The Anthem for a Dying Breed

Even though Aleena refused to admit that her little "hang out" with Tony was a date, I still called it that and reminded her of it at every chance I get.

"What kind of date doesn't end with a kiss?" I scoffed as we walked through the site, Adam on my right, Aleena on my left, Danny and Ben following behind like a couple of lost puppies which they had gained a habit of the last couple of days.

"It wasn't a fucking date so shut your fucking mouth!" Aleena exclaimed making me snigger and fall back into step with Danny and Ben before she hit me.
"We're getting a divorce."

"Bitch, please, you'll be back and begging in seconds. You can't live without me." I looked up at Danny then.
"We should write a song called back and begging."

"We should." He agreed nodding and put his arm around my shoulder but quickly removed it earning a confused expression.
"Austin." He mumbled making me look over to see Austin was sat at a little table outside Sleeping With Siren's bus with Gabe and looking our way.

I was surpised he didn't look away when I looked his way, usually he avoided all eye contact but the fact he kept the gaze up made me think things were improving.
I certainly didn't expect him to rise to his feet before heading straight for me so in my shock I grabbed out for Danny but as he had continued to walk on with the others, there was no-one to grab so I stumbled and nearly fell.

When Austin reached me, I had my back to him, my hands in my pockets, trying to act cool despite the fact I had just made a fool out of myself.

"Hey." He spoke softly, announcing his arrival which seemed funny to me. His scent was something that I tuned into faster than most and I noticed it before he had stopped walking.

"Oh, hi." I replied turning to look up at him, chewing on my lip awkwardly.
"You saw me nearly fall, didn't you?"

"Yeah." He chuckled rubbing his neck.
"What was that about?"

"I was reaching for Danny but he wasn't there."

"Oh, right." He nodded.
"You're looking good."

"You mean you're no longer disgusted by the sight of me." He frowned and shook his head lightly.

"I never was disgusted by the sight of you."

"Bullshit."

"Rayne." He sighed.
"You're beautiful and some stupid hickeys can't change that."

"If only you thought that back then." I crossed my arms over my chest and shifted my weight onto my other foot.
"Is there a reason you were staring at me?"

"I want to talk."

"Will it take long because I'm pretty certain I have someplace else to be?"
It was a complete lie, I had nowhere to be but being a bitch was a natural reflex when it came to awkward and possibly emotionally harmful situation which I felt was going to happen.

"You're really pissed at me, aren't you?"

"Gold star for the deductions, Holmes."

"Maybe I should give you some more time." He turned and started to walk off and through instinct, I reached out to grab his hand making him stop but he didn't fully turn to me, just looked over his shoulder at me.
"Are you going to stop being bitchy?"

"You fucking hurt me, Austin, I have every fuckign right to act like a bitch."

"I'm not the one that slept with one of your best friends, how would you feel if you slept with Aleena?"

"First of all, that would never happen because she knows I'd fucking decapitate her if she placed anything other than a friendly finger on you-"

"That's not the point I'm trying to make." He sighed turning fully, wrapping his fingers around my hand.
"Can we just talk, no problems just talk this out?"

"So long as you don't bullshit me anymore, I can handle it."

"Then let's go somewhere else, where we can sit."

"There's a field near by, got a nice view." I offered, smiling lightly when he nodded.
"This way."

***

"Be blunt with me, do you even like me?" I asked after a good half an hour of nonsense chatter.
Even though we had sat down with the intention of talking about what happened, we got sidetracked and I'm pretty sure it had a lot to do with the fact Austin was nervous, I could see it in his whole body language.
Sure, I was enjoying the light hearted conversations, the little mentions of personal memories but I agreed to talk to him with something in mind and I don't do well when people don't stick to their word.

"Of course I do." He responded instantly, even though I cut him off midsentence while he was talking about a song he heard on the radio that morning and was trying to figure out if I knew what it was so he could download it.
"Just because I broke up with you, it doesn't mean I don't like you."

"That's usually what that shit means, mate."

"I guess." He licked at the corners of his lips before turning to face me, his legs ending up either side of me due tot he fact he found it difficult to cross his legs, so in turn, I swiveled to face him my legs curled under me.
"I have a lot of trust issues."

"So you don't trust me?"

"As a friend, more than a lot of people I know. Relationship wise, I'm not so sure."

"Let me guess, the Danny thing." I sighed.
"You know, I'd never intentionally fuck you over like that, or anyone for that matter. I didn't know you liked me and even if I did, we weren't together so there's shit all you can say about that in all honestly. In truth, it's got jack shit to do with you."

"Right." He looked down at the grass between his open thighs and started to pick at blades, ripping them from the ground.
"Everyone's been saying that."

"Well then you should realise it's the truth."

The grass picking was a defense mechanism, a distraction so I took his hands into my own, hoping to calm him plus, it was just plain ol' getting on my nerves.

"I'm not saying that you should be all peaches and cream about it, I'm just saying stop using it as a bullshit reason to break us up."

"It's not a bullshit reason, it's a genuine one. You blew me off to fuck some guy, you think I'm going to be able to be with a girl that does that?"

"I'm not the kind of girl to cheat, Austin. I'm fucking loyal, alright, ask Aleena, I've only had like two others wives and one of those we sort of shared and the other, well that was short lived while Aly and I were on a break but that doesn't count, any of that because you know, it's not technically real but my point it, I would never ditch you for anyone or fuck someone else, alright?"

Austin stared at me for a good handful of minutes, thinking carefully about his next move before nodding slightly.

"I'm just not used to this." He admitted.
"I need to tell you something but promise you won't tell anyone or laugh at me." He begged, shuffling closer so I nodded instantly, holding his hands tighter.
"Well, I uh, also partly I'm kind of, scared to be with you, not because of the trust thing, that doesn't come into this it's just that I-" He bit his lip and leant back.
"I can't say this."

"You've nothing to be scared about, you know I wouldn't do any bad, right? Like, I'm the biggest fucking kitten going, I don't hurt people."

"It's not about hurting, it's about something else, the opposite really."

"Okay, I'm lost, give it to me blunt, Carlile."

"I've only ever been with one girl."

"Like, relationship?"

"No."

"Sex?" He nodded, his whole face tinging pink.
"You think I give a shit about that?" I laughed.
"I couldn't give a shit if you're the most inexperienced guy going, Austin,w hen I like a guy, I like a guy. Things like sexual experience mean jack all to me. Plus, it's not like you wouldn't learn as we went I mean, I'm not exactly going to hold back in a relationship. You want to fuck straight after a show even though your'e all sweaty and I'm nice and clean, fuck it, why the hell not? you want to be all cute and make love to me in the shower even though there's a massive line, let those fuckers wait my guy wants to get down and dirty, we're going to get down and dirty."

"So you're not at bothered you'd have to teach me a lot?"

"Not at all, it'll mean you're tailored to what makes me feel good, not some other woman."

"That's a relief." He chuckled.
"I was really scared you'd call me pathetic or something."

"Nope, nothing wrong with having few or no sexual partners at your age. Just some people think it's more of a special thing than others. I mean, I think it's special and everything but sometimes I don't care about that and just need it." I shrugged.
"And this conversation is going to end now because talking about sex only makes me want it and going to Danny will only cause more shit."

"Why would you go to Danny?" He frowned.
"I'm right here and willing to learn."

"Just because we've talked it out, it doesn't mean I'm going to get back to anything with you yet, Austin."

"So you're still mad?"

"A bit." I shrugged.
"But nothing that time won't fix."

"How much time?"

"I can't imagine long. I can't stay mad at you."

He smiled and pulled me onto his lap to wrap his long arms around my body, holding me against his chest.
"But friend wise, we're good? We cna hang out and watch the sunset again?"

"We can do that, so long as you don't try and seduce me."

"I'm not going to try and seduce you." he laughed.

"And you have to keep your t-shirt on around me at all times."

"What? Why?"

"Because you look too good with it off." He laughed again as I pouted up at him.
"I'm serious, it's fucking teasing, don't do it."

"Alright, alright fine."

"Good."