I Want Crazy

Tom and Grey were both quiet as they made their way back up to Tom’s room. Tom wrung her hands between her fingers nervously. She wondered why she was so nervous for she had done this so many times before. Tom shook her head with a nervous laugh.

Grey looked to her with furrowed brows. “What’s so funny?”

Tom hesitated, opening and closing her mouth before actually coming up with an answer. “Nothing. I just - Tonight wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be.”

Grey smiled. “You thought tonight was going to be bad? Well, that makes me feel fantastic.”

“Oh, gosh, no.” Tom said quickly. “Not because of you. But because of me. I know you had made a point of saying that this wasn’t a date, but even after that, I was still convinced that it was most of this week. And I don’t date.” The two stopped when they arrived outside Tom’s door. “I never really have. Well, one time back in high school but that ended horribly and I found that it’s just easier not to.” Tom revealed. “I’m so awkward anyway and I never know when I need to shut up and stop rambling.” She paused, finally looking to Grey who was watching her intently. Tom smiled. “Like right now. I’m rambling. I’m sorry.”

Grey shrugged. “I think it’s cute.”

Tom laughed quietly. “That’s hardly a word ever used to describe me.”

“Well, I just used it as one.” Grey pointed out. “Are you complaining?”

“No, I guess not.”

Grey smiled and took a step closer to her. “I had a great time tonight.”

Tom sucked in a breath. “Me, too.”

“And it was really nice getting to know you.” Grey said, still stepping closer.

Tom felt that her heart was going to burst out of her chest. That or it’d stop beating altogether. Tom nodded, eyes flashing to his lips as they grew closer to her own.

Grey stopped just before their lips touched. He was going to make her go the rest of the way.

Tom didn’t have time to think about it. So instead of thinking, she followed her gut. Tom pushed to her toes and pressed her lips to his.

Grey moved his hands up to hold her face, softly, in them.

Tom’s hands grabbed onto the sides of his jacket. She enjoyed the simplicity of the kiss for a few moments before she couldn’t take it anymore. Tom pulled him hard into her, making Grey stumble and hold her between him and the door.

Grey pulled away and laughed quickly, looking down both sides of the hallway, checking to see if anyone saw. “Are you okay?”

Tom nodded furiously. “You wanna come inside?” She asked. “DM is doing some doctor stuff so she won’t be back until morning.”

Grey licked his lips, let out a sigh, and took a step back.

Tom furrowed her brow. “Or not? I’m sorry. I guess I just thought that - ”

“No, uh, no. You - you definitely thought right, Tom, I promise.” Grey said, taking another step back. “You are - ” He gave her a once over. “You are so attractive and so sexy, but I don’t think I can do that. Right now. Tonight.”

Tom was at a loss for words. She avoided looking at him and looked down at her hands as they tied themselves together again. “You, uh, you don’t want to have sex with me?”

“Do I?” Grey faked deep thinking for a second. “Uh, yes, I do. But I can’t right now.”

“You can’t?” She said slowly, more to herself so she could grasp what he was saying.

Grey studied her and realized that this was really bugging her. “Okay. Let me tell you something.” He started. “When you came to my table that day a couple weeks ago with your sister, you said something to me that your sister told you. She said that she thought I was the guy that could calm you down.”

Tom shook her head. “Yeah, but that’s not why - ”

“I know. But it also gave me the impression that this is something that happens to you rather often. You meet a guy, have a few drinks, and go back to someone’s place for the night.”

Tom opened her mouth in shock and looked up at him.

“I’m not insinuating anything!” Grey stressed quickly. “I’m not judging you or looking down on you for anything that you’ve done with your life because it is your life.” He explained. “I just don’t want to be another one of those guys. I like you, Tom. I really like you. And I respect you and myself way too much to be just another number to you.”

Tom stared off down the hallway, not being able to respond to his brutal honesty.

Grey ran a hand through his curls. “Can you understand that?”

Tom bit her lip before shaking her head. “Hardly. But if that’s how you want it to be.” She shrugged. “I guess I don’t have a choice.”

“But you do have a choice. You can choose to either never see me again because of this or you can have dinner with me again the next time you can get away from studying.”

“I don’t know how to do that.” Tom admitted. “I don’t know how to date. Or be with a person. Or whatever people are saying it is anymore. I just don’t do it.”

Grey shrugged. “Its different with everybody. We can come up with our own way of seeing each other. If it’s dinner. If it’s studying. If it’s just passing each other in the hallways. I will be patient because I’d like to keep seeing you.”

Tom thought about it for a moment before nodding. “Okay.” She said quietly.

“Okay?”

Tom nodded again. “If you’ll help me study this weekend.”

“Yes, of course.” He quickly strode forward, returning his hand to either side of her face and kissed her again.

Tom put her hands on his wrists to stop him and push him away slightly. “You just - you need to be careful.”

“I won’t hurt you.” Grey said, laughing quietly.

“I’m not as worried about that as I am me hurting you.”

!@#$#@!

A couple of weeks later, Grey and Tom were getting along very well. The two hung out quite often and definitely enjoyed each other’s company. Tom found that she enjoyed having this relationship with Grey. They would study, go eat, walk around campus, and do the other little things people would do when they were dating. They had yet to actually have sex which, surprisingly, hasn’t bothered Tom. She had gone weeks without realizing that they really hadn’t sealed the deal yet. Of course, the one thing that reminded her, was the guy who needed it daily.

“I know this.” Tom stared down her at her lap, trying to come up with the answer. “I know that I know this.” She bit her lip and squished her eyes closed as if she could see the answer on the back of her eyelids. “It’s right here.” Tom said, pointing to the top of her head. “I can see it. It’s there. I just can’t - ”

“I can give you a hint.” Grey told her with an amused smile as he sat in her desk chair.

“No.” Tom said quickly. “I don’t need a hint because I know this. I remember this from class because the guy in front of me wouldn’t stop tapping his pen. I wanted to hit him across his dead so hard.”

“I never knew you could be so violent.”

Tom opened an eye. “I’m secretly violent.” She said with a smirk before closing her eyes again. “I don’t like to advertise it because shit happens. If people don’t know how violent I actually am, they’d never suspect that I did anything.”

“And if someone sees you commit this violent act? You don’t have that as an excuse if you have witnesses.”

Tom shrugged, opening her eyes and looking to him. “I can plead temporary insanity. All this studying made my brain explode and the only way I could fix myself was to severely injure some dude.”

Grey laughed. “You have a slightly twisted sense of humor.”

Tom smirked. “Are you regretting that dinner yet?”

Grey shook his head with a smile. “Absolutely not. I rather enjoy your way of thinking. It’s different from others. It’s refreshing.”

“Speaking of refreshing.” Tom smiled. She got up from her bed and went to her mini fridge to grab a couple of root beers.

Grey took the one she handed to her. “Do you know the answer yet?”

Tom groaned loudly. “I told you. I know what the answer is.”

“And you’ve yet to tell me what it is.”

Tom shook her head. “That’s because…” She paused. “I probably don’t really know it.” She sat to her bed and rubbed her forehead of it’s growing pain.

“Do you need the question again?”

“No, I got - ”

The door to Tom’s room chimed, interrupting her.

Tom showed a smile with the tilt of her head. “Saved by the bell.”

Grey laughed and shook his head. “Do not think you’re getting out of this one.”

“Drink your root beer!” Tom ordered, going to the door to answer it. She pressed the button for the door to slide open. “Hey, Jim.” Tom said, cheerfully when she saw him.

Jim was confused by her cheerfulness and furrowed his brow. “Hey, Tommy.”

She continued to smile at him. “Did you want something?” Tom asked finally.

“I was wondering if you wanted to study. Well, more than study, but you know how that does.” Jim smirked at her. “I could really - ”

“Actually…” Tom said quickly stopping him. “I’m studying with Grey right now.” She moved out of the way so Jim could see inside.

Jim leaned in and confirmed that Grey was inside, sitting at Tom’s desk chair, drinking the root beer that they drank when it was too early to actually start drinking. He showed a quick wave of his hand, trying not to show the scowl on his face. “Hey, Grey.” Jim said, his words covered in sarcastic cheeriness.

“Jim!” Grey called and got up from his spot, walking towards the other man, holding out his hand for it to be shaken.

Jim glanced at the hand but grabbed it anyway.

“How you been?” Grey asked.

“I’ve been good.” Jim said, taking his hand back and looking to Tom. “You know, it’s been a few weeks since we got together.”

Tom’s brow furrowed. “Really?” She shook her head. “That can’t be right.”

“Weeks, Tommy.” He said with a stern look.

Tom paused and scoffed at him. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize, but I can’t right now. I’m with Grey.” She gestured again to the man standing next to him.

Grey looked between the two. “Do I need to give the two of you a moment?”

“No,” Tom said at the same time that Jim said, “Yes.”

“No.” Tom repeated, putting her arm out to block Grey’s exit. We’re studying right now.” She looked back to Jim. “We’ll just have to study some other time. Maybe tomorrow.”

Jim looked to her, then Grey, and nodded his head. “Yeah, maybe tomorrow.” He turned away from the door and walked back to where he came from.

Tom pressed the button to slide the door shut and walked to her bed, throwing herself on it.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go hang out with him now?” Grey asked.

Tom nodded. “I’m sure. Jim is like a child. He wants something when he wasn’t it. He needs to know that it doesn’t work with me.”

Grey nodded, “Alright.” He moved to sit back down in the chair, glancing at the PADD on the desk. “So, do you know the answer?” Grey asked.

Tom groaned loudly. “No!”

!@#$#@!

Jim didn’t have anywhere else to go but back to his room. When he arrived, he saw that Leo was there, sleeping. Jim went over to the side of Leo’s bed and tapped the man’s face a few times. “Hey, Bones. Wake up.”

Leo groaned and waved his arm around, trying to get Jim to stop.

Jim just tapped his face again. “C’mon, Bones. Up. Or else I’ll be forced to actually slap your face.”

Leo groaned and sat up. “Dammit, Jim, what is so important?” He asked. “I got no sleep last night.”

“Yeah, I know. We need to talk.”

Leo scoffed. “About what?”

“How much we hate this Grey guy that Tom’s spending all of her time with.”

Leo laughed to himself, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. “Why am I not surprised?”

Jim furrowed his brow and sat across from Leo on his own bed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I hate to tell you this, kid, but you’re the only one who has a problem with Grey.”

Jim shook his head. “No, you hate him.”

“I don’t hate him.” Leo told Jim. “I find nothing wrong with the guy.”

Jim scoffed. “There are plenty of things wrong with him.”

Leo raised his brow. “Like what?”

Jim stumbled, “W-well for one, his name isn’t a name. It’s a fucking color.”

Leo shook his head, laughing.

“Don’t laugh. I’m serious. You do also realize that he’s taking Tom from us.”

“He’s not taking Tom from us.”

“He is!” Jim stressed. “When’s the last time you two got together.”

“The other day. We had lunch.”

“What?” Jim asked.

“Yeah.” Leo said. “She wanted a break. Wanted to get lunch. She comm-ed me.”

Jim paused, not being able to comprehend that Tom had hung out with Leo and not him.

Leo noticed his struggled. “I’m not sure what to tell ya, Jim. Tom’s kinda with Grey now.”

Jim narrowed an eye. “Does that mean they’re sleeping together?”

Leo laughed. “Maybe. Would that be so bad?”

Jim nodded. “Bones, this is Tom.”

“Yeah, the same Tom you convinced to go on the date with this same guy.”

“I did not.”

“You did.” Leo stressed. “She told me. Tom said that you encouraged it.”

Jim scoffed. “Since when did she start listening to me?”

Leo shook his head, not believing what this kid was spouting off. “Honestly, Jim. You need to just let it happen. If they’re together, let them be together. If that means she doesn’t have time to have her ‘study sessions’ with you anymore, then that’s what it means.”

Jim shakes his head, knowing he wasn’t going to let that happen. But he told Leo that he agreed. “Alright.” He said, lying. Jim had to do something.

!@#$#@!

When Tom showed up at Jim’s door to study the next day, Jim was definitely surprised that she was there. Jim was happy, nonetheless. He was finally getting to spend some time with his best friend. Even if they were studying.

After a couple of hours, Tom pushed herself out of her seated position on Jim’s bed and went to his mini-fridge. “You got any root beer?” She asked, helping herself.

Jim turned from his own spot that was across from her on the bed. he saw that she already had a bottle in her hand and was popping the top. “Yes, I do have root beer.” He joked.

Tom took a large gulp of the drink. “Sorry. I need the fizz. I’m starting to get tired.”

Jim turned and sat on the edge of the bed. “Well, maybe we can have drinks that are more fun than root beer.” He said with a smirk.

Tom shook her head and sat down on the edge of Leo’s bed. She bit her lip. “Maybe I should go. It’s getting kind of late.” She reached for her PADDs that were on Jim’s bed and her bag.

Jim grabbed her by her wrist to stop her. “Nah, you can’t go.”

Tom glanced up at him and then to his hand on her arm.

Jim quickly pulled it back. “I mean, you really just got here. We haven’t even gotten to the good part yet.”

Tom furrowed her brow, packing her stuff up. “Good part?”

“Well, yeah. Like always.” Jim said vaguely, not wanting to actually say what was on his mind.

Tom studied him for a moment before it hit. She scoffed and showed an amused smile. “Are you serious?” Tom threw her bag over her shoulder. “You know what, I’m gonna go. I need to go to bed.” She moved towards the door.

Jim laughed. “We can do that here.”

Tom shook her head. “You don’t get it, do you?” She stopped and turned to face him. “Jim, I’m kind of dating Grey. Like strictly Grey.”

“So?”

“So I can’t have sex with you while I’m dating him.”

Jim stood. “Why? Are you having sex with him?”

Tom hesitated, her mouth opening but words didn’t coming out. She shook her head. “That’s none of your business.” Tom pointed out.

Jim smiled. “So, you’re not.”

“Who cares if I am or not? It’s none of your business, that’s for sure.”

“It is my business if you’re my best friend.”

Tom groaned. “Just because you’re my best friend, doesn’t mean I have to tell you who I’m having sex with, whether I’m actually having sex with them or not.” Tom stressed. “It is literally none of your business unless I want it to be. And I don’t want it to be.”

“Yeah, but we’re - ”

“Whatever we were doing is done now. I’m just surprised you haven’t caught up on it yet.”

Maybe I have.” Jim told her. “And maybe that’s the problem. You might have this guy in your life now, but you've forgotten about everyone else in your life.”

“That is not true. For fuck’s sake, Jim, I’ve been staying away from you for a reason.”

“And what reason is that?” Jim asked.

“Because I know how I am around you! I know that I don’t have a care in the world whenever I’m with you. I also know that I do a lot of stupid shit with you and that’s been true since the day I met you at the bar.” Tom told him. “I’m avoiding something that I really don’t want to happen.”

“That’s what you’re calling it? You’re avoiding me?”

“Yes!” Tom shouted. “I’ve avoiding you to avoid fucking things up with Grey. Because a few drinks with you and I can kiss something real and good in my life goodbye. Not that you would care.” Tom marched to the door.

“You think I wouldn’t care?”

“I know you wouldn’t! I know that even in the most hypothetical situation you wouldn’t care. Even if I lost Grey for a reason that didn’t involve you, you’d be happy that you have your fuckbuddy back.” Tom slammed her hand onto the button to open the door and left Jim standing in his doorway.