Born Too Late

As I laid on my freshly made bed, I watched the curtains move back and forth from the cold evening air. My parents were asleep hours ago as I tossed and turned. So many things ran through my mind. The next day I will be starting my first day of high school, in a new city, and country altogether. Instead of being excited to finally be a high school student, I was terribly nervous. I'm usually a shy person, who creates bad situations in my head a little more than the average person. What if this, or what if that happens, is the common daily thoughts. However, I hide those pounding scenarios quite well. As I played out my entire day and week and every possibility, I jolted awake. My alarm clock suddenly went off, and I caught my breath. It was 6:15 in the morning. “I don't even remember sleeping?” It was one of those mornings. I could feel it already. I rolled out of bed and watched the sun rise while getting dressed. I walked across the hall into the bathroom. I turned on the light on and washed my face. I realized I had big dark bags under my eyes; I tried to cover them up with makeup. This is not how I want to look for my first day of high school.

My name is Trisha, and I’m currently 14 years old. I’m a 90s baby and rely on music and art to keep me going in life. My favorite bands are Good Charlotte, Marilyn Manson and Papa Roach. I’d rather stay inside and draw or read a book than go outside and play sports. I’m 5 ft 5 and have really long hair. My natural hair color is light brown. But, at this very moment it is bleached blonde on top with a chunk of red underneath on the left side, along with black dye on the bottom half. My bangs have grown completely out, and my hair tends to split off to one side. I have a black hoop on the right side of my nose, and have my ears stretched to a zero gauge. I struggle everyday with anxiety; a mental illness not everybody can understand. Some days I’m fine, and some days I’m not. I write in my journal a lot. I’m a troubled teenager, whose reality is often blurred from books, movies, and old 240p band footage.

I was going to be experiencing my high school years in Waldorf, Maryland. I moved from Toronto, Canada to a small city named Waldorf in Maryland. My aunt and uncle had decided it would be a great idea and life changing experience to live with them for a few years. I got along with them really well so I had no problem living with them. I was all around comfortable being with them so I had no worries. The only worry I had was starting school, and meeting new people. My parents helped me pack up my things and drove me down there. I would come visit them every once in a while, and catch up with old friends. That was another worry; leaving my friends. But, I really wanted to live the life of an average teenage American in high school.

As I walked the halls of La Plata high school, I noticed a slight outfit difference than Canada. This isn’t the 90s? I thought to myself. But, it was completely new surroundings. I had no idea what to think of this, so I continued to walk around the school a few times and I ended up at the main cafeteria. It was 8 in the morning and I had 15 minutes to get to class. I waited in line, looked around, and smiled to a few people. I was trying to not look so awkward and shy. A guy who looked the same age as me turned around from the counter with a chocolate chip muffin. A Benji Madden look- alike? I must have been losing it. He had short dark brown hair, and worn out converse on. I forgot what he was wearing, as I just looked at his face in question. He walked away as my eyes followed him out of the cafeteria. I walked up to the counter and ordered chocolate milk. The cafeteria had school sports banners along the high walls. They were all dated. But the dates stopped at 1992. I didn't even notice that until much later. So far so good I thought.

Throughout the morning and into the afternoon, all I could think of is that Benji Madden look alike. I wanted to be friends with him, as lame as that had sounded. I was hoping to pass him in the halls again. In my classes I tried to make friends; my main question was asking if anybody liked Good Charlotte. Every person I had asked had never even heard of them. It was strange for me to hear that. Good Charlotte has sold over ten million albums, and it made me feel even more apart from the new people. But, not everyone has to listen to the same music as I do, and I was interested in knowing what other people were into.

The end of the school day came quicker than I thought it would. It was 1:15 and I walked into my fourth period English class. I found an empty desk at the back and sat down with my things. As I sat down, the Benji look-alike walked into the classroom. He looked around and noticed me. He proceeded to the back and sat down beside me.

“Hey.” Is all he said. “I saw you in the café today?” I stated nervously.

He waited a few seconds to speak. “Yeah, I thought I recognized you, that’s why I sat beside you. I haven’t really met anyone yet worth talking to again…” He thought about being made fun of before class by a tough guy from the football team.

“Benji, by the way.” I literally dropped everything. No fucking way.

“Trisha, I’m from Canada. It’s my first year here in Maryland.”

“Why are you living here now?” Benji asked.

“I’m living with my aunt and uncle right now.” I explained.

“That’s pretty cool then, have you made any friends yet?”

“I’ve met you so far.” My words started to jumble as I got flustered talking with, possibly, the real Benji Madden.

The class was handed a welcome letter to Miss Moore's English class. The page was filled with classroom rules and regulations. I skimmed through it, same crap every year. Treat everyone fairly, ask to use the washrooms, and no eating during class. But, something caught my eye and made me take a second look. “August 25th, 1993.” My mind raced. The year is definitely not 1993. I was born in 1993. How does this make any sense! I quickly looked over at Benji who was reading the page and I asked in confusion.

“1993!?.“ I’ll be right back.” I didn't bother asking to leave, but I ran out while the entire class watched me.

I walked briskly while looking around for the nearest washroom. I walked in and noticed it was empty. I looked at myself in the mirror and washed my hands with cold water.

“There is no way.” I said aloud to no one. I took a few deep breaths and walked out. I walked back into class and sat down quietly. I calmed myself down and looked over at Benji.

“Are you okay?” Benji asked.

“I’m fine.” I lied, I didn't want to scare away my new friend. So to speak. The class continued and the teacher talked most of the time. I just highlighted and circled important dates. Benji leaned back in his chair the entire time. He seemed very tired. I glanced over at Benji a few times during class and just smiled. As, the bell rang for the end of the day Benji continued sitting. As I got up from my chair I said to Benji that I'd see him tomorrow.

I took the typical yellow school bus home. I sat by myself and looked out the window. I would listen to what everyone around me was discussing; I tried to get in with the conversation sometimes. But, when I did talk I’d be interrupted and ignored. People are so rude lately, I thought to myself. I turned myself around from facing the aisle and continued looking out the window. Before the bus completely stopped I stood up and walked down the aisle and waited for the doors to open. I made my way home down the long street with many tall full trees. They were quite beautiful actually. I loved taking walks. Taking walks always cleared my mind from my thoughts and I always felt refreshed afterwards. As much as I hated taking the school bus, I loved the walk home. I noticed a stray cat and crouched down to pet it. It was a mix with brown and white paws.

“You’re gonna make my allergies come back.” I said with a smile while petting this furry cat.

I continued to walk the rest of the way home and up the driveway. The cat was still following me as I turned around and heard a meow.

“You can’t come in.” I said with guilt. “Sorry.” I was apologizing to the cat.

The furry friend continued to sit by the porch steps as I made my way inside the two story average brick house. I threw my black converse off my feet into the closet and noticed my uncle was setting up a new tv.

“Wasn't that grandmas tv?” I asked.

“She said she wouldn't watch much of it, so she gave it to us. It’s a pretty new tv too.” My uncle stated.

“A new tv.. “I muttered with sarcasm.

“From the early 90s.” I paused and looked up.

“Hey uncle Dave, when can we set up my cell phone?” That question flew right over his head, because he looked over and pointed to the phone attached to the wall.

“It’s been set up for a few days, where have you been?” He said sarcastically. I was beginning to think I was the odd one out in this family.

It was an early night for me. I instantly fell asleep around 10:00pm. I didn’t really remember any of dreams, except for one voice kept repeatedly yelling, “This is not your own reality!” It was like a nightmare that I couldn't remember, only the sound of the yelling.

I woke up with it running through my head and throughout the school morning. At school, I noticed Benji with a friend. As I approached a bit closer I noticed they looked identical.

“Hey!” I said with a friendly smile.” Benji looked over at his brother.

“This is Joel, my twin brother.”

Joel. I thought. Like Benji’s twin brother Joel. Like, Benji and Joel as twin brothers. I was flustered.

“I’ll see you in class Benj, nice to meet you Joel!” I said, as I quickly ran off with my crazy this-can’t-be-happening thought.

Okay, here’s the thing. I have somehow managed to get myself in a real situation this time.
1. Benji and Joel
2. No cell phones
3. La Plata High School Waldorf, MD

Is it just me? Is there a connection here? Am I stuck in the past? Not, that I’m complaining being friends with Benji Madden. But, you have to admit this is some crazy shit. This is my wild journey how I became best friends with the band Good Charlotte, and came to terms with my own demons at the same time.