The Trouble With Lust Is...

I looked outside, the sun was high as I looked at my father and sighed. His eyes were closed, and his mustache had turned into a light beard the whole time I was away in New York City. Grabbing his hand, I couldn’t help but squeeze it; but it fell as soon as I let go.

“Ms. Flores?”

I turned to see the doctor walk in with a lady in a pressed suit and clipboard. She smiled at me but I could sense her sympathy. Something I didn’t want. “Yes?”

“I’m Doctor Lancer, this is Mrs. Avery. She’s goes through all the documents, and we need to speak to you.”

“O-Okay.” I stood up and walked over to them.

“So, basically what is happening now is that your father has been on a tracheal tube and hasn’t shown any improvement since he’s been here. Along with a few other problems, it seems like he isn’t going to get any better. Now, I know you’re hopeful, but because he’s suffered from a massive heart attack this morning we don’t think he’s going to survive this. Now I want to—“

She continued to talk but half way through I zoned out and I felt my breath stolen from my body as I was falling. I felt my skull hit the floor and then I blanked out.

The pinching feeling I felt on my right hand woke me up as I opened my eyes and looked around. I lay in a hospital bed with an IV attached to my hand. Trey was sitting on the chair next to mine when he noticed me looking at him.

“Thank god, I didn’t know what to do. I went to get some breakfast and when I came back to your father’s room, they were putting you on a bed and pushing you away. They said you passed out.”

“How’s my father?” I asked but I knew. I heard what the doctor said before I blanked out.
He moved toward me shaking his head. I didn’t know what to do but cry. I covered my face and started sobbing uncontrollably. He rubbed my back, but all I wanted to do was scream.

“How did it happen?” I wiped my eyes and grabbed a tissue to blow my nose.

“Dr. Lancer said he came in last week, someone brought him in and dropped him off. They said he just collapsed on the floor and no one could wake him up. Somebody gave him CPR, but by the time he got to the hospital there wasn’t much they could do.”

“Why did it have to happen to him? Why wasn’t I here with him? Taking care of him? I should’ve never gone away--” I blamed myself; I knew I should’ve waited till he remarried. At least then he would have had someone to watch over him. Instead he was alone and I knew it was my fault.

Trey threw his arms over me, trying to soothe my mind. I cried and cried in his arms till my eyes were bloodshot and my head ached.

An hour later the doctor came in and began to explain to me what I needed to know, telling me what options I had. He left me with some papers to sign, but I just looked at them, and handed them to Trey.

“What are you going to do?” he asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t know, what would you do?”

“Do you have any other family members that can help you with this, maybe an aunt or uncle?”

I swallowed hard, stifling the urge to just bash something. “No, my mom died almost three years ago. I’m an only child, so was she. My dad grew up with his grandmother but she died years ago. I don’t have anyone else. It’s just me and my dad.”

I felt antsy and out of place. I wanted out of this hospital, I needed to get away. “Give me the papers.” I demanded.

He handed them over with a pen, unsure. I scanned through it, and then signed it. Handing it back to him, I looked at the IV needle and yanked it out.

He looked at me shocked. “What are you doing? You can’t do that.” He placed the folder down, and tried to hold onto me.

“Get off of me, I need to see him.” I pushed passed him exiting the room.

I reached his room and after all the crying I couldn’t cry anymore. I climbed into his bed, and laid my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes and exhaled. My father was gone and I couldn’t do anything about it.