Status: Slow 'n steady, guys.
This Reckless Dream
Two.
Lil wasn't entirely sure why she wanted this man so badly, but she figured it had something to do with the fact that she'd always been more interested in older men and strictly sexual encounters rather than relationships. Her therapist had spewed off something about seeking out a father figure to replace the abandonment she felt from her biological father, but she'd written that off as bullshit.
Lil didn't trust men and she swore she never would. When we she was younger, right about ten or eleven because all of the boys were out of the house for college, she'd been dropped off home from dance practice early and went looking for her father or mother to let them know she was back home. She'd seen her father fucking some woman whom she later discovered to be the secretary at his law firm. He'd never found out she knew and she had never forgiven him for betraying her mother like that. One day Lil managed the courage to admit to her mother what she'd seen and the woman hardly reacted at all. Lil did not see shock, disbelief, anger, sorrow, nor any other expected emotion to cross her mother's face.
Rather than let her daughter see the pain she was going through, Eleanor simply sighed, placed a hand on the young girl's shoulder and said, "Lillian, we must often times make great sacrifices to attain that which we desire most."
Eleanor had then shooed her only daughter out of her room, and unknowingly, out of her trust. Lil decided she'd be better off without learning anything further from either of her parents.
As if she could detect her daughter's nostalgia, Eleanor rapped sharply on Lil's door, opening it without waiting for a reply. "I've made breakfast. We'll all be eating it together as a family. Come downstairs now." Her words were cold and showed no more emotion than if she were talking to a stranger on the street rather than her own flesh and blood. Lil took the disdain personally while Eleanor only meant it in spite of her daughter's withdrawal.
The two had put themselves in a circle of upset feelings. The more Lil withdrew the colder Eleanor became, the colder Eleanor became the more Lil withdrew.
Lil scampered down the stairs and into the large connected kitchen and dining room, but rather than take a seat she grabbed a little box milk from the fridge and an orange off the counter before claiming she'd needed to leave to not be late for school. It was a lie to get out of spending time with her parents and while her mother would stand idly by and take it, her father would do no such thing.
Evan stood, beckoning his daughter toward him, his eyes narrowed into slits. "I don't think so, Lillian. You will eat breakfast with us as a family. I'm leaving for some business and I'll be in California for a week."
"Oh, business?" Lil snapped, anger and betrayal boiling her blood. "That's what you're calling it now? Well, I suppose it is business if the whore works for you!"
Evan's reaction was lightening fast. He'd traveled to her side and placed a harsh slap across her cheek before she could even regret her words. Lil was too enraged to speak so she took the low road, spitting on her father's face to express her scorn. Evan roared out a slew of profanities and grasped his child around her throat his hands squeezing until her airway was constricted.
"You filthy fucking slut. Don't you ever say such disgusting fucking things in front of me ever again."
Lil struggled to free from him, gasping and panting for air that she couldn't gain access to. Eleanor chose to ignore the situation entirely, favoring a sip of coffee and a bite of her omelet over acknowledging her husband and daughter's quarrel. Lil resented her even more as grey rims danced around the edges of her vision. She clawed at anything she could get her hands on and feverishly tried to pry her father's grip away.
Just as she could feel herself slipping to unconsciousness, his grip loosened and she fell to the floor, coughing and gasping in a heap of tears and strangled cries.
"If it wouldn't be more trouble than it's worth, I'd have killed you the second you told her you knew."
At her father's words Lil ran from the house, stopping only to collect her car keys. She practically threw herself into the drivers seat of her Kia Forte and sped the three blocks to Zack's house. Lil parked and hurried inside, apologizing as she made her way to Zack's room. His mother, Helen, wasn't surprised to see Lil this way. It was happening more and more often lately. If the Laroche's weren't so popular in the community, she would have reported what they were doing to Lillian ages ago.
Zack was just about to leave for school when Lil burst through his bedroom door, tears leaving a trail of mascara and eyeliner down her face. A swirl of emotions ran through him as he enveloped her in his strong arms. He was happy that she chose him to come to in her moments of weakness because he knew he could make her feel safe, he was devastated to see his closest friend in such a state, and he was outraged that Evan could do this to her and get away with it.
"It's alright. I'm here. You're safe now. He can't hurt you here," Zack whispered, trying to calm her as he wiped tears from her cheeks. She was confused and tired and her throat was burning from her father's actions and her hiccuping sobs. Zack led Lil to his bed and sat her down on it. "I'll be right back," He said quietly before exiting his room.
Lil wiped at her face, trying to force the tears to stop. She hated crying, she thought it to be a sign of weakness and she hated being weak. If she were strong she'd fight back against her parents. Lil wiggled out of the skinny jeans and low cut top she'd put on for school and went through Zack's closet until she found one of his Artist vs Poet band tees and slid it on. She was headed back towards his bed when Zack walked back in with a tray of breakfast food for her. His breath hitched in his throat at the sight of her long legs and he wished for a fleeting second that he could admit his feelings for her, but he shook those thoughts away. Now wasn't the time for that.
Zack set the tray onto his bedside table and propped up his pillows against the headboard so that Lil could lay against them. She sent him a weak smile and curled up under the blankets. He went to hand her the bowl of cereal off the tray but her hands were shaking so badly she nearly spilt milk all over herself. Her entire body shook as another sob wracked through her and Zack kept his grip on the bowl and wiped her eyes once more.
"You need to eat. I know you haven't been," Zack said quietly, though still maintaining a serious note to his voice. He hated seeing her do this to herself and she hated that he picked up on it. No, she hadn't been eating. She'd be practically starving herself these last few weeks before school started. Zack thought she was beginning to look like skin and bones and he was worried if she kept this up she'd end up dead. Whether from her destructive habits or from her father's beatings.
"Fine," Lil muttered, reaching out for the bowl of cereal, but Zack surprised her by lifting the spoon to her mouth. When her mouth slid open in shock he took the opportunity to pop the spoon into her mouth. Lil reached up and took the spoon from him, swallowing the bite of soggy Lucky Charms, which just so happened to be her favorite. She knew he'd done it on purpose. "Thank you," She whispered.
Lil leant in to give Zack a kiss on the cheek, but her turned his head at the last second and captured her lips in a kiss that he filled with all the longing he could muster. Lil fleetingly wished that her life had been completely different so that maybe she could have learned to love Zack, but that was left behind when she heard the cereal bowl being placed back on the tray and Zack hands rested on her shoulders, pushing her back against the pillows. His lips trailed across her cheeks, catching any tears that had strayed down her cheek, before he ghosted his lips over the bruises forming across her throat.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," He whispered over and over again, desperate to get her to understand without actually saying what he was thinking. And she did, she understood, but she would never admit it. She knew that she would break his heart if she ever told him that she didn't return his feelings and she couldn't stand herself if she ever did that.
Lil wrapped her arms around her savior and pulled herself flush against his chest. "Save me," She whispered, feeling sleep pulling at her senses. Sleep that she desperately needed, sleep that evaded her at home because of the never ending nightmares.
"Let me," Zack whispered back, letting himself get comfortable as she curled up against his chest and fell asleep.
Lil didn't trust men and she swore she never would. When we she was younger, right about ten or eleven because all of the boys were out of the house for college, she'd been dropped off home from dance practice early and went looking for her father or mother to let them know she was back home. She'd seen her father fucking some woman whom she later discovered to be the secretary at his law firm. He'd never found out she knew and she had never forgiven him for betraying her mother like that. One day Lil managed the courage to admit to her mother what she'd seen and the woman hardly reacted at all. Lil did not see shock, disbelief, anger, sorrow, nor any other expected emotion to cross her mother's face.
Rather than let her daughter see the pain she was going through, Eleanor simply sighed, placed a hand on the young girl's shoulder and said, "Lillian, we must often times make great sacrifices to attain that which we desire most."
Eleanor had then shooed her only daughter out of her room, and unknowingly, out of her trust. Lil decided she'd be better off without learning anything further from either of her parents.
As if she could detect her daughter's nostalgia, Eleanor rapped sharply on Lil's door, opening it without waiting for a reply. "I've made breakfast. We'll all be eating it together as a family. Come downstairs now." Her words were cold and showed no more emotion than if she were talking to a stranger on the street rather than her own flesh and blood. Lil took the disdain personally while Eleanor only meant it in spite of her daughter's withdrawal.
The two had put themselves in a circle of upset feelings. The more Lil withdrew the colder Eleanor became, the colder Eleanor became the more Lil withdrew.
Lil scampered down the stairs and into the large connected kitchen and dining room, but rather than take a seat she grabbed a little box milk from the fridge and an orange off the counter before claiming she'd needed to leave to not be late for school. It was a lie to get out of spending time with her parents and while her mother would stand idly by and take it, her father would do no such thing.
Evan stood, beckoning his daughter toward him, his eyes narrowed into slits. "I don't think so, Lillian. You will eat breakfast with us as a family. I'm leaving for some business and I'll be in California for a week."
"Oh, business?" Lil snapped, anger and betrayal boiling her blood. "That's what you're calling it now? Well, I suppose it is business if the whore works for you!"
Evan's reaction was lightening fast. He'd traveled to her side and placed a harsh slap across her cheek before she could even regret her words. Lil was too enraged to speak so she took the low road, spitting on her father's face to express her scorn. Evan roared out a slew of profanities and grasped his child around her throat his hands squeezing until her airway was constricted.
"You filthy fucking slut. Don't you ever say such disgusting fucking things in front of me ever again."
Lil struggled to free from him, gasping and panting for air that she couldn't gain access to. Eleanor chose to ignore the situation entirely, favoring a sip of coffee and a bite of her omelet over acknowledging her husband and daughter's quarrel. Lil resented her even more as grey rims danced around the edges of her vision. She clawed at anything she could get her hands on and feverishly tried to pry her father's grip away.
Just as she could feel herself slipping to unconsciousness, his grip loosened and she fell to the floor, coughing and gasping in a heap of tears and strangled cries.
"If it wouldn't be more trouble than it's worth, I'd have killed you the second you told her you knew."
At her father's words Lil ran from the house, stopping only to collect her car keys. She practically threw herself into the drivers seat of her Kia Forte and sped the three blocks to Zack's house. Lil parked and hurried inside, apologizing as she made her way to Zack's room. His mother, Helen, wasn't surprised to see Lil this way. It was happening more and more often lately. If the Laroche's weren't so popular in the community, she would have reported what they were doing to Lillian ages ago.
Zack was just about to leave for school when Lil burst through his bedroom door, tears leaving a trail of mascara and eyeliner down her face. A swirl of emotions ran through him as he enveloped her in his strong arms. He was happy that she chose him to come to in her moments of weakness because he knew he could make her feel safe, he was devastated to see his closest friend in such a state, and he was outraged that Evan could do this to her and get away with it.
"It's alright. I'm here. You're safe now. He can't hurt you here," Zack whispered, trying to calm her as he wiped tears from her cheeks. She was confused and tired and her throat was burning from her father's actions and her hiccuping sobs. Zack led Lil to his bed and sat her down on it. "I'll be right back," He said quietly before exiting his room.
Lil wiped at her face, trying to force the tears to stop. She hated crying, she thought it to be a sign of weakness and she hated being weak. If she were strong she'd fight back against her parents. Lil wiggled out of the skinny jeans and low cut top she'd put on for school and went through Zack's closet until she found one of his Artist vs Poet band tees and slid it on. She was headed back towards his bed when Zack walked back in with a tray of breakfast food for her. His breath hitched in his throat at the sight of her long legs and he wished for a fleeting second that he could admit his feelings for her, but he shook those thoughts away. Now wasn't the time for that.
Zack set the tray onto his bedside table and propped up his pillows against the headboard so that Lil could lay against them. She sent him a weak smile and curled up under the blankets. He went to hand her the bowl of cereal off the tray but her hands were shaking so badly she nearly spilt milk all over herself. Her entire body shook as another sob wracked through her and Zack kept his grip on the bowl and wiped her eyes once more.
"You need to eat. I know you haven't been," Zack said quietly, though still maintaining a serious note to his voice. He hated seeing her do this to herself and she hated that he picked up on it. No, she hadn't been eating. She'd be practically starving herself these last few weeks before school started. Zack thought she was beginning to look like skin and bones and he was worried if she kept this up she'd end up dead. Whether from her destructive habits or from her father's beatings.
"Fine," Lil muttered, reaching out for the bowl of cereal, but Zack surprised her by lifting the spoon to her mouth. When her mouth slid open in shock he took the opportunity to pop the spoon into her mouth. Lil reached up and took the spoon from him, swallowing the bite of soggy Lucky Charms, which just so happened to be her favorite. She knew he'd done it on purpose. "Thank you," She whispered.
Lil leant in to give Zack a kiss on the cheek, but her turned his head at the last second and captured her lips in a kiss that he filled with all the longing he could muster. Lil fleetingly wished that her life had been completely different so that maybe she could have learned to love Zack, but that was left behind when she heard the cereal bowl being placed back on the tray and Zack hands rested on her shoulders, pushing her back against the pillows. His lips trailed across her cheeks, catching any tears that had strayed down her cheek, before he ghosted his lips over the bruises forming across her throat.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," He whispered over and over again, desperate to get her to understand without actually saying what he was thinking. And she did, she understood, but she would never admit it. She knew that she would break his heart if she ever told him that she didn't return his feelings and she couldn't stand herself if she ever did that.
Lil wrapped her arms around her savior and pulled herself flush against his chest. "Save me," She whispered, feeling sleep pulling at her senses. Sleep that she desperately needed, sleep that evaded her at home because of the never ending nightmares.
"Let me," Zack whispered back, letting himself get comfortable as she curled up against his chest and fell asleep.