The Anthem for a Dying Breed

It was the last day and the whole reality of the situation had finally kicked in. It raged in my stomach and travelled to the back of my throat, threatening to spill out but then again, that could've just been the alcohol from the night before.

Austin shuffled closer to me, eyes still shut and head moving onto my thighs. I hadn't slept much that night which was rare for me, I took as much sleep as my body would give me and sometimes even more than that.

Even though when we stumbled back to the Of Mice & Men bus early that morning, all that was on my mind was Austin and how perfect he was, especially in less clothing, I still couldn't sleep, there was a nagging at the back of my mind that I couldn't quite straighten out until sobreity kicked in only after two hours of sleep and the whole situation became crystal clear.
I had to break up with the man who made me happier than anyone else ever has and I doubted anyone else would ever quite reach the standrad he had set in the romance depertment.

Austin shuffled again but this time, I knew he would wake up. As soon as his eyes were open, he turned to look up at me from where I sat in his bunk, fingers still running through his short hair.

"Morning." I greeted as he yawned and stretched before moving to sit next to me, slouched down so he could rest his head on my shoulder.

"What's the time?"

"Eleven."

"Seriously?" He groaned and I nodded, reasting my head on his and curling my legs up onto his. "What's wrong?" I didn't respond, just stared down at where the skin of our thighs touched, admiring the tattoos meshing together. "Babe?"

"Can we just stay like this for a while?" I asked softly, not daring to speak up in fear of my voice breaking and giving away that I was planning something rather upsettnig.

"Anything you want." He agreed and in an instant, I curled up, pressing my forehead to my knees and holding my legs tight, my body shaking slightly as I tried to control myself. "Ray? You're scaring me, what's going on?" He questioned, his voice quiet, scared.

"It's too soon." I stammered, shaking my head. "It can't happen yet."

"What can't? Rayne." He pulled me upright and onto his lap so i had to look at him. "Why're you crying, what's going on?"

"This hurts, it really hurts." I sobbed looking all over his face, trying to take in as much as I could knowing I wouldn't get the chance to see him in a long time.

"What hurts? Do you need a doctor?" I shook my head. "Then what?"

"I-I can't."

"Can't what?"

"It's too soon."

"You're not making any sense."

"I don't want to make sense because then you'll know and it'll all be too real." He held my face, preventing me from looking down like I wanted to, he knew what I was going to do before I even started to do it. He knew me so well and it hurt so much.

"Baby come on talk to me." He pressed our foreheads together and that was it, I knew I couldn't wait, I couldn't put it off to have some more hours with his hand in mine.

"No more baby."

"What?"

"Not anymore." He went stiff for a second before leaning back slightly to lookat me. He knew. He already nkew what was happening. The liquid building in his eyes told me so.

"No, you're not saying what I think you're saying."

"I-I have to."

"No, you don't."

"I do."

"Why?" He sniffed and wiped at his eyes. "Have I done something wrong?"

"No, you're perfect." I choked out. I knew it'd be hard but I never expected it to be this hard. "You're so fucking perfect that's why it hurts so much. You're perfect but I've got to. I can't be with you anymore."

"No no no, Rayne don't. Please don't."

"Aleena needs me, I have to, she needs me to be with her."

"You can just don't break up with me." He begged, no longer trying to wipe away the tears that rolled down his cheeks. "I need you."

"Austin, please don't say that, this is hard enough already."

"I do, you make me so fucking happy, Rayne."

"You make me happy to, Austin." I leant forward, leaning my head on his shoulder. "But I can't do this. This timing isn't right. This isn't the right time."

"When will it be the right time?"

"I don't know."

"Will there ever be a right time?"

"I don't know." I crawled off of him to start pulling on my clothes from the night before but he stopped me, jeans around my thighs and pulled me between his legs to hold me tight, his bare chest against my barely covered back. "Austin please don't make this harder." I pleaded, my voice weak, trying to stop another round of tears from spilling.

"You can't just leave me like this." He muttered, kissing my shoulder.

"Aus-"

"I'm not stopping you from leaving me, I wouldn't force you to stay I just don't think we should end on a bad note."

"Okay." I nodded leaning back against him and shimmying back out of my jeans. "Let's make these last moments count.

***
Most people would probably say I had no right to be upset, I was the one that broke up with Austin in the first place and it ended as loving as it started so I shouldn't have been upset but I was. In fact upset probably isn't the right word, let's try distraught. Even though I hadn't known him a massive amount of time and been with him even less, he still had made a massive impact on my life and I hated lettign him go.

"Holy shit." Were the first words Aleena said when I walked onto our bus, eyes red and swollen, shirt buttoned up wrong and shoes in my hand.

"What happened?" Adam asked, as wide eyed as Alex and Ben.

"I-." Was all I managed before bursting into tears again, Aleena running over and pulling me into her arms.

The three boys had no idea what had happened but they all rushed over to join the embrace.

"Where are-" Danny yelled entering the bus but shut up and in a second, everyone but Aleena had let go of me for Danny to wrap his arms around my waist and hold me tight, singing gently into my ear like he always did when I was upset. Soon enough, thanks to Danny's voice, I had calmed down. "You did it, didn't you?" He asked softly as I turned to face him once Aleena had let me go, stating she was going to find some chocolate to make me feel better.

"Yeah." I answered nodding slightly.

"It'll start to hurt less." He announced.

"When?"

"About three bottles in." He joked making me laugh. "There's my beautiful bestie. Come on." He lead me to the sofa and sat down, pulling me against his side so I curled up and shut my eyes, finally feeling the sleep approaching that I so desperately needed.

"What happened?" I heard Alex whisper to Aleena in his not actually whispering voice.

"She broke up with Austin." Aleena responded with her normal talking voice, knowing that I'd rather she tell them all at once than having to explain myself.

"What? Why?" Adam questioned shocked.

"To travel around Spain with me, she thought being with him now just doesn't make sense."

"And that's the idea." Danny stated. "Let's just drop it and cheer her up."

"You could let me sleep." I grumbled.

"Alright." Danny agreed holding me tighter.

I don't know what happened after that, I fell asleep too fast but I'm certain Aleena and Danny explained in better detail because when I woke up, they were all back to normal and ready to make me laugh if it was the last thing they did.

***

Saying goodbye was hard for us all. I could barely even look Austin in the eye when he arrived to wave Aleena and I off in our taxi.

"I'm going to miss you." Alex stated to Aleena as I stood with Adam, arm linked into his, Austin on my other side. I could tell he wanted to reach out and hold my hand, I wanted to do the same but we couldn't, our end had happened but something even so minor as touching hands would start it all off again, we both knew it.

"It's going to be weird without you two idiots." Adam suddenly announced.

"I know but I'm sure you can survive without us for a few months." I responded. "But if you miss us so much you can always call us."

"I know and I will, I want to know everything you've been getting up to."

"And I you." I nodded and let go as the last of our things were packed into the car.

"Even though you creep me out, I'm kinda bummed you're not coming on tour with us." Alan announced when I was bidding him farewell.

"Bitch, you loved flirty times." I replied making him laugh. "Keep an eye on the BFG for me, alright?" I asked quietly, making sure Austin couldnt hear.

"I will." He nodded.

"Good." I smiled and hugged him before turning and heading to the car only to stop to turn and look over everyone, make sure I had said goodbye to everyone.

Once Aleena was by my side we both climbed into the car and turned to watch waving figured get smaller and smaller until finally, they were out of sight.

"That's one adventure over with." Aleena noted when we turned around to sit comfortably for the fourty minute drive.

"Now to start another one."

We grinned at eachother, excited to start a whole new chapter. We had no idea what it'd bring but one thing was for sure we were certainly going to make the most of it.