The Anthem for a Dying Breed

"I feel bad." I stated, pushing Austin away gently.

"What? Am I doing this wrong?" He asked frowning down at me with disappointment shining bright in his eyes. "I thought I was doing really well."

"You are, you're doing great." I sighed, shuffling to sit up and slipping my t-shirt back onto my torso.

"Then what what's wrong?" My lanky boyfriend questioned worry flittering onto his face as he sat opposite me, hunched over due to the fact we were in his bunk and like I've already mentioned, he's a tall fucker.

"I've been neglecting Adam."

"What?"

"To be with you, I've pushed the dude aside and it's not cool."

"You see him everyday, Rayne, you eat breakfast with him, spend hours every day sending him texts and showing him pictures you take, if anything, you neglect that Mikey guy you met a while ago."

"He's busy, on a different tour, not near me, in a different time zone and doesn't have a crush on me."

"I'm pretty sure he does, just respects that."

"You didn't mention the fact I just revealed Adam's crush on me."

"I kind of figured that out when we first met." He confessed. "When I asked him about it, he said that you clearly don't return his feeling-"

"I did."

"What?" Austin's face fell. "You like him?"

"I did but then you came along and I kind of couldn't focus on anyone but you in the romantical sense."

"That's one of the sweetest things you've ever said to me." He chuckled and kissed me gently.

"Bet it doesn't beat the time I told you your fingers are probably carved by Eros."

"Your obsessed with my fingers."

"They're long, I like long."

"Good for you all of me is long."

"Is it now?" I smirked and he put his hands over his face.

"The useful part isn't." I could only laugh and pull his hands away as he tried to hide in embarassment.

"It's okay baby, no matter I can teach you how to use it right."

"You sure? That's a lot of teaching, as far I'm aware it goes in and out."

"ohmygod." I fell onto my side as I burst into laughter.

"Don't laugh at me! I'm serious!" He responded but his laughter let me know he wasn't angry or upset so, I continued to laugh until it subsided naturally. "I've been writing." He stated softly when I looked back up at him.

"Hm?"

"And it's all about you."

"That's silly."

"I know but you're all I think about. I know I usually write a lot about shit stuff but I can't bring it up when I put pen to paper."

"Why not write about the time I fucked Danny?"

"I don't want people to think bad of you."

"Shit happens, Austin." I sat up and shuffled closer to him. "It's in the past anyway, it no longer makes a difference to us, well not to me, you're not still caught up on it, are you?"

"I don't like that it happened but I'm not mad at you anymore."

"Then write about it, get it out. You're a musician, Austin, this is the shit you need to write about, you need to scream it from the top of your lungs so it's not bottled up and one day, it just makes you snap."

"But I'll feel really bad. I'm going to me bad mouthing you and you'll know it, a lot of people will know it, don't you think it'll be worse?"

"Not if I write my side too."

"You're going to write with me?"

"I didn't mean that I'll write a song with you because for you to get it out, you'll need to perform it and because this is personal to us, I don't want some other person singing my feelings."

"Then you sing it."

"No."

"Come on."

"No."

"Babe, please."

"No, now fuck me."

"Okay." He grinned and pressed his lips to mine.

***

"You look happy." Aleena commented as I skipped onto the bus and flopped down next to her.

"I am." I responded cuddling up to her side and resting my head on her shoulder awkwardly.

"Glad one of us is."

"What's wrong sugar plum?"

"Turtle is acting weird."

"He is weird."

"Towards me weird, actually, let me rephrase that, he's completely ignoring me. I've text him and everything but, nothing." She sighed.

"He's probably jealous, baby cakes-"

"Can you stop with all those names, not in the mood, Ray."

"Aright, fine." I sat up and turned to look at her, putting on my serious face. "You two and both awkward as fuck with this whole relationship business and let's face it, he's not a confident kinda guy which sucks because he should be but he isn't and you literally spent all day curled up with Alex on the sofa and nobody knows what that's about even I do-"

"He's having Jalex drama."

"What?"

"You won't tell anyone, will you, especially not Jack because I know how close you two can be some days."

"Swear it."

"Alex thinks he's in love with Jack."

"Oh, shit. What's going on with that then? Is he going to make a move or something?"

"They're all having a break after Warped, no tour for a couple months so he's going to see what things are like then and figure it out."

"Okay." I nodded slowly as I absorbed all that was said. "But seriously, Tony is probably jealous or just thinking you're up in Alex's panties."

"So he doesn't trust me?"

"No, he trusts you a lot, probably with everything but he just thinks you can do better than him and no-one can convince him otherwise right now. Trust me, this kinda thing, it'll happen but I guess you've just either got to see how this number plays out or prove yourself to Turtle."

"Well, which one?"

"No clue, he's your man."

"I like your advice better when you're miserable."

"Yeah, so do I." I shrugged. "But I'm insanely happy for the first time in a long time so you're stuck with half arsed words of wisdom."

"Yeah, I know and I'm happy for you, I really am."

"You should also be proud of me, I just taught Austin how to give me multiple orgasms before he came."

"Eww." She shuddered and pushed me off the sofa as I laughed at her disgust. "Never wanted to know that, need to burn those words out of my brain."

"Me too." Adam muttered from the table.

"I thought you were listening to music." I muttered, pointing to my ears to show I meant the earphones he had in. "Sorry."

"Don't worry." He shrugged. "I already know you two fuck, it's not like this has fucked me up or anything. Just glad he's good for you."

"Me too." I smiled lightly which he responded before looking back at his laptop screen. Aleena looked between the two of us for a few more seconds before looking at me confused.

"What was that about?" She asked rather loudly.

"Nothing." I responded, not wanted to spill Adam's secret even if the girl was my best friend.

"I told Ray I like her." Adam stated, eyes still on the screen as he tapped the keys.

"And that's why you were being all moody." She noted, connecting the dots as Adam nodded in confirmation.

"Yeah, let's get back to you and Tone." I spoke, gianing her attention once again. "What're you going to do because we've only got like four days left on tour and I think you need to fix this before then."