sidney was otherwise a quiet leader, not one to give directives too often. But I observed as he sent pucks towards his teammate one by one. Kris would receive the puck and quickly lob it towards the net. His accuracy wasn’t where he wanted it; that much was clear. But with each shot, each word from Sidney, they got closer to where he wanted them to be.

“Again,” Sidney said, passing another puck in his direction.

Granted, there wasn’t a goalie in net, but with each puck his release was getting better. He was getting the puck to the net and he wasn’t hesitating when he did it. An opposing player wouldn’t be sure where he was sending it; the goalie in the net might not have the time to set themselves up, to get to it before it got to the point where Kris was aiming.

He was dialed in.

“Last one, make it count.”

He sent one last puck towards Kris and Kris made it count in a way I hadn’t imagined he would. It tore towards the net, the speed was intense, faster than the others, and it hit the target. He sent it at such a clip that it actually hit hard enough to fly through the net, leaving skid marks in its wake where it had squeezed through the twine.

“I think you’re good,” Sidney said with a laugh. “Lesson over.”

Without another word, he was skating around and picking up pucks. That was all, no big celebration, no huge reaction, though Kris’ shot nearly brought me to my feet. He was just done. Practice was over and after all was put back where it belonged, it was time to leave.

Kris helped Sidney throw the last pucks into the bag and carried it back towards the tunnel. He smiled over at me, shaking his hair back from his face, his helmet long forgotten during his shooting drills.

“It was nice to finally meet you. Good to put a face to the name.”

I smiled in response. “Nice to meet you too, Kris.”

“I hope he brings you around more often.”

“Eventually,” Sidney said.

“It’s not nice to keep secrets, Captain.”

I laughed at Kris’ quip. I found it funny in part because we referred to the quiet nature of our relationship as a secret more often than not. We were still so guarded about things that I had no idea when Sidney would decide that we were ready to go public, but I was more than happy to leave that up to him. It had more of an impact on Sidney than it did on me. He would be the one being asked the personal questions. He was the one that would have to do the explaining and the one that would have to deal with the public eye. I would be able to hide out if I needed to, I wouldn’t ever really have to face it on the scale that he would.

Kris was down the runway without another word and Sidney sat down on the bench next to me.

“That wasn’t the plan.”

“Thank you, Captain Obvious.”

He smiled. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Meeting your friend? No, I don’t mind. Seems like a pretty nice guy.”

“He is. Tanger’s a great guy. He’s also going to be discreet about this. He knows I’m not ready for the big reveal.”

“I have to say, that slapper was more impressive than anything you did out there.”

“You weren’t impressed by my coaching skills?”

“Not at all.”

“You’re a tough nut to crack.”

He moved in for a hug, sending me sliding down the bench away from him. “Don’t you dare touch me before you shower. You smell like an old sweat sock.”

He took my hand and pulled me towards the small locker room, more of a closet than anything else. “That’s going to have to wait until we get home.”

“I have to ride in a car with you?”

“You can always ride with me,” Kris suggested as he slipped his shirt over his head. His pads were packed away in his bag and ready to go.

“No offense, but I’m pretty sure you smell just as bad.”

“None taken.”

Sidney laughed and started peeling away layers, leaving me to watch. Kris zipped his bag and tossed it over his shoulder.

“You out?” Sidney asked, already stripped down to his socks and leggings.

“I am. Thanks for the drills.”

“Anytime.”

Kris stepped out of the small room, brushing past me on his way. I barely knew more than his name, though I knew what Sidney had told me of one of his closest friends. I reached out to touch his arm, compelled to say something more. His eye caught mine and he smiled softly.

“Good luck.”

He thanked me before he headed down the hallway and out the building. It appeared that he’d parked in the back just as Sidney had. I heard the Zamboni running back at the ice, clearing the sheet to start fresh for the next round.

“That was nice of you,” Sidney commented as he traded his Under Armour for a pair of track pants and a t-shirt. Both were bound to be saturated with sweat before long, but it would be enough to get him home and into the shower.

“I’m a pretty nice person.”

“That you are.” He heaved his bag up onto his shoulder, his keys in his hand. “Ready to go?”

I nodded. “Certainly ready for you to smell a little better than you do now.”

He walked behind me out to the car, opening the door for me before he tossed his bag into the back. There were a few cars in lot. We hadn’t passed anyone in the hallway, but I could only assume that unlike the locked out players, they had access to better facilities closer to the ice. Certainly more spacious than what Sidney and his teammates had.

“What do you want to do today?” He asked as we drove back to the house.

“I have no idea. I was going to get a little work done but beyond that, I haven’t the foggiest.”

“Can I take you to dinner tonight?”

“You can take me to dinner whenever you please.”

“But first I have to shower?”

“Shower and get through the rest of the day. It’s not even close to dinner time.”

“Lunch first.”

“Do you think about anything other than food?”

“Not after a workout like that.”

“I guess that’s understandable.”

We made it home not long after and Sidney let me sneak off to get some work done. I liked to squirrel myself away in the corner of the second bedroom. Nathalie and Mario had outfitted it with a small desk that I knew was there specifically for me, likely at Sidney’s request, but I’d never called anyone on it. I’d never so much as mentioned it

It was situated near the window, giving me a clear look at the expansive yard beyond the house. I could see the pool and the wooded area beyond the property. It was a great view and Sidney knew that it helped me focus in on the ideas that I usually had flitting through my mind.

Sidney slipped away for a few hours, off to work on his house. He was meeting with the contractor, hammering out some details that he didn’t want to be overlooked. He was trying to make sure everything was perfect. He needed to be certain that everything was impeccable, just the way he wanted it to be. I teased him for being particular before he left, but he didn’t seem to mind.

He startled me when he got home, I was too wrapped up to even realize he’d come in the room. My surprise was short lived as he pointed towards the clock and slipped back out of the room. I glanced out the window. Hours had passed; I hadn’t even realized that the sun was disappearing beyond the horizon.

Sidney was clearly ready to take me to dinner, which meant that I needed to get ready.

I shut down the computer and headed for the bedroom where Sidney had already started the process of changing into a nicer shirt than the one he’d worn to the construction zone that his house currently was. I’d showered with him earlier in the day, making sure that I had a chance to put my hair and makeup together, allowing me to leave the house without Sidney’s hat.

I slipped into a dress and the heels that I knew drove Sidney crazy. I’d found that whenever I went for a visit, it was in my best interest to take them with me. They worked as the perfect bargaining chip, a way to convince Sidney of almost anything. They were a way to win any argument and distract him from all of his ills. As far as shoes were concerned, they were like magic.

He glanced down at the heels as I tucked the important items from my purse into a smaller pocketbook. I smirked in his direction.

“You’re asking for it.”

“Maybe,” I jibed.

“I should never take you in public.”

“You don’t have to; this was your bright idea.”

“I didn’t know you were going to wear those shoes.”

He kissed me quickly and pulled me towards the car.

The restaurant was nice, much better than the last one I’d eaten in in Pittsburgh. Sidney had called ahead and made sure that we were seated in a corner, out of the eye of people who might want to get a good look at the girl that was sitting with Sidney Crosby at dinner.

“I’m glad you’re here.”

“That’s like the fiftieth time you’ve said that since I got here.”

“I still mean it.”

“I know you do.”

“Are you going back to Minnesota for Thanksgiving?”

“I told you I’m yours for the rest of the month,” I replied with a shake of my head.

“Won’t your dad miss you?”

“He’s going fishing with a couple of his friends. He’ll be up at the cabin drinking more than anything else, but they’ll have fun at least.”

“So no celebration at all?”

“I’ve never liked it. I think I took history lessons to heart, got a little turned off by the whole stealing of the land and pillaging of the villages. I try to be thankful every day, not just when Hallmark tells me I should be. Sebastian says I’m a cynic.”

“You are a little cynical, I’ll give him that. But the being thankful every day thing, that’s not a bad way to do it. Especially in November. Thanksgiving isn’t in November.”

I laughed. “Canadian to the core, aren’t you?”

“I’d never deny it,” he replied, taking a sip of his whiskey. “So, what are you thankful for today?”

“A lot of things.”

“Tell me three.”

I considered my options and smiled at the look on his face as I made him wait for my response.

“I’m thankful that I finished two projects today, both of them for actual clients who pay actual money.”

“So the bills are paid, that’s good. What else?”

“I’m thankful to be my own boss; to make my own schedule.”

“Fair.”

“Mostly I’m thankful for you.”

He grinned. “I think that’s my favorite answer.”

“I think so too,” I paused to take a sip of my water, opting for a clear mind and also allowing Sid to relax if he wanted more than a couple of drinks over dinner. Designated driving was fine, especially when it allowed Sidney to loosen up. “What are you thankful for?”

“I get to do what I love for a living…when they allow it anyway. I’m thankful for my health. I don’t have to worry about the headaches or the nausea anymore. It’s like I’m finally on solid ground again, and that’s a huge blessing.”

“Both are wonderful things.”

“You more than anything.”

“Oh really?”

“Especially when you wear those shoes.”

“Always with the jokes.”

“That’s not even remotely a joke.”