Things Are Not As They Seem

“Many things are not as they seem: The worst things in life never are.”
― Jim Butcher, White Night

---

"Mike, get up already or we'll be late!!" I yelled up the stairs while I myself was getting my shoes on. It wasn't often that he was this late, it only happened when he stayed up all night.

I could see him jumping on one foot out of his room, while trying to put on a sock. It was an amusing, but at the same time worrying sight. What if he tripped and fell down the stairs?

We were out the door in no time. I refused him to waste any more time, and dragged him out by the hem of his shirt. He complained like a five year old child, but I didn't mind, it was who my brother was.

In school, I was greeted by those who knew me. All of their greetings were returned by one of my own, none of them were missed or ignored. It happened every day, almost like a video tape replaying itself every morning. Somehow I never grew tired of it.

I could feel the steady beat of my heart increase, start pounding against my ribcage harshly, as the one who I admire spared a glance my way, a smile adorning his features. My mind almost started to shut down while eye contact was being held.

I was beginning to feel light headed, my surroundings were lightly starting to spin at the corners of my eyes. I felt like I was going to pass out, but I had been pulled out of my state by my brother, who had pulled me by my locker.

"Now look who's wasting time. I don't even need to do this you know, but since we're in the same class, I know you will be moaning at me later that 'I didn't save you'"

I was grateful to him. I knew it would be next to impossible for me to break the eye contact on my own. His eyes were far too intense, too strong to look away from.

This wasn't the first time, and certainly not the last.

When I looked back his way I could see his back slowly disappearing into the crowd, becoming another nameless face. I will see him again, I know I will. I always do, whether I like it or not.

---

First time I held a conversation with him;

I left my class in hurry. I don't know why, but I just felt that I had to leave that class as quickly as I could. I was suffocating in there, the air was heavy, pressing on my lungs.

"Hey, wait, you forgot this!"

I heard a shout behind me, quick footsteps growing louder as they neared me. I turned around hesitantly, to be met with those same intense eyes. Though, this time my eyes were distracted by the notebook he was waving in front of my face.

"Thanks" I said, reaching for it, but he pulled it back towards his body. I was confused, and more than anything I wanted to get away. The uncomfortable feeling of my heart wanting to rip out of my chest had returned, and I could feel myself start to become increasingly warmer.

"First, could you tell me why you were almost running away? Its not like your late to class or anything"

I shrugged at his question. I couldn't give him an answer while I myself didn't have it.

"Second, I feel like you're avoiding me. I know that we don't even know each other, but I'd like to, and every time I try to talk to you, its like you suddenly vanish"

I smiled faintly. I didn't know how to respond: 'Oh, I was just too scared, don't worry, I really like you' or 'Sorry, I've just been stalking you for the last year and thought you didn't like me'. Neither of those sounded good, so I stuck with the smile.

"So how about it? Can we be friends?"

I nodded, finally retrieving my notebook.

"Lets exchange numbers"

I took out my phone; we both exchanged our numbers, and he promised me he would text me later that day.

-

That promise was fulfilled when he texted me when I was bored out of my mind. If you could die from boredom, I'm sure I would have died a couple of years ago, or certainly now.

He made me smile while complaining about his own teacher, emphasizing on the terrible way he teaches his lessons. He brightened the rest of my day, leaving me glowing.

My friends had noticed and asked questions. I was glad to answer them, and they were glad to listen.

-

We became close friends, almost like brothers. Almost. My feelings for him were still there, stronger than before. It was almost painful being around him, because I was unable to express what I truly felt.

My friends told me that he too, looked like he felt something more than just friendship towards me. They told me I was too blind to see the way he looked at me, the way he talked to me, or how fond he was of me. They were right. I didn't see those things.

What had moved things forward was when someone shouted ''Kiss already'' in the corridor while we were still by our lockers. I laughed it off, but not Kellin. He had done exactly that, he leaned in and kissed me while I was off guard.

It had been my first kiss, and I was delighted that it was him who I was able to share it with. It was short and sweet, but it was the most magical thing I had ever experienced. My heartbeat was going through the roof, and I could feel myself going weak in every limb of my body.

Many more kisses were shared like that. Many more sweet words and gestures were exchanged. I felt content.

-

My life was slowly flashing before my eyes; it was going quickly, but at the same time it was going slow enough for me to live it. Weeks, months and even years could go by unnoticed. Sometimes when I would try to think back to what I did, all I would imagine is darkness. There was nothing, absolutely nothing, but at the same time I knew exactly what I did.

Occasionally when I laid in bed at night, next to Kellin, I would hear voices. Not those nasty kinds of voices that pointed out my every flaw, or not my own thoughts trying to speak to me. No, it was something completely different.
It was faint, unclear, but it was there. It sounded strangely familiar and comforting. It sounded full of sorrow and hope.
I listened to the silent murmurs each night, wondering exactly what they were saying.

-

Years had gone by, I had gotten a job, and married Kellin.

He proposed to me under a starry night while we were sitting atop his car. It was cheesy, but it was him.

He made me happy, and I hoped that I did the same for him. I don't know if I would be able to live without him. He was my life support. Without him I would be unable to breathe.

-

We grew old together, always happy while in each other's presence. We had managed our whole life without an argument. Sure, there were small quarrels, but it never got to the point where we would raise our voices towards each other.

I believed that I would be happy till the day that I die.

I didn't seem to be far from it, because before I could die of old age I had a heart attach.

I struggled for air, as my heart twisted and tried to tear itself apart. I could feel it trying to burst, like a time bomb set from the day I was born.

I don't mind dying now, I just wished I had a few more seconds with him.

As I felt the pain in my chest start to disappear, myself slipping in to the darkness, I felt new pain appearing.

Some of my limbs were hurting, and my chest felt like it had a dagger piercing through it. I could see a light. Is this it? But why am I still in pain?

As the light engulfed me, I could start to see outlines of people. Everything was beginning to come back to me. I began to remember exactly what was going on, and it devastated me.