Was It Ever Enough?

Stare.
That was all she was doing at the moment. Lorelei Mae was staring at something in her hand as she stood in front of her bathroom mirror. In her hand was what was known as a pregnancy test. The reason why she was staring, was because of the results.
Positive.
The test was positive.
And two days later, her gynecologist confirmed that. She was pregnant. She was pregnant with John O'Callaghan's child.

"Lorie?" a small voice interrupted her thoughts and she quickly turned to see Jordan, who was leaning against a closed door and giving her a sad smile. “We’ve been in here for the past 15 minutes. I guess it’s time to get back to the living room before someone starts to suspect something” she looked at her like it’d change the decision she’d made. But it couldn’t. No one could, not even Lorelei herself.
And here, it wasn't just pregnancy. There was also something that was destroying her and she couldn't help it. She had a choice. Treatment or a child. She had chosen a child.

Jordan had been her best friend for almost four years and she had been always there for her. Lorelei left her hometown when she was 18, because she wanted to get away from her family. And it wasn't a dysfunctional family or a small town, where she dreamed of a better life. Her parents were rich and they didn't give a shit about her. She got away from them with her dream about love and being good enough for someone.

She found a place to stay in the same apartment complex that Dirk (Jordan’s boyfriend) lived in. And…that’s when she met the love of her life.

He was incredulously tall, which let’s be honest, was important when she was 5’10”. His hair was messy but in a good way, and he looked nothing less than hot… as always. His raspy, sexy voice. His lanky, yet beautiful body. And those tattoos she was obsessed with, especially those on his collarbones. There was no doubt he was the love of her life, everybody knew that. But she was about to break her own heart and what was absolutely killing her - she was going to break his too.
She got closer to a big mirror, looking at herself and then at brunette, who was standing right behind her. Jordan put her arms around her, trying to support her the best she could.

“I’m trying to convince myself that what I’m doing is right” she said quietly, her eyes watering again. She held hand out looking down at the diamond ring on her hand, tilting her head.

“Believe me, darling, it’s not right and you know it” Jordan shook her head disapprovingly as Lorie glared at her. She took a deep breath and tried not to think about how hard and fast her heart was beating.

“It's not just a child, J. It's a fucking cancer and... He doesn't deserve it. I-I can't. So, I’m just going to do it, there’s no turning back now.” she said as she walked out of the door, heading to the living room. She could hear conversations and laughing coming from downstairs that she knew were going to end soon.
She was about to ruin her engagement party.

"Hey, sweetheart..." she heard Jenny's voice. She looked at her as she came up to her, wanting say something.

"Jenny, I'm sorry, but I need to talk to John" she gave her a half smile and left her. She found John with Garrett and Dirk next to patio door. "Can we talk, please?" she asked. He smiled, trying to grab her waist, but she stepped back. He raised his eyebrows and looked at his friends. Then he followed her AS she walked further into the room, nervously watching their guests.

He looked at her just when she took a deep breath. "Lorie?"

"It's over, John" she whispered. He smiled slightly, not understanding what was about to end.

"It's over...what?" he asked, rubbing her arm.

"It's over" she repeat. "We are over" she added and after a moment she dared to look at him. His face fell.

We are over.

These words were screaming in his head. He touched his forehead with his hand, trying to understand.

"What the hell are you talking about" he looked at her angrily. Lorie crossed her arms. "Ok, ok. It's just...stress. And maybe too many guests. Two more hours and we'll be alone in our bedroom, ok?" he took a step forward but she stepped back, shaking her head. She moved, trying to get to the exit as soon as possible. She had already put her suitcase in the trunk of her car. John suddenly grabbed her arm, turning her so he could see her face. "Lorelei Mae" he said through gritted teeth. He used her full name very rarely. She had always been his Lorie or Rory Bug. She hated those silly nicknames, and he knew it.

"I'm breaking up with you" she yelled out. Suddenly, everyone went silent and they were looking at them. "I...I-I can't be with you anymore. I can't pretend anymore, I just can't!" she said and stepped back again as he wanted to grab her hands. John knew that it wasn't another of their arguments. He just knew it by the look in her eyes.

"Awesome! Shit just got real! Should've brought popcorn" Shane laughed a bit too loudly, so Ross smacked him in the arm. Hard. "Dude!" someone slapped him again and Shane realized that it was his mother. He looked down, saying something under his breath.

"What is going on here?!" Jenny yelled out. Lorelei eyes moved to her; she was holding her hand on her chest, looking at her in shock. Then she saw faces of their friends. They were in shock too.
Like every other couple, Lorie and John argued from time to time, sometimes even to this point that they were yelling at each other about ending their relationship, but a few minutes later, they were back to their old selves, just laughing and hugging.
But it was their engagement party and they had been extremely happy recently. Now, everyone was in shock.

"We are done" she said and glanced quickly at Jordan, who was in the crowd. She didn't want anyone to realize that Jordan knew the reason of her leaving. John looked at her, trying to say something, but she didn't let him. "I was with you because of your band. I mean... it was because of you getting more and more famous with every passing day" she didn't know why she said it, that wasn't true, obviously. She just wanted him to let her go.

"What? What?! We've been together for over three years! And now, you're telling me that it all was...fake? Oh, man, no. No. I don't believe you, you... you fucking liar!" he yelled at her. Then he grabbed her and hugged. "Look at me" he demanded. She didn't do it. "You're just having a panic attack, baby. It's just stress. Is it too soon? We can wait. We can talk and we can wait, ok? Hey, Rory Bug, look at me" he asked softly. "I love you... I love you, darlin'" he said twice, just to make sure that she heard it all.

"But... I don't love you" she said. She dared to look into his eyes. They were so sad. It broke her heart. She pulled away and looked at the guests. "I'm sorry" she whispered, quickly heading to the exit.

"No, John....just no" Garret held his arm when John wanted to go and stop her. "Let her go."