Without Warning

"I think I can handle it from here." Everly spoke to Kennedy not bothering to even look at him. She was still so angry with him. Never had she had so much hatred for him as she did at the moment and she truly did hate it.

"You sure you wanna leave?" He asked and with that her eyes met his, "I now have no choice thanks to you."

Kennedy rolled his eyes, "I'm not going to apologize you know? If anything I'm just protecting you. You don't need someone like John. He isn't good enough for you."

"Yeah Kennedy, well who the hell is?!" She asked throwing up her hands and he frowned, "No one that's in a fucking band that's for sure."

"Well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black!"

"No, it's not. Because I know very well that a girl like you would never even look my way and I'm ok with that because I don't think I could live up to those expectations."

"Oh so now I'm some stuck up girl?"

Kennedy rolled his eyes, "Did I say that? No. I'm saying you shouldn't degrade yourself by dating the idiots you do. They'll never be who you want them to be and you'll continue to be let down. Everly, I just want you to find the right guy."

"You mean the right guy that you think is suitable?"

"No, I want you to find the right guy for you. Whomever that is. I just feel like you think you can only get people like Joel and John and that is far from the truth. I hate seeing you date loser after loser because you are so much better than that. I wish you'd see that. That's what pisses me off. You could find an amazing guy if you'd just give someone a real chance and stop thinking so little of yourself."

Everly crossed her arms uncomfortably from Kennedy's words and the boy sighed running his hand down his face.

"I am sorry for how I handled it, Everly. I just, I love you and I know we aren't even blood related, but you are my sister. I would gladly take a bullet for you and I can't help that I want to protect you all the time. I just, I wanna protect you because I remember how you were through that whole Joel situation and I never want you to experience that again."

Everly couldn't help but feel the anger washing away. She should have expected that to happen. It always did with Kennedy.

"Kennedy, I get that and more than anything you have no idea how much that means to me and I hope you know I feel the same way towards you, but Ken, you have to let me figure things out for myself. I promise I'm smarter now. You need to have a little faith in me." She whispered, a weak grin hitting her lips.

"I always believe in you, Ev. I just don't want you getting hurt to be something I could have prevented and him being in my band makes me feel that way."

"Yeah, I get that, but Kennedy, as much as you don't want to believe this, John really does care about me."

"Then why are you leaving?" He questioned and Everly shrugged with a grin.

"Is this a test?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Told you I wasn't stupid."

"Shouldn't you at least talk to him then?"

"I left him a note."

"He's going to be mad."

She shrugged right as her flight was being called.

"Just please call me when you get home."

"I will." She whispered, hugging Kennedy quickly.

"Love you. Be careful." He mumbled, kissing her head before releasing her.

"Love you. Bye."

Everly grabbed up her bag and glanced at the boy once more before heading to board the plane. She honestly was glad Kennedy and her had made up. She felt better about the whole situation now. She hated fighting with him. Hopefully once she was at home, things would make more sense and she could figure out this whole John situation once and for all.

~~~~~

John kept glancing at his phone, hoping for some sort of message from Everly, but that was only wishful thinking. He looked at the table in front of him, the note seeming to only be more visible the more he wished it away.

He refused to read it. He refused to feel even worse. He only imagined what it could contain and none of his thoughts were that great so avoiding it seemed to make more sense.

"You're such a pansy." Garrett spoke, grabbing up the note and John reached out for it although it was too late.

"Dear John..." he began only to cut himself off, "Hey isn't that a Taylor Swift song?" Garrett asked causing himself to chuckle and John to roll his eyes.

Garrett continued to read it to himself and John just stared at him in frustration. A part of him wanting to know what it said word for word and the other part hoping Garrett decided to tell him nothing.

"Dude, all she is basically saying is that she's leaving because of all the drama but that..."

"But that what?"

"That she um, she loves you."

"What?" John mumbled before grabbing at the sheet. His eyes immediately scanned the letters, stopping as he found the words that caused his heart to stop.

'P.S. I love you too.'

John breathed in, setting down the piece of paper all the while his heart continued to beat rapidly.

"John..."

John shook his head before pushing up from the table. He didn't need this. He never wanted to feel this way. He never wanted a girl to have so much power over him, but here he was acting like a baby. Letting everything she did or said get to him.

"I don't care."

"Yes you do."

"No. If she loved me, she would have stayed." He grumbled heading back to his bunk to change. He just needed to push past this. To forget she ever existed. Surely he could do that.

~~~~~

Once back at home Everly felt even more displaced. Without Kennedy and his loud friends in the house the silence was worse than she imagined. Then again, that could have been because she hadn't seen or heard from John in two weeks and the fact that it could really be over was starting to really settle in.

Two weeks and nothing.

A part of her expected that from him. He was clearly hurt and he dealt with pain the same way he always did; by forgetting, pretending nothing happened. Like his life could just pick back up where it was before the pain.

And yet another part of her hoped that the part of him that she fell for was more powerful than he led on. Clearly, she was wrong.

Everly ran to her ringing cell phone and immediately answered it although a bit out of breath.

"Hey you. What's up?"

Garrett's familiar voice filled her ears and a smile hit her lips.

"Hey, not much, painting. You?"

"Not painting?"

She giggled as she fell on the bed, "You don't say."

Garrett chuckled and she sighed, shutting her eyes tightly. So many times she wanted to ask about John only to hold back. She didn't want to seem desperate. She didn't want him to know it bothered her or that she cared.

"How's the guys?"

"Oh same oh same oh..."

"Mhm."

The line went silent before a sigh left Garrett's side of the phone.

"He's not good, Ev. I don't want to lie to you, ok? He's just, he's a mess."

Everly bit her bottom lip, the ache in her chest now a bit rougher.

"I tried to text him." She finally whispered and Garrett chimed in, "I know, which is why his iphone now has a cracked screen."

"I just don't get it!"

"Everly, he loves you. John just doesn't go around loving tons of girls if you haven't noticed. You left him when he was vulnerable and he now feels the need to defend himself, prove he isn't weak, prove he's not some emotional guy you manage to bring out of him."

"Then why won't he just talk to me?"

"If he does, all this work to pull himself back together would have been for nothing and he knows that."

"So what should I do?" She whispered, not sure if this numbing feeling she had would ever go away.

"Nothing, Ev. We will be home in a few days anyways."

She nodded although he couldn't see, "Ok..."

"Everly?"

"Mhm?"

"He hasn't looked or touched another girl if that's what you're worried about."

"That does make me feel a little better."

"He maybe trying to act tough, but he cares about you. Too much in his mind. When we get home, just try and talk to him. If he's truly what you want, you have to."

"I will."

"Good, look, I was just calling to check in. Are you picking us up from the airport Friday?"

"Of course. I can't wait. I've missed you guys."

"And to think of all the bitching you do when we are there and all loud and shit..."

"I take it all back."

Garrett laughed, "Later, Ev. Love you."

"Love you, bye."

Everly hung up the phone, letting it drop on the bed as she brought her hands to her face. She really did in fact miss them. Especially John. She ached for him, to be in his presence, to see that crooked smile of his that made her heart skip beats. She missed things about him she wasn't sure one could miss, like the smell of his cigarettes and the way he held her hand.

Everly breathed in trying to calm her emotions. She just wanted him here. She wanted him to forgive her, to stop acting this way. Why was it so hard to do? She had waited a few days after she got home to text him. A simple text really. A simple, 'thinking of you' text you could say. Clearly her leaving made him angry, but she still thought he would respond and once he didn't it made her regret it all over again. Of course, against her better judgment, she decided to text him again, knowing very well she just may not get a response, but knowing she had to at least try.

'I miss you.'

Simple and yet meaningful.

She groaned, forcing herself from the bed where she decided to leave her phone. As she stretched, deciding to go back and paint, her phone beeped and she froze where she stood. It was times like these that she wished she had turned her phone on silent.

She slowly picked it up, her heart stopping as John's name flashed on her screen.

'Damn it Everly, I miss you too.'

Simple and yet effective.

She stared at the screen unsure what to do or say at this point. Did she try and keep the conversation alive? She desperately wanted to simply because this was the first communication in weeks and she craved more, but she wasn't sure if it was wise.

Before she could respond her phone started to ring causing her to jump and her head to spin as John's name appeared once more.

"Hello?" She managed to say and once his voice hit her ears she almost cried.

"Evie. Hi." He spoke in his soft, raspy voice and she bit her bottom lip.

"I need to see you. I need to hear your voice. I need to touch you. Everly, please come see me."

Her happiness quickly disappeared from his words. His voice and honesty showing off that he clearly was intoxicated. There was no other explanation.

"You don't mean that."

"I do so. I'm miserable. I need you to make me happy. You make me happy. I- I know I'm a fuck up. I do and I-I don't deserve you and maybe I never made you happy, but...fuck. I wanna stop loving you. You're such a...ugh..." He grumbled and she could imagine him pacing the hall, tugging at his hair which made her miss him even more.

"John..."

"No. You can't- you don't get to speak. You-you left me and-and that was wrong you know that? Cause-cause if anything I should have been the one leaving. You-you hurt me and yet, you get to play victim? How the fuck is that?!" He slurred out and she sighed trying not to take his words to heart although she knew he deserved to say this to her.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"You're sorry? No-no you're not cause you just, you don't care that, you don't care that I fucking love you and maybe you shouldn't, I don't know. I don't know anything anymore." He mumbled out, "All I know is I'm so sick of feeling this, this aching shit in my chest, this empty feeling I can't, I can't get away cause, cause you did it and you...why don't you love me? I could be good for you. I would be good for you. I wanna be good for you."

"John, where are you?" She asked, trying to focus on getting him to bed rather than what he was saying.

"Outside."

"Can you go back to the bus?" She asked calmly and he scoffed, "Fuck the bus."

"John..."

"Please don't act concerned now, because really it just makes me seem pathetic. I can handle myself. I've been able to my whole life so please spare me."

"How much have you had to drink?"

"Who-who the fuck knows, Everly. I didn't call to talk about fucking alcohol or the weather." He replied harshly and she breathed in deeply.

"John, can you just for once listen to me and go find the guys or something." She stated now worried that he had wondered off alone.

"I listened to you once before too and look where that got me." He grumbled and she ignored the remark knowing he was drunk.

"Fine, I am now in view of Pat. What more do you want? You pretty much have everything already."

"Stop being an asshole. You called me!"

"Yeah and you texted me! I was- I was doing so fucking good and then you had to do that!"

"Oh yeah! Because drinking yourself to death is doing so good!"

"Fuck you!"

"No fuck you John! I told you I loved you and you didn't even bother to call me!"

"On a fucking letter because you couldn't stay and just say it to my fucking face!"

"It isn't like that!"

"You fucking left and didn't even tell me goodbye, Everly! How the fuck should I take that?! You fucking drag me through so much shit and you can't even give me that?! But no, you can text me that you miss me and just keep me fucked up! Now that you are good at!"

"Ugh I hate you!"

"Yeah? Well fucking good! Because I don't know how I even love you, you're such a bitch!"

"Yeah? Well I don't know how I love you either because you're an arrogant, self centered, alcoholic!" She yelled back, she had officially had enough. Sure, she was too blame for a lot of things, but he wasn't as innocent as he apparently thought he was.

"Oh! Wow! Good one!"

"You're right! I'm sure you've heard that one before!"

John scoffed, "And you're just so perfect, huh?"

"No, I am well aware I'm not, but unlike you, I can accept it."

"Ugh! You seriously kill me! You're such a hypocrite!"

"And you're a coward so were even!"

"You know, I'm glad I called. This made things so much easier. Goodbye, Everly."

She didn't dare respond, just hung up the phone and threw it onto the floor with a huff. As angry with him as she was, she couldn't help the tears that immediately began falling from her eyes.

Maybe this was actually the end.