Was It Ever Enough?

June 5, 2012

Look who we met last night; John, Pat and Garrett from The Maine! Yay! They talked and smoked in front of some bar. They were so nice to us, we could take a picture. As we were leaving they were like: behave yourself, take care of yourself. That was really sweet of them.
By the way, Garrett was with his girlfriend, they are so cute, aren't they? And hey, does anyone know what happened with Lorelei, John's gf? I haven't seen her for while. I've read gossip-posts they broke up or she left because she got a new job in Europe and any other ideas. I liked them, hope she didn't break his heart. He has no luck with women.

Lorelei looked at two photos that girl posted and read that note about the meeting. She sighed. She was his bad luck.

***

It was Tuesday afternoon. Lorelei after reading some news about the band had decided to go out. That was one of those rarely days when she was feeling good. Pretty good.

Her disease had been progressing. As her doctor said, systemic lupus erythematosus was a challenge, especially since she was pregnant. She was under medical care, always in touch with the doctor. He claimed that the child was pretty fine, considering that Lorelei didn't take proper medication. The safe treatment that she was getting was sufficient protection for her baby. But they stopped being protection for her. Or...they will stop be in a few days.

There were several bruises on her body. At least they were in places that she could hide them. Her skin was changing under the influence of the disease and she just didn't want to look at it. She was suffering from the classic butterfly rash associated with the disease.

And she experienced joint and muscle pain at some time. Actually, not at some time. Always. And her baby bump was growing so fast. She couldn't even dance for her, alone at the apartment.

But today she wanted go out, enjoy the fresh air. And she couldn't resist and not go to the Babies R Us. It was almost the sixth month of her pregnancy. Her only pleasure was massaging her baby bump and thinking about the baby. All she wanted was the baby to be healthy.

Lorie smiled, leaving the store with a pair of lovely, little, white shoes. The first thing she bought for the baby. It was not her job, even though she was pregnant. Jordan just came to her twice a week with a lot of things she bought, though Lorelei asked her to not to do it. She was so excited to be auntie.

"Lorelei?" she heard a male voice and she raised her gaze to the boy standing in front of her. Tall, blonde, handsome boy. Her heart stopped.

Ross O'Callaghan.

"Ross.." she took a deep breath, hiding her baby bump with her hands. But he saw it anyway. It was hard not to notice. "What are you doing here?" her voice was shaking.

"I had a meeting with some old friends" he said, couldn't take eyes off her. "Is that John's baby?"

"No... It's mine. Ok? It's just mine. And I have to go, I have some things to do. It was good to see you" she said, moving. She hoped he won't tell anything to John.

"Tell me" she heard his voice again. "Or... Or I will tell him. And everyone else." he added as she turned around.

***

Thirty minutes later, they were sitting at the table at some cafe. She was looking around, not wanting to look at him. She was afraid of his gaze. She was afraid of his reaction. She told him everything. Now he knew the truth.

"Say something" she finally said, turning her head to him.

"I'm in shock. I don't know what should I say. It sounds so...unreal. And so scary. Do you even know what John feels right now?" he asked. He was mad at her, at the same time felt sorry for her. She cried, telling him why she left. And it broke his heart. She was one of his friends, and she was his brother's girlfriend. He wanted her to be happy too. And she wasn't. She was just in trouble.

"I know. I mean... Jordan tells me about everything, about John and... yeah" she hid her hands behind her hands and started sobbing again. Ross sat next to her and hugged her. "I miss him so much."

"He misses you too. You have no idea. You need to tell him, Lorie. C'mon, I'll take you to him" he stood up. She pulled away. "Lorelei..."

"No, Ross. I can't. I need to stay here. I'm under medical care here and I... I-I just can't. I'm pregnant and it's so fucking hard with this disease. I can't do that to him. And you can't tell him, please" she grabbed his hand, looking at him. "Please."

"I can't. I have to tell him. He deserves it, don't you think?" Ross looked at her, wanting her to change her mind.

"It's too late. It's just too late. I have not enough time. Just promise me, you won't tell him. Promise me, Ross."

He looked at her, wanting to understand. He tried to understand. Actually, he understood, but it hadn't changed his opinion about this whole situation. He wanted to tell him. John was his brother, he deserved to know.

Lorelei looked at him, still sobbing. Ross sighed. She was still holding his hand.

"I promise" he said. She took a deep breath.

"Thank you" Lorelei whispered. She stood up, wanting to hug him, but Ross stepped back.

"It hasn't changed anything. I'm still mad at you. You broke his heart" he said, heading to the exit. He suddenly turned to her. "He was willing to give you everything. And you wanted him. But you still walked away. I don't understand one thing. How someone so intelligent could still be such a damn fool, Lorelei. Even if you have that fucking disease. It was that your love? Wow, only envy" he left her and she covered her face with her hands again.