Don't Leave Me

“Frank, why did you do it?” Gerard asks as he holds Frank’s wrist.

Frank bites his lip and looks up at Gerard’s face. Frank could feel tears already falling down his cheeks and some getting into his mouth. “I don’t know, Gee,” Frank says weakly. “I was in pain.”

“Sh.” Gerard pulled Frank close and pulled the rest of his shirt sleeve up until it stopped at the crook of Frank’s elbow. There were about twelve scars, new and old, that were lined up and down, crisscross. “Why didn’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

“I was scared.”

“Why were you scared?”

“I thought that if I-I told you then...you-you wouldn’t listen. No one listens to me.” Frank’s tears were falling faster, his lip was quivering and his eyes were already bloodshot.

“I’ll always listen to you, Frankie,” Gerard said. “It doesn’t matter what the problem is, I’m always here, alright?” Frank nodded. “I love you, and I don’t like seeing you hurt yourself. These scars don’t deserve to be on your wrist.”

“You mean that?”

Gerard nodded. “Of course I do.” Frank closed his eyes. His eyes flew open when he felt Gerard’s lips on his wrist. His lips were kissing the scars all over his arm and they stopped at his elbow. He picked up Frank’s other arm and kissed every scar just like he did on the other arm. “Is there more anywhere else?” Gerard asked after he was done.

Frank took a shaky breath. “Yeah, but…they-they…they’re on my thighs.” Gerard scowled. “I doubt you want to see my fat thighs.”

“You’re not fat, Frankie.” Gerard caressed Frank’s cheek. He brought Frank closer until his lips touched Franks. The kiss was gentle and nowhere near intimate or passionate; it was just a gentle kiss that meant that everything will be okay. “Please come to me next time you feel the need to harm yourself? Please?” Gerard was begging now, he hated seeing Frank like this. He remembers the first time he saved him from suicide. It almost broke him into tears….

Frank nodded. “I’ll try.”

“Thank you.”

Frank’s tears were falling freely now, and Gerard could feel his own heart breaking into two and slicing his insides at how broken Frank was. It seemed like Frank was desperate for release of pain but Gerard doubted that would help. He wouldn’t really know because he’s never self-harmed.

Frank hugged Gerard really tight. He didn’t want to let go, and he thought that maybe he shouldn’t. But then again, who would stay with someone like him? Someone who wanted to kill himself and cut them until they almost bled to death?

“Why do you like me, Gee?” Frank said, breaking the silence.

“I like you because you’re perfect—even with the scars. I just…I love you, okay? I really do and I’ve loved you forever,” Gerard croaked. “I remember when I saw you were about to kill yourself. It broke me.” Frank sniffled and his tears were getting Gerard’s wet, but Gerard didn’t seem to care. “I don’t want to let you go. I don’t want to see you die or be dead. I wouldn’t want that, alright? So, please don’t leave me.”

“I love you,” Frank said, his voice hoarse from crying and muffled.

“I love you, too, Frankie.”