Show Me To The Door

Vic looked at his phone as he waited for his boyfriend to arrive at their apartment. Tonight was there three year anniversary but unfortunately because of work they had to spend it with Vic’s boss and coworkers. He had already waited ten minutes and just decided to text Kellin to meet him at the area where the party was being held. He hoped that his boyfriend was okay.

Every so often while driving Vic would check his phone only to find that there was no reply. Kellin may have been stubborn most days but he wouldn't deliberately not show up for something that was important to Vic.

The older boy decided to text his younger brother to see if he was with Kellin sensing that they liked to go out drinking together. Almost instantly he got a reply back saying that he wasn't, Vic was now partially scared. When he called Kellin there was no answer but it kept ringing so it wasn't dead, this only heightened his worry.

Once he arrived at the hotel where the dinner party was being held and saw all of his coworkers he immediately went to check his phone, no new messages.

“Vic, hey, you okay?” He knew that voice anywhere, it was his best girl friend Mariah. She was a petite girl, shorter than him by seven inches and had two tattoos, one on her ankle and the other on her wrist. Her faded red hair went well with her half Mexican complexion.

“I’m fine, it’s just that Kellin hasn’t been answering any of my calls or texts and I’m getting really worried. I even texted Mike to see if he was with him and all I want is for him to be with me. It’s our three year anniversary for crying out loud! Where is he?” Word vomit. Vic had a tendency when he was stressed out to just let everything off of his chest at once.

Mariah just grabbed her friend’s shoulders and told him to breathe out for a second. “I’m sure Kellin is okay and is just surprising you that he’s on his way. Everything will be okay.”

This seemed to only slightly ease the worry that was filling his head. Kellin was fine and he’s just running late and going to be here at any moment, at least that’s what Vic kept telling himself.

“Hey Vic, where’s Kellin? I was sure you’d be coming together.” Dillon, the fairly new assistant spoke as she looked up from her clipboard. Vic knew that she had a little crush on his boyfriend and found it a little cute but he knew nothing would happen.

“Oh he’s just running late but he’ll be here soon.” he explained to the nineteen year old in front of him. She nodded and left with a smile on her face.

Mariah just shook her head with a small smile on her face. She didn't want to tell her friend her real feelings about the couple but it was worth a shot. “Do you think that maybe Kellin is trying to make a statement? Maybe he’s telling you he needs some space to think, leave him alone for a little bit?”

“A statement? And what statement would that be? Couldn’t he have picked a better day to decided to not show up? Come on Riah, it’s our three year anniversary, I just.” the older boy couldn't even finish his sentence.

Vic couldn't stand being in the room anymore so decided to make his way to the door for some fresh air. On the way out five different people had also asked where Kellin was for the evening and the brown eyed boy just smiled and said that he’d be coming soon enough.

Soon enough turned into three hours. It was now nine in the evening and the boss was about to make his annual speech about the company and its progress. Vic wasn’t paying very close attention to his words, more worried on texting his boyfriend. “And I would like you all to congratulate your new vice president of this company, Victor Fuentes!”

The almost twenty eight year old’s eyes widened when he’d heard what his boss has told the room. Vic couldn't believe it. All eyes were on him as he stood up alone. He knew people were wondering why he’d been alone all night but they weren't verbally going to question it.

It took everything in his power not to burst into tears and run from the scene. He faked a smile though and walked up to his boss and shook his hand. “Thank you sir.”

More time had past and the more that passed the more Vic just became emotionally drained. He couldn't take anymore people asking where his boyfriend was so he just walked up to Mariah and told her he was leaving and left.

Once he got in his car with the doors shut and locked he finally unleashed all of his emotions. He was kicking, screaming and crying. From another perspective this seemed heartbreaking. The car shook from the tiny man’s actions. It wasn't until a good five minutes when he’d finally calmed down.

Driving wasn't easy for Vic at a time like this but he made it home in one piece only to find out that Kellin’s car still wasn't in the driveway. Almost instantly when he turned off the car there was a vibration coming from his pocket, a text message from the devil himself. “He’s busy”

There were now so many thoughts rushing through his head but the one that rang the loudest was the thought of his Kellin cheating on him. Vic immediately sprinted up the stairs into the apartment and went straight into the room they shared. Oh how it now felt colder. More tears fell from the boy’s face as he thought of his boyfriend and soon he began to fall asleep.

It had to have been a few hours when Vic had finally heard movement coming from beyond the bedroom door. Quietly the older boy opened the door and saw the culprit. His voice quietly lingered the open area as he spoke. It was meek and barely audible but loud enough. “Kellin?”

Kellin proceeded on to making his sandwich as his boyfriend stepped closer. “Kellin, I’m trying to talk to you and you’re not even listening to me.”

“I’m not cheating on you if that’s what you’re thinking.” the way he was so blunt and emotionless about the situation almost had Vic baffled.

“Well what am I supposed to think Kellin? It's two ten in the morning, you missed our three year anniversary and my work party, got a text message from you that wasn’t even from you and that’s not even the best part. You know what I think is the best part? I waited hours for you to show up you stood me up and embarrassed me in front of everyone. Do you know how many people I had to lie to and say that you were coming? Fifteen! Fifteen people asked me where you were and I bet you at the end of the night they felt sorry for me because the one person I love wasn’t there! Oh and by the way, I got a promotion, not that you give a shit!” By now Vic’s aggression was starting to show. It wouldn't take long for another breakdown.

The twenty four year old just listened as his boyfriend yelled at him. Of course he cared. He cared a lot but there was only so much he could take. “I do give a shit. I just needed some space, some me time.”

Vic sighed loudly while rubbing his temples. “You need some space? Kellin, it was our three year anniversary and you completely bailed out and didn’t even do something as simple as call me! Does that really scream ‘I give a shit about my boyfriend’ to you?”

“Okay, I’m so sorry Vic! I’m sorry that I can’t be the perfect boyfriend! I’m sorry that I’m an embarrassment to you! I’m sorry that I always seem to let you down! I’m sorry that I can’t keep a stable job while you just seem to be going up in the world! I can’t even support myself! I’m just a pathetic little boy that can’t do anything! Hell, I can’t even take care of myself let alone another human being!” Kellin, by the end of his rant, was almost in tears. The tears only seemed to come out when he was wasted.

And there it was, the root of the problem was dug out into the open for everyone to see. “That’s what this is about, me wanting to adopt?”

“I know that you want to adopt, but I’m just not ready that. I’m only twenty four. There are still things I want to do with my life. I understand that you’ve wanted a kid for a while but I can’t right now.” his ocean eyes were pleading that the conversation just end but Vic was going to milk it out for as long as possible.

“Do you want to explain to me why? I understand that you aren't ready but if there’s anything you want to do we can do it together. You don’t have to avoid me and make believe of your feelings, just talk to me.” By now Vic was holding onto Kellin’s face lightly stroking his cheeks with the pads of his fingers.

Kellin stood there and for a second just looking into the eyes of the man he loved. He grabbed one of his boyfriend’s hands and kissed it lightly. “Honestly, I don’t want to talk at all. I want to make it up to you in the best way I know how. After all, i did miss our anniversary and your big promotion Mr. vice president.”

And that was it, the argument was settled for the time being and the couple were finally at peace with one another. They were young and in love.

But that was weeks ago and now things were different.

There was no more warmth in the bed they shared together. There seemed to only be silence and emptiness. Happiness seemed to be a distant memory between the two as their bodies were pressed against one another, holding on to everything around them. The bed shook slightly as one of the boys let out a little whimper “Kellin, are you awake?”

Kellin was indeed awake. He’d been awake this whole time feeling the warmth of his long time boyfriend but not feeling any more whole. Tears began to fall from the younger boy’s ocean eyes. He was telling himself that everything was fine but it wasn't anymore. He couldn't lie to himself any longer. It was either now or never. He wasn’t going to be trapped.

Slowly the raven haired boy got up from his boyfriend’s arms, startling him. Vic didn't say anything as he saw Kellin grab his pants that were lazily thrown on the floor earlier and slid them on. It was honestly scaring the older boy as he saw what was in front of him, Kellin leaving. “Where are you going?”

It pained Kellin to hear the shake in Vic’s voice but he couldn’t stay with him, things had changed. The more articles of clothing the more it was hard for either of them to say anything. It wasn't until Kellin put on his leather jacket that was laying on the chair near the bed that it became serious. Vic grabbed Kellin’s wrist and pulled his body back to the bed looking into his slightly red eyes.

“What’s going on? Where are you going? Please talk to me!” Vic was holding on to Kellin’s face in his hands pleading to get him to look at him but it took some work. The look in his eyes showed something he hadn’t seen ever before, emptiness. That look alone almost stopped him but he wasn't letting go so easily.

The younger boy said nothing as he gazed into the eyes of the man he used to love. He couldn't fabricate a story anymore. There was just nothing left inside of him. It took everything in Vic to try to get the boy to talk to him but he was unresponsive. He was letting all of his emotions slip through the now breaking cracks. His voice shook as he spoke again. “Kellin, please, tell me what’s going on?”

“I don’t love you.” Those four words caused Vic’s hands to leave Kellin’s face and drop down to the bed sheets that they shared. There was nothing more to be said as the ocean eyed boy stood up and began to walk out the door leaving Vic alone with nothing but his tears.