Synthetic Love

Last night was just as I had expected. The great day I had and the fantastic mood I was in turned to despair when I walked though the front door. My father grabbing me by the nape of the neck, my hair inter tangling into his fist as he slammed me to the floor, cursing that I should have been home to make him dinner.

I couldn't feel my head. Literally. I'm pretty sure he ripped some hair out, I felt dried blood in the roots of my hair. I reached my hand back slowly to feel caked up grime on my neck and in the strands of my hair. I slowly got up, being sure not to move my head too much. I grabbed some underwear and clothes and went to the shower.

I stripped and got in, the warm water making my head feel cleaner but it burned my scalp. He definitely ripped something out. I slowly put shampoo in my hair, wincing as it touched my scalp, making it burn. I only conditioned the ends of my hair, afraid of it making my head burn worse. I got out, drying myself of slowly until I hit my side. A huge bruise covered my hip, the side that I hit the floor on.

I pulled my clothes on and went back into my room to see my father was sitting on my bed, holding my phone. "Who is this Ricky boy? I see you texted him yesterday and that's where you went. Maybe I should stop by and show him what I do to you. If you know what I mean?"

"Don't hurt him."

He raised a brow. "Why? You like this boy? If you do, you know that's not gonna be okay. Don't you?"

I chose not to answer.

"Well, we're not talking? Okay, you're not gonna tell me we're you're going or who this boy is then ill just have to find out myself and put an end to it. I do have his address." He threw my phone to the floor.

"Don't hurt him." I repeated. Pleading. "H-hurt me instead. He's done nothing. It's my fault. I told him to text me. I wanted to leave. Hurt me. Please."

He stood up, and walked toward me. Then, he picked me up by my neck, my feet not touching the floor. I couldn't breath, my vision already leaving me, and I felt a ringing in my ears. I did hear him though, when he spoke. "You don't want me to hurt him, aye? You're asking me to hurt you? Okay, I'll hurt you like you've never been hurt before." I felt my body slam against the wall, my head receiving the bulk of the impact. I blacked out, but not before seeing his fist come to my face.

0o0o0

I felt a gentle hand rub up and down my back, it felt soothing and I felt comfortable. It was a great feeling. It felt too real though. I quickly opened my eyes, looking around to see that I was in my room and it was night. I blacked out. He knocked me out.

I felt the soothing hand on my back again. I turned to see a figure sitting on my bed beside me. The person reached over and flicked my lamp on, the light revealing Ricky to be the one sitting by me. He wore a pained expression. "Hi."

I tried to sit up but my arms, abdomen, neck, head, and back began to protest so I let my body fall back. "It's night, Ricky. What are you doing here?"

He sighed. "I texted you, my mom invited you over again to eat with us. You never responded and then you called me, but all I heard was you're dad yelling at you and you pleading with him. I heard him tell you be was going to hurt you. I heard you scream and then I heard him... Beating.... You...and you never said anything else. You were very quiet. I finally hung up and I came over here as fast as i could and I hid until he left so I could sneak in and make sure he didn't-" he abruptly stopped speaking, but I'm pretty sure I knew what he was going to say. "Is this what was wrong?"

I sighed. "Yeah. He does this all the time. He threw my phone down and it must have hit call or something. He was already on our texts."

"Good thing."

"Yeah, how did you know where I lived?"

He looked down at his lap. "Well..."

"Ricky?"

"I followed you that day. The day you seemed off and...your face. I wanted to know where you lived just in case something happened. Like this. I didn't want to pry into your life. I just care and..."

"It's fine, Ricky. Thanks." I mumbled, grabbing his hand and squeezing it before letting it go.

"How long has he done this?"

I pushed myself up again and sat up, despite my protests of my body. Ricky gave me a wary glance, wanting to help but unsure how. I have him a reassuring smile and began to speak. "I was a mistake. My father used to beat my mother after she got pregnant with me. He was angry that she was going to ruin his freedom with a child. Well, that's what he told me on my tenth birthday when I asked why I couldn't have a party... After my mom died, I became his punching bag. Of course, I was the source of the beatings in the first place. I was what made him angry. So, he has always did this... As long as I can remember. He won't let me go places unless its school. He won't even let me get a job."

He nodded. "I know it's cliche but I'm sorry. I'm sorry that this happens to such a nice person like you. You don't deserve it and I highly doubt your mother did either." He put an arm around my shoulders and I leaned into him. "I'm always here to listen, if you want to talk about anything. I won't judge."

"Really?" I questioned.

He nodded. "Can I ask another question?"

I nodded.

"Vannah? Does she..?"

I nodded. "She has been by best friend and my only friend as long as I can remember. We both have always been outcasts and that's kind of what draws us together. She found out about my dad'd bad habit after I told her. I realized that I needed someone to vent to and someone to know about it. She was my best friend. Trustworthy and i felt like she wouldn't treat me differently so I told her. Not only so I'll have someone to talk to but also someone who can tell that cops what happened if he went to far one day."

He grimaced. "I understand about the outcast thing. I mean, look at me and my friends. Seriously, don't talk about death like that. You're not going anywhere. You have too much ahead of you."

"Thanks. I told Vannah this after she knew my secret and now I'll tell you the same thing. Please don't tell anyone. No police. If you tell anyone about this, they'll send me away to a foster family in another state. I don't want to leave Vannah and I don't want to leave my home. It was my mom's house to begin with and I couldn't feel right leaving it in the hands of my imbecile of a father. Please, keep my secret, Ricky? Please?"

He squeezed my shoulder. "Your secret is safe with me. I can't understand first hand. I haven't been though this but I understand how great it feels to have a friend that loves you no matter what. No matter how different you are and no matter what you go through. I hope that I have been added to that list. I'm here for you too and so are the guys. You know that."

I nodded. "You have no idea how much that means, Ricky. Thanks."

"You're welcome. I'll finish the project. I don't want you to get in anymore trouble."

"You don't have to."

"I do."

We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes. I looked at the clock to see it was three in the morning. "Ricky?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"Where does your mom think you are?"

"Chris' house. I told her I would be home late."

"Can you stay with me tonight? Please? I feel safer with you here."

"Of course. Mom wouldn't mind me 'spending the night with Chris.'" I could practically hear the smile in his voice.

I laid back down, he too shimmied down beside me to get more comfortable after flicking my lamp off. Knowing he was there gave me an overwhelming sense of security and I fell asleep quickly, resting better that night than I ever had before.