Synthetic Love

I wrapped my arms around my legs and pushed myself against the wall as far as I could. I heard him screaming. I heard him cursing. He was looking for me and he would find me. He always did and there was no way that I could escape the house. Anyway, if I did that he would just finish what he started when I came back. I heard the heavy footfalls get closer to my location in the pantry. "Where are you? Come out, Bitch!" He yelled.

I cringed and put a hand over my mouth as his footsteps stopped outside of the door. The door began to open to reveal my father. He was wasted like all hell and he was barely standing straight. "Why must you hide from me, Clara?" He reached down and grabbed my arm, his huge hand engulfing it. He wrenched me from my sitting position on the floor and pushed my against the shelves filled with the few cans of food we had in the house. I screamed as the shelf made contact. "Stop screaming and answer my question!" He belted.

"Becau-ause you HURT ME!" I screamed. He in turn pushed my back against the shelves again, letting go this time, allowing me to fall to the ground.

"Yeah, I do.' He replied. "And you best not tell anyone about it or i'll do more than hurt you." He slammed the pantry door and this allowed me to cry.

It has always been like this. It will always be like this. I can't leave because I have no money. He let's me go to school, then come back home. He won't let me even get a job. So, that mean no college. He wants me here so he'll have someone to beat up and I know this and I've accepted it.

My mom used to always tell me that good things would come to those who wait. I have come to realize that, that saying in untrue. She waited here with her husband and daughter only to end up shooting herself in the head when I was seven. Well, maybe that was what she wanted. Maybe it was good... to her at least.

I refuse to go out like that. It would be considered giving up and I won't do that. I slowly pulled myself up and wiped my tears. I opened the door and peaked out, seeing that he was gone to the bar and I made my way up the stairs , to my room. I pulled my shirt off, looking at my back to see two large scratches going horizontally from one side of my back to the other right across my shoulder blades. They weren't bleeding - surprisingly - so, I just put my shirt back on.

I glanced at the clock by my bed and it was 7:30. Today was August the twentieth and today was the first day of my senior year. I wasn't really excited for school, except for the fact that I wouldn't have to be at home with my father and receive more abuse. He would also slow down with it so I wouldn't be covered in bruises and cuts for teachers at school to see.

I also could see my best friend, Vannah. She was the only one that knew about my dad's "habit" and the only time I could see her is during school. She was really the only one I talked to though. I never did anything extracurricular, I wore odd clothes, I listened to weird music and everyone basically tries to stay away from me.

I've accepted that too, though. I mean it's not like my dad would let my go on dates or hang out with friends anyway.

This year would be just the same as the last.

I grabbed my bag from underneath my bed and I grabbed my journal from underneath my pillow and I quickly made my out. I live near school so the walk to get there only took a few minutes to get there. I walked over to the Junior-Senior courtyard and sat down at my usual bench in the corner, by myself, to wait on Vannah.

Everytime the door opened, I would glance over in hopes that it would be her arriving. But every single time I looked over, all I saw was the same old annoying girls that hated me or the guys that would look past me like I was invisible.

I started flipping through my journal, scribbling down random thoughts or lyrics that would come to mind until the door opened again. I glanced over, expecting to see another person I didn't care about but what I saw this time was different.

There were five guys. They were all dressed in black. Tattoos littered some of their exposed arms and a I noticed some piercings. They seemed like the guys that would be in some of the bands I listened to, which meant they would outcasts just like me. Hell, they were already getting odd looks of rejection from the other kids.

I saw them walking to the corner opposite of mine I glanced back over and saw another guy that definitely was a part of their group. He was looking down at first but when he looked up, his eyes met mine. He had the most intriguing blue eyes I had ever seen. His hair was long and black. He had spider bites and he was wearing heavy eyeliner. He, like the others, got stares but this time, I felt the need to tell all those people obviously scrutinizing him to step off.

I had never actually wanted to do anything like that...

He went over to his friends in the corner. I stared the entire time he walked, so intrigued in this guy that I didn't even notice Vannah had sat down beside me.