Letting Go of Forever
There's A Lot I Could Say
There's a lot i could say right now, looking back on us.
I could talk about heartbreak, or nostalgia, or anger, or resentment, or love, or half-hatred. I could discuss the relationship between love and hate, i could talk about how much i want you back. I could discuss broken promises and sobbing through the phone and begging you to come home.
But no, i can't. Not really. Because looking back on us, I'm second guessing every word you ever gave me. And I'm questioning you. How you could give up on me. How you could walk away so easily. And why.
If you were any other boy, I'd say it was because i didn't put out. But that doesn't make sense. Sex wasn't generally on your mind, and when it was, you didn't bring it up. When we discussed sex, it wasn't urgent, because we figured we had forever to go that far. You never once pushed me farther than kissing on my couch or your father's car or on the dance floor.
I could talk about heartbreak, or nostalgia, or anger, or resentment, or love, or half-hatred. I could discuss the relationship between love and hate, i could talk about how much i want you back. I could discuss broken promises and sobbing through the phone and begging you to come home.
But no, i can't. Not really. Because looking back on us, I'm second guessing every word you ever gave me. And I'm questioning you. How you could give up on me. How you could walk away so easily. And why.
If you were any other boy, I'd say it was because i didn't put out. But that doesn't make sense. Sex wasn't generally on your mind, and when it was, you didn't bring it up. When we discussed sex, it wasn't urgent, because we figured we had forever to go that far. You never once pushed me farther than kissing on my couch or your father's car or on the dance floor.