I Want Crazy

YEAR 2

The thing about new years is that there are always new beginnings. New classes. New people to meet. New things to stress over. Only if this year was anything like the last one, Tom was nowhere near worried. She managed to end the year with a ‘B’ average. She had plenty of help from her friends and Jim, whatever he was. Jim was the one to help her the most. He was the one who would study with her all the time because he didn’t need to study. The two of them would do their studying after classes and spend the rest of the night in bed.

Neither really cared how many people called them crazy. Yasmin would wonder if Tom knew what she was getting into. Tom explained that she and Jim weren’t in any sort of emotionally attached relationship. Yasmin was worried about what would happen if she were to get a boyfriend, or meet someone who was worthy of having an actual relationship with her. Tom responded with a response typical to her.

“Why would anyone want to date me?”

“Tom, don’t say th - ”

“No, Yas, I’m serious. A girl could only be so confident about herself, but I’ve got to realize that me getting into a serious relationship with anyone won’t happen.”

Tom’s sister looked at her lost. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Tom was beautiful. Sure, she was a little unorthodox in how she went about her relationships with guys, but Yas still hoped her sister would eventually settle down. Being the only one of the four who had ended up with her father’s light toned looks, her babies were bound to carry that down. Her children would be the spitting image of her.

“Look, I’m fine.” Tom continued. “I just don’t think that settling down is for me. Can you imagine? Me tied down to one guy with a kid on each hip? I think I’d look absolutely ridiculous.”

“I’m sure that’s exactly what Dad said before he met mom. Seeing as you two are so alike.”

“I really don’t need to think about what kind of relationships Dad had. He doesn’t want to hear mine and the feeling is mutual.”

“Okay.” Yas checked her watch. “I’ve got to get to class. Could you do me a favor?”

“That depends. Will I want to do this favor?”

“Probably not. But I want you to really think about what you’re doing with Jim. I want you to think about what would happen if you were to meet a guy who you would consider dating exclusively.”

Tom groaned. “Do people even say that anymore?”

“I’m serious, Tom. Like that guy.” Yasmin said, pointing a few tables over.

Tom looked in his directions, but Yasmin stopped her, grabbing her face and making her face away.

“Don’t look!” Yasmin scolded.

“You want me to see if I want to consider settling down with this guy, the least you could do is let me look at him.”

Yasmin dropped her hand from her sister’s face. “Just don’t be so obvious about it.” she laughed.

Tom looked over at the guy. She had to admit that he was pretty attractive. He had his dark hair sticking up in different directions. He was one of the few people in the cafeteria who had ditched his cadet uniform for civilian attire. With the cold weather, he had on a long, black coat, opened to reveal a plain white t-shirt.

“See, he’s attractive. You could be the next Mrs. Random Attractive Man if you would just think about what you’re doing with that Kirk kid.”

Tom raised her eyebrows and looked back to her sister. “Guess we’ll just have to find out, huh?” Tom said, pushing away her bag from her lap. She stood up from the table, watching as a look of confusion on Yasmin’s face turned into a look of surprise.

“Tom, what are you doing?” she asked.

“Just going to talk to my future husband.” Tom joked, sarcastically. She walked away from her table and went and sat down across from the guy Yasmin pointed out to her.

The man looked up from the book that he was reading and gave her a strange look. “Hello.” he said, questioningly.

“Hi, Grey.”

“Do I know you?” he asked.

“Ouch.” Tom said, holding her hand to her chest to feign hurt. “I was in your group last semester for our engineering project.”

Grey’s eyes perked up. “Oh, right!” he said, with a smile. “You were the girl who kept to herself and surprised us all by saving the project.”

“Well, I don’t like to brag, but yeah. That was me. Tom Parker.”

“Grey Walkner.” he answered. “So, what did you just decide to tell me that my idea failed?” Grey joked.

Tom laughed. “No, my sister, over there at the table,” she said, pointing behind her, “thought you were attractive.”

“And what, she wants my number?”

Tom shook her head. “She’s trying to get me to stop being so wild. She said that you could be the person to calm me down.”

“I highly doubt that.” Grey chuckled. “But I’m flattered.”

“I also wanted to freak her out. She doesn’t know that I know you from class.”

Grey tilted his head and cocked a smirk in her direction. “You’re an evil genius. I didn’t picture you having such a scheming mind.”

“You’ve pictured me?” Tom flirted, leaning over the table.

“As the quiet girl from class. Brilliant and driven. Always running off to the library after class.”

“A girl’s gotta study. Especially when she doesn’t get into the Academy under normal circumstances.” Tom said. She glanced back at Yasmin, whose eyes widened as a signal for her to come back. “My sister’s freaking out. I should probably get back. Thanks for helping me out.” Tom started turning out of the chair to get up from the table.

“Hold on.” Grey stopped. He ripped a corner of paper from his book and pulled a pen out of his pocket. He scribbled something down on the scrap of paper and handed it to Tom. “If you ever want to study, or tell me what your abnormal acceptance circumstances were, give me a call.”

Tom looked down at the paper, noticing a set of number. A fire erupted in the pit of her stomach. She smiled and looked back up to Grey. “I will.”

!@#$#@!

“Do you really think that this thing between you and Jim is gonna last?” Leo had asked Tom, that night after studying. The two usually studied together on the same night every week and then ended out the night with a couple drinks to celebrate their hard work.

"Oh, hell, no.” Tom admitted, quickly taking a shot straight from the bottle. “But while I’ve got it, why should i waste it?”

Bones scoffed. “Please.”

“I’m serious, Leo. I’ve got someone who wants to have sex without an potential feelings being shared.” Tom laughed. “It’s every guy’s dream.”

“Yeah. Every guy’s dream. I’ve seen you naked, Tom. Trust me, you ain’t no guy.”

“Very funny, Leo. Use my drunkenness as your way to prove a point.” Tom sighed as Leo laughed to himself. “Look, we’ve set the no feelings rule. Jim’s let it slip once, but we’re good now.”

“You know how many old movies I’ve seen about that sorta stuff? Shit from back from nearly two hundred years ago had that ‘friends with benefits’ crap. Both parties ended up having feelings for the other.”

“That won’t happen with me and Jim. I can't see myself ending up with a guy like Jim. Hell, I don't see myself ending up with anyone. I'll be single for the rest of my life."

"And what happens when you're my age? Old and alone." Leo asked.

Tom laughed. "You're hardly old, Leo, never mind alone. Maybe, we should just live in loneliness together. You’ll be my last resort.” Tom winked to Leo.

“Thanks for thinkin’ of me, darlin’.”

“Anytime, handsome.” Tom took a drink.

“For the record, I think that it is insane.”

“You and I? I wouldn’t say insane. We’ve had sex before. And can I just say...damn.”

Leo rolled his eyes. “You and Jim. It’s possible you two could end up on the same ship.”

“Yeah, right.” Tom waved off. “Jim is a genius. I’ll probably end up on some third-, possibly fourth-rate ship. Jim, however, will probably be on some brand new ship, doing whatever it is that he does.” Tom thought for a moment, while taking a shot. “What is it that he does anyway?”

“To hell if I know.” Leo laughed. Tom passed him the bottle. He took a swig. “I just don’t wanna be there pickin’ up either one of y’all’s pieces.”

“We’ll be fine. We’re adults. Why are you worried so much?”

“Worried? Nah.” Leo scoffed. “I just don’t want ya to end up like me.”

“I’ve already got ya beat. I’m not married, I have no plans to, therefore there will be no kid or divorce. Not to say that your divorce was just some giant life disaster, but it won’t happen to me.”

“‘It wasn’t a disaster’? Darlin’ do you remember the day that you met me?” Leo asked.

“Of course. I saved your ass from being beaten by a girl.” Tom smirked, before stealing the bottle from Leo and taking a shot.

“When I joined the Fleet, I was still drinkin’ myself to sleep every night. The day you met me was an improvement from the days before. Jocelyn got everything. She left and took everything. I wasn’t even angry with her. I was angry with myself.” Leo paused. “Have you ever hated yourself so much that your only thought would be to sign up for something that you are absolutely terrified of doing? That doing that was just as easy as killing yourself?” Leo forcefully grabbed the bottle from Tom and took four mouthfuls.

Tom stared at her hands in her lap, unsure of what she was supposed to say or do. She sighed. “You got real deep on me, Leo, just like last year.”

“Only this time, we’re not sleeping together.” Leo assured. “It makes things too damn complicated.”

“I’m not complicated.” Tom defended.

“No, but your boyfriend is insanely territorial.”

“He’s not my boyfriend. We are just friends.”

“Relax. I’m only tryin’ to get a rise outta ya.” Leo joked.

Tom narrowed her eyes in Leo’s direction. “You’re a dick.”

Leo laughed.

“I think that you could be right, though. Jim feels like he’s got some sort of claim on me because I am only sleeping with him. Which is true, but there’s no claim.”

“So, go sleep with someone else. Go out this weekend. Get really drunk and have sex with some stranger. Then afterwards, rub it in Kirk’s face.”

“Maybe it doesn’t have to be a stranger.” Tom thought, reaching for her backpack and rifling through it in search for a tiny scrap of paper.

“What? You got a guy in there?”

“Not a guy.” Tom corrected. She found the piece of paper and held it up. “But a number.” Tom smiled.

“Where in hell did you get that from?” Leo asked, taking it from her hand.

Tom snatched it back. “Some guy who was in my group for my engineering project last year. I saw him today. I was playing a joke on my sister and apparently he found it attractive.”

“So call him. Get Jim off your back.” Leo encouraged. “You deserve it.”

Tom thought. “Maybe next week. I’ve got a huge test that Jim’s gonna help me study for this weekend.”

“With you two, it starts as studying and ends with sex.”

“So? With us, it starts as studying; ends with drinking. There’s really not much difference except our physical closeness isn’t as...close.”

Leo shook his head. “You are absolutely insane.”

“Why, thank you.”

!@#$#@!

After that weekend, Tom thought hard about whether or not to call Grey. If she called him, she could eventually find out that he wanted a relationship. She didn’t want a relationship. Tom only wanted what she’s always wanted from men: sex. She was afraid that maybe Grey would want something more, something that had more meaning, more feeling. She knew she couldn’t handle that. There would always be the ‘Where are you’ calls or the random corny messages. The thought alone made her cringe.

On the other hand, Tom could end up with another friend just like Jim was to her. Another guy who would help her study when she needed it and they would end the night in a bed, or in whatever was feasible. She wanted to know the outcome, but she couldn’t think hard about it.

That Monday had come too quickly and she was sitting in her Tactical Analysis class, waiting to take her test. Tom knew that she was prepared for it, but she worried that when she actually received the test, all the information would disappear from her thoughts. It hadn’t ever happened before, but just the thought that it could happen this time frightened Tom.

“Alright. You know the drill.” The instructor said from the front of the room. “No cheating. Get your test done. Read the next chapter.” The instructor began passing out the tests.

The door opened in the back of the class. Tom assumed it was a late straggler so she didn’t bother turning to see the newest addition to the room.

“Excuse me. Sorry for interrupting.” The voice said.

“Captain Pike.” The instructor named.

Tom furrowed her brow and turned to the back of the room, confirming that the captain had been the newcomer.

“What can I do for you?” the instructor asked.

“I was wondering if I could speak with Cadet Parker.” Pike said.

“I’m sorry. Who?”

“Me.” Tom said, standing from her seat at attention. On the inside, she was confused how her own teacher hadn’t known who she was.

“Yes, of course.”

“Respectfully, Captain Pike, sir, I’m about to take a test.” Tom told the captain.

Pike smiled. “I can assure you Cadet Parker, you will have a chance to take it at a later time.” He looked passed the girl down to the front of the class.

Tom followed his gaze, her eyes landing on the teacher.

“Yes, of course. See me later. We can set up a time.”

Tom nodded quickly and left her spot, walking to the back of the room, towards Pike. She followed him out of the room and closed the door after them.

Pike motioned for them to walk.

Tom clasped her hands behind her back as she walked side-by-side with Captain Pike. “Is there something you wanted to talk about, sir?” Tom asked, confused.

“How are your classes?” He asked.

“I - ” She started and then stopped. “You took me out of my test to talk about how my classes are going?”

Pike glanced at her sideways.

“...Sir?” Tom finished, feeling embarrassed about nearly interrogating a superior.

“I just wanted to check in.” He smiled.

“My classes are good. I’m taking more than necessary to catch up with everyone else, but you probably knew that.”

“I did know that. And somehow you’ve managed to nearly outperform those who have even the busiest of schedules.”

Tom sighed. “It’s been rough. But I’ve got a few friends who are willing to help me when I need it. Cadet Kirk and Doctor McCoy, as well as my roommate, Cadet Viola, have pretty been at my beck and call when I need help with something.”

“That’s very admirable of them.”

“It is. I very much appreciate it.”

Pike was silent for a moment. “That does mean that you and Cadet Kirk still communicate. Even after the situation back in Riverside.”

Tom breathed a laugh. “Closer than ever, sir. He’s my best friend.”

“Good. I’m glad. He seems to listen to you.”

“He does. For the most part. He respects me because I respect him back.”

“Maybe you could do something for me then.” Pike offered.

“What could I do for you, sir, that you couldn’t do yourself?”

Pike stopped in the middle of the hallway, turning to face Tom. “I’d like you to talk to Kirk about taking the Kobayashi Maru.”

Tom furrowed her brow. “That captain’s test?” She asked, getting a nod in response from Pike. “Isn’t that supposed to be unpassable?”

“It is. But I believe Jim could be a good candidate. He always does things he knows that he can’t beat.”

“That might be true, sir, but what makes you think I could get him to take it?” Tom asked.

“Just like you said yourself: He respects you. If you think he can do it, and tell him so, he would at least attempt. Once he tries, he won’t stop until he beats it.”

“And if I don’t think he can do it?” Tom questioned. “What then?”

“Then you might be terribly wrong.” Pike told her.

“Blunt, sir.”

“I find it is the easiest way to go about things like this.”

Tom sighed. “Okay, so what happens if I get Jim to take this test? Why do you want him to take the test?”

“It’s like I told him back at Riverside. Jim Kirk is going to do great things someday, but he has to be pushed and he has to try. For some reason, whether it be respect or admiration, he listens to you.”

“Jim and I aren’t in any kind of relationship. I can try, but I can’t guarantee you that I can get him to take this test.”

“Cadet Kirk is not exactly the kind of person who actually wants to go places on his own merit. He needs to have a good reason.”

“Jim has plenty of good reasons for all the good that he does.” Tom said, strongly. “Even you should know that. Sir, all due respect, you’re the one who told him he needed to come here.”

“I’m sure you helped.” Captain Pike countered. “I am certain that you are a big part of why he’s here right now. You can get him to take the test.”