The Trouble With Lust Is...

I stood behind Sandreya as a pastor said a few last words. Her father, Mr. Flores was being buried today, right along with a part of Sandreya. She completely shut down and hasn’t said more than two words to anyone in over three days. She hasn’t even shed a tear, even while she stared at his coffin.

I couldn’t begin to wonder what was going on in her head. She stood alone in her house because she didn’t want to see anyone. I looked to her left, and noticed Ella grab her hand, and hold it. She didn’t even flinch.

The casket was being lowered, than finally covered with dirt before anyone spoke. My mother looked at Sandreya, and pulled her into a tight hug. She whispered into her ear, than kissed her on her forehead. Nothing seemed to get her out of her trance-like state.

My dad spoke briefly to the pastor before walking over, and replying “Okay, so I spoke to your father’s lawyer, and you have a meeting with me tomorrow. Your father had a will, and we need to go through some things.” He looked at her but she just stood there, unmoved. He looked over to me, and I just shook my head.

I placed her into a tight hug and finally I could feel her hugging me back. “What are you going to do? Are you staying home?”

“Yeah.” She mumbled.

We stood there for a few more minutes before leaving. I didn’t know what to do to comfort her. She wasn’t the same Sandreya anymore. Her hazel eyes were empty, and I couldn’t do anything about it.

We reached her house, and I waited as she opened the door. She placed the keys on a hook, and made her way toward the kitchen. I slowly made my way behind her to find her with her head tucked inside the freezer. I could her a muffled sound, then her moving away from the freezer, and sliding onto the floor with her hands covering her face. She silently cried.

“Dreya?” I rushed over to her, but she quickly held her hand up.

“No, please. Just go.”

“I can’t leave you alone. You shouldn’t be alone.” I moved closer, and knelt down next to her. The cool air from the freezer gave me chills.

“Trevor, I beg you. Please just leave. I have to be alone.”

“But—“

“JUST GO!” she screamed while moving away from me.

I looked at her unsure of what to do. I mean, what could I do for her? This was unknown territory, and I didn’t want make things worse for her. But should I just abandon her because she wants me too?

I moved toward her, and grabbed her hand pulling us up, and embraced her into a hug. She banged on my chest and screamed, but I couldn’t let go. Even if I was confused with the relationship we had, and confused about what to do now; I knew I couldn’t just leave her by herself.

“I can’t leave you alone, I won’t.” I exclaimed as she continued to fight with me.

“Why do you even care? We’re just some stupid Mexicans, remember? We are nothing, do you remember telling me that last year?” she continued to question me, as I pulled her in tighter.

Grabbing a fistful of my shirt she continued to cry, and swear, and mumble some things in Spanish. I was speechless. Just a few months ago I hated this girl, now she stood crying in my arms, and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. She didn’t deserve this; she didn’t deserve to have the only person left in her life taken away. I rubbed her back until she quieted down.

Wiping her nose with the back of hand, she replied “I’m okay, I swear. You can go.”

“Quit trying to get rid of me, I’m not leaving.” I walked over to her fridge, and discovered only a dried lemon, and a half eaten carton of Chinese rice. I looked at Sandreya as she stood quietly. “It’s empty, when was the last time he went food shopping?”

She shrugged unsure. “Well, before all of this happened he called me a day before, and we spoke for a half hour. He never told me he was sick. He never mentioned anything. I should’ve known something was up. All he wanted to do was talk about me, like he was deflecting my questions.”

“What do you think was going on with him?” I shut the fridge door, and headed toward a pile of mail on the table. “Have you gone through his mail?”

“No, I didn’t even think about that. It looks like a lot of bills.” She picked up the pile, and started scanning through them. Picking up a letter from a life insurance agency she tore it open and began reading it.

She looked at me midway confused. “It says he had a life insurance policy on himself. Dated a few weeks after my mother passed. He was paying a premium, I didn’t even know about this.”

I grabbed the letter, and read it. “When you see my father tomorrow, you can ask him everything.”

“Do you think your father knew my father was sick? I mean, he wouldn’t keep that to himself, right?” she continued to look through the mail, never meeting my eyes.

“I don’t think so. I mean, my dad’s a lawyer, not a cold hearted monster. I’m sure he would’ve said something if he knew.” Right after saying that I knew it sounded false, I knew what kind of person my father was. I just hoped he had the sense to help Mr. Flores out if he needed it.

We continued looking through his mail, and as the sun settled she finally fell asleep. I decided to look around the small house while she slept. She looked so peaceful, but I knew the demons she was fighting, I knew all the hurt she felt was building up as she slept.

They lived in a pretty decent house with wall-to-wall pictures of Sandreya, and her mother. Tons of awards hung in the living room, along with plaques, and trophies. I always knew Sandreya was an over achiever, but I never knew to what extent.

A large portrait of the Flores family hung in the middle and I instantly knew where Sandreya received her looks from. Her mother had the same Hazel eyes, and long brown hair. They even had the same smile, where as Mr. Flores looked so different from the two. Staring at the family I immediately knew how off the family seemed. I wondered what their family secrets were.

Mr. Flores room was a small tidy room, with two pairs of sneakers lined up by the side of his bed. A picture of his wife, and Sandreya sat on the side table along with an alarm clock, and a few bottles of prescriptions. I grabbed one, and read it. Apparently he was suffering from Angina, hypertension, and high blood pressure. He even had a nearly emptied bottle of pills for migraines.

I continued to look around till I reached Sandreya’s room. A single twin bed sat by the window, and the walls were filled with pictures of her and Ella. On her vanity table she had a picture of her parents, and a few of her awards stood next to it. There wasn’t anything special about the room, and yet it reminded me so much of her.

“What are you doing?”

I turned around to see Sandreya leaning on her door. “Nothing, I just wanted see how you lived.”

“And?” she asked intrigued.

“You were a total nerd. I don’t think I’ve ever seen as many awards, and trophies in my whole life.”

She walked closer to me, and placed her hands behind my neck before kissing me. It took me off guard but I accepted her kiss anyway. She pushed me on top of her bed, than straddled me. I wasn’t sure if this was real, if she knew what she was doing, so I pushed her away, and slid her off of me.

She looked wounded, then slightly angry. “What the hell, Trey?”

“We shouldn’t be doing this.”

She tried to push herself on top of me again, but I stood up, and back away. This made her even more upset, and I was prepared to give in. “Get out!” she demanded while pointing at her door.

“But—“I dejected.

“GET OUT!”” She jumped off her bed, and pulled me out of her room, and continued to pull on my shirt till we reached the front door. “Just go.”

I wanted to stay with her, her actions were just so irrational and I was worried she might do something bad if I wasn’t in her sights. “No, I’m not leaving you alone.”

She swung her door open, and tried to push me out. I held onto her waist, afraid she might start swinging at me. Then, she kneed me in my groin, and I felt like the wind was knocked out of me as I collapsed to the floor. She looked at me angrily before slamming the door.

I exhaled as many times as I could before standing on my feet. I should’ve tried to get back inside, but I knew this was a battle I lost. I looked at her door once more before leaving.

If she wanted space then I’d give it to her.