Without Warning

John didn't handle emotion well.

He knew that. The band knew that. Everyone close to him knew that.

He tended to just shut down. Pretend like nothing happened. Now, that was something he was use to doing and that's exactly what he planned to do with this whole Everly situation.

He slid the empty glass further onto the bar as he ordered another drink. He just wanted the ache in his chest to go away. He would do whatever he could to ensure that happening.

The show had went ok in his opinion. He had several drinks throughout it and he didn't hesitate on continuing as the group decided to go to a bar next door to the venue. Alcohol seemed to be the only way to feel slightly normal. The only way he could feel nothing. Which ever it was, he appreciated the numbing sensation that lasted at least a few hours.

"John..." Pat spoke softly as he slipped into the seat beside him.

"Please don't Pat." He mumbled, unable to be mean to the kid. Pat really was the only one he was ok with being around at the moment.

"I'm not, I just, I wanna make sure you're ok."

"Why? I don't deserve it." He grumbled as he finished off the whiskey in his glass.

Pat didn't respond and John continued, "You know, you truthfully are the only decent person I know. I've never met someone as good-hearted as you and I am so sorry for what I did. I truly would never intentionally hurt you, you know that right? I was overly intoxicated and she threw herself at me and that isn't an excuse, but I hope you know, I am really sorry and I've regretted it every day since it happened."

"I believe you. You could have told me that weeks ago, you know?"

"I know, but you know me..." He grumbled before thanking the bartender for the new drink.

Pat patted John's shoulder and John's eyes finally met his.

"Yeah, I do know you, John. I know this is you beating yourself up. This is you trying to hide everything you're feeling. You've got to stop doing that, man. It just makes things that much harder for you."

John shook his head, "I just, I can't. I just...I don't have it in me."

"Yes you do. I know you do."

"You have too much faith."

"And you don't have enough and maybe you should have a little more in Everly."

"What? N-no. She..."

"Yeah, she did something bad, but she realized it and ended it because of you. Shouldn't that mean something? I mean, hell her brother and her are basically at war with each other over it."

"She still..."

"She still what? Hurt you? You hurt me and yet here I am forgiving you." Pat stated, cutting the boy off.

"It's not the same..."

"Really?" He asked with a raised eyebrow and John sighed.

"Just, give her a chance, John. I just feel like if you don't you'll be missing out on something that could change your life."

Pat gave him a grin before patting his shoulder once more and heading back to the table where the guys sat.

John finished off his drink before letting out a sigh. The alcohol was now making it harder to think straight and he really didn't know whether he should try or not. He would have to think about it tomorrow when he was more level-headed.

"Hard day?" He heard and glanced over to the seat beside him to see a blonde he hadn't noticed before.

"Something like that." He mumbled, glancing back at the empty glasses before him.

The blonde laughed, "I'm Kathryn."

"John."

She nodded as she thanked the bartender for her drink. John studied her from his seat. Sure, she was attractive, but no one could seem to grab his attention like Everly could. He knew for a fact that if she walked in right now his heart would feel as if it would burst from his chest.

Damn her.

He hated how she made him feel when he wanted so badly to feel nothing for her, to treat her like he use to treat every other girl. She was exactly the reason he never fell in love.

"So, why are you really talking to me, Kathryn?" He asked, his crooked grin hitting his lips once he finished off his fourth drink.

The girl giggled as she brushed back her hair, "I have to have a motive?"

"Just wondering why an attractive girl like you is trying to speak to me. Is it because I'm in a band?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You're in a band?"

He nodded, "Yeah, just played next door."

"Oh really?"

"Yep." He spoke with a smile knowing very well that officially reeled her in. He had done this so many times, it now just flowed from his mouth without much thought.

"That's cool! What do you do?"

"I sing."

"Oh? Can I hear?"

He laughed, "Here? I don't think so."

A pout hit her overly red lips, "Well, what about outside?"

He smirked knowing very well he had won. He hated how easy some girls were. It really gave him no hope. Maybe Everly was the only one left...

John tried to push her from his head as he grabbed the girl's hand, and leading her outside into the quiet, night air.

"And what do you want to hear?" He whispered as she leaned against the wall and he stepped closer to her. His fingers now playing with her hair.

"You tell me." She replied and he chuckled, placing his free hand on her waist before inching closer.

"I can think of other things to do..." He breathed, licking his lips before they crashed onto hers.

He hated how even though drunk, he had a hard time enjoying it. He use to not care. He use to just want a girl. Any girl. Now all he wanted was Everly. He wanted to be kissing her lips, feeling her body. Not some strangers.

He pulled away instantly, the girl fluttering open her eyes and he felt slightly bad for leading her on.

"I'm sorry. It's really late. We have to leave soon. I need to go." He stated as sympathetically as he could. He just wanted away from her.

The girl said she understood, wrote her number on his hand and walked back inside. He breathed in, wiping his lips onto the back of his hand knowing very well they were tinted red. He breathed in, shutting his eyes as he leaned against the wall.

He was never going to be the same and it made him hate Everly even more.

"Feel better?" He heard and he lit the cigarette that now hung between his lips. He glanced over to see Pat leaning beside him and John didn't bother to speak.

"No, huh?" Pat continued and John shook his head no.

"Because you love her."

"I wish people would stop saying that."

"But you do. What's so wrong with that?"

"Oh I don't know, probably the fact that I was made a fool." He grumbled and Pat sighed, "She's upset too you know?"

"As she should be."

"I think um, I think she's leaving."

John froze, the cigarette danging between his fingers. He stared out into the busy street, not bothering to speak. He really didn't know what to say.

He blew the smoke from his mouth before clearing his throat.

"When?" He finally asked.

"I don't know, probably when we arrive in Tennessee."

John nodded and Pat groaned, "Come on man, I know you don't want that."

"But I do."

"Do you think her leaving will make it easier to forget it?"

John didn't speak knowing he was in fact right.

"John, I can't tell you what to do or how to handle what you feel, but like I said earlier, don't throw it away. Everly is a good person. You know that. Who she was with you wasn't a lie. She was just, Everly and you happened to fall in love with her this time, but she's always been the same girl. Outspoken, funny, sarcastic and yet sweet and caring and you know that. She's like you in a lot of ways..."

John looked over at Pat and he grinned, "She would never intentionally hurt someone. Especially someone she cares about."

John sighed, allowing his head to hit the brick wall.

"Just talk to her, ok? A real conversation. Can you do that for me?"

"Yeah...ok." He mumbled out. If there was anyone he would listen to it would be Pat and he was certain he at least owed him this.

"Great. Now go to the bus. You don't want to be here anymore."

"You have me all figured out, huh?" John joked and Pat laughed, "Sometimes, yeah."

John chuckled throwing out his cigarette.

"Ok, I'm gone."

Pat nodded and John shoved his hands in his jacket as he began to walk.

"Hey, Pat..." He finally said spinning around hoping that he hadn't left yet.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. I mean it."

Pat nodded with a grin, "No problem."

John walked back to the bus. His thoughts slightly more clear than before and all of Pat's words were now repeating in his head. He would just do what Pat said. He would talk to Everly. Maybe listening to the boy for once would save him from making so many mistakes. He could at least try. At this point he had nothing else to lose.