What Am I Getting Myself Into?

Walking up to a quaint brick house that was tightly wedged between two other similar homes,Tommy had let his arm drop from around my shoulders as he opened the door,letting me go in before him. The lights were already on in the house but I figured he had a roommate or something and just glanced around the room. There were photos of Tommy and Brendan when they were younger. Some trophies scattered around and a picture or two of Tommy in his dress blues. 'Wow' I thought to myself,leaning closer to a photo on the mantle before I felt arms wrap around my waist. "Come on" He whispered near my ear,instantly causing goose bumps. I hadn't even realized how much I had really missed him until I had him this close to me again. I turned slowly in his arms so that I was facing him and he didn't move. I glanced up into his eyes and he was staring right back into mine before his gaze quickly went to my lips. Tommy tightened his grip around my waist,pulling me closer to him before leaning down the rest of the way to press his lips against mine. Thats all it took for me. My hands wound themselves around to the back of his neck and pulled him in even closer. He ran his tongue gently across my bottom lip before deepening the kiss and I let out a soft moan,grinding myself against his lower half and his hands moved from my waist down to my ass before giving a tight squeeze. Just as I felt Tommy start to lift me up there was a crash coming from another room close by and he backed away from me,letting out a frustrated groan. "Stay here!" He commanded before going to check out the noise. I did I was told and took a moment to calm myself down. I could hear yelling and more crashes from the other room and I was becoming increasingly alarmed as the volumes of both voices continued to rise. Suddenly Tommy was back in front of me,an angry look on his face but it softened when his eyes met mine. "Im going to take you home. Now isn't the time" he sighed and reached out to grab my hand,pulling me behind him and out the door. "Are you okay?" I asked once we had gotten back onto the sidewalk. "Peachy" He grumbled and seemed to suddenly notice he was still holding my hand and he dropped it. Feeling the loss of warmth from his larger hand I shoved my own back into my pocket.

The rest of the walk to my apartment was silent. I could feel something was really bugging Tommy but he apparently wasn't going to let me in on what it was. When we finally reached my door things suddenly felt awkward. As if this were the first time hed ever been here. Hell,even the first time that I brought him home wasn't this weird. We both opened our mouths and began to speak at the same time and then both instantly closed our mouths,staring at the other person before we both let out a laugh. "Im sorry about...back there" He finally said. I nodded. "What was that?" I asked,placing my hand on his arm. He only shook his head. Clearly he wasn't ready to open that book up to me just yet. I could be patient though. "Maybe you were right before....about this being casual,ya know?" He said. I felt my heart drop. Why would he say that? Had he stayed away from me all this time because there was another woman? I shuddered. I didn't,no. I couldn't think about Tommy with another woman. Touching her,kissing her. I bet she was prettier than me. I stopped myself at that thought and mentally slapped myself. 'Dont be stupid,Rhian!' I told myself. Tommy touched my shoulder,dragging me out of my own stupid head. "You okay?" He asked. "Honestly?" I shrugged. "Ill be fine" I wasn't sure if that was to convince myself more or Tommy. He stared very intently down at me for a moment before shaking his head. I wanted to know what was on his mind so badly at that moment. "Penny for your thoughts?" I asked, smiling up at him. He sighed and shook his head staring hard at the ground for a minute before looking back up at me with intense eyes. "Im so full of shit" he scoffed at himself. He reached down,placing a hand on the side of my face and sighed. "I cant even fucking pretend that im okay with any of that shit,Rhian. I still don't want those fuckers touching you. I don't wanna walk in the bar and see either one of them with you. Thats why I haven't been around. I cant deal with that shit. I cant sit back and watch some other guy make you happy. Thats my job! At least thats what I had originally thought. Either you're just mine or I cant do this. I don't want to make you choose but you're the only steady thing that I want. Everything else going on is shitty or pisses me off but not you,Rhi." I could tell that it was really hard for him to say all of that and I didn't even know how to answer him. Or what to say. I just stared at him,like an idiot until he let out a frustrated sigh and turned to walk back down my driveway. "HEY!" I snapped out of my trance and ran down after him. He stopped though when he heard me yelling for him. "I don't want those other guys. I was being stupid before. I didn't think I was ready for this,ya know?! But I cant get your stupid face out of my head. I was losing my mind over losing my mind because of you!" I threw my hands up in exasperation and let out a small laugh. "Tommy,I just want to be with you." I said and he pulled me up against himself in one swift motion and his lips were on mine. He had never kissed me with such intensity and feeling and THAT is saying something. After a few moments Tommy let me go and a wide smile spread across his face before he scooped me up bridal style and carried me back towards my apartment,me laughing all the way there. I still don't really know what im getting myself into,but for Tommy....I would take the risk.