Touched by an Angel, Though I Fall Out of Grace

*May 20, 2005*
*Gerard's POV*

Four months and eight days. That's how long it's been since Brittany disappeared. It was killing me not knowing what had happened to her. I sighed as I put on my black button down shirt. There was a knock on my door and then my mom entered.

"Gerard, honey, are you almost ready to go?" she asked.

"Umm, yeah. I'll be out in a minute." I answered as she left. I grabbed my blue cap and gown and then made my way upstairs.

My dad glanced at the watch on his wrist and said, "We better leave now, so you're not late."
My family and I made our way out the door. Instead of riding with our paretns, Mikey and I clambered into my car and followed after the vehicle in front of us. Once in the school parking lot, Mikey placed a hand on my arm and asked, "How are you doing?"

I swallowed and said, "I'm managing. I miss her so fucking much and it hurts. I just want her back. I feel responsible. If I would have walked her home that day, she'd still be here."

"Don't beat yourself up, it's not your fault. Now c'mon, you've got a graduation to attend."

The two of us walked into the school's event center. I noticed the guys, Jamia, Alicia, Christa and a girl I was assuming was Kaitlin. Ray, Bob and I made our way to the guy's side of the stage, prepared to march to our seats.

After everyone had been seated, Mrr. Bradley walked up to the podium. It went on like that, speech after speech, until they started calling our names for our diplomas.

Once again, Mr. Bradley got back to the microphone to say, "Congratulations, class of 2005. It's time for you to go out into the world and make something of yourselves." As he walked away, confetti fell around us, people sprayed silly string and a few others blew air horns.

"We did it!" Ray yelled, happily.

"Hell yeah, we did!" Bob responded as our family and friends came down for photos.

"I don't mean to intrude on such a personal moment, but I have something for the three of you," I heard, making me look up. Mrs. Davis stood in front of us and a whole new wave of heartache crashed over me. She reminded me so much of Brittany.

"Here you go," she said, handing me, Ray and Bob slender rectangular boxes adorned with blue and gold ribbon. We opened them to find silver watches. We thanked her and she shook her head.

"It was no problem, you all meant something to my daughter. Congratulations, boys." she told us before turning and leaving.

"It's time to party!" Frank said as he, Mikey, Damon and Steven made their way to us.

"Yeah, my parents are letting us use the old barn on our property," Christa announced as we all walked to the parking lot.

**~~**~~**~~**

It had been an hour since graduation and we were all sitting in Christa's parents' barn, drinking and joking around... well, everyone else was joking around, I was nursing my second bottle of beer and staring at the flames of the fire we had started.

"Hey, Gerard!" Alicia called. "Come meet my friend, Lindsey."

I walked over to them and noticed the girl with black hair, dark brown eyes, red lips and tattoos on her left arm. She smiled at me and said, "I hear you graduated tonight."

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Congrats. I graduated just last year and now me and some friends have started a band."

"Cool," I said.

"We're called Mindless Self Indulgence. Have you ever heard of us?"

"Yeah, kinda." I answered and she smiled, placing a hand on my arm. I stiffened and she noticed. "What's wrong?" she wondered.

"Nothing," I lied, throwing my bottle on the ground causing the glass to break and the amber liquid to spill onto the ground. "It was nice meeting you, Lizzie." I walked away, waved goodbye to the others and headed to my car, speeding home.

Once inside, I collapsed on the couch and let my tears fall. She was gone. The girl I was in love with was gone and she wasn't coming back. The police had stopped searching; some had assumed that she ran away and others had said that she might be dead. I refused to believe either theory. Brittany wouldn't have just run away, she had a good life here and she was happy and I couldn't even stomach the idea of her being dead.

"Gerard, is that you?" I heard my mom ask.

"Y-yes," I said, my voice cracking.

"What's the matter, honey?" she wondered, sitting next to me.

"She's gone. Brittany's gone and she's not coming back."

"I know this is hard for you, but I promise you that she's okay."

"The police don't seem to think so," I sobbed.

"That doesn't mean anything. Don't give up faith and she'll come back home one day. Now, why don't you go on down to your room and get some sleep?"

I nodded and headed to my room. I changed clothes and crawled into bed. "Please just let her be okay," I whispered as a few more tears fell before I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep.