Was It Ever Enough?

She was standing on the desk, putting the books on the shelves. “O'Callaghan, stop staring at my butt and start being helpful and useful!"

"What? I’ve just unpacked the most of boxes and put your clothes in a walk-in closet, I'd made for you. See? Your boyfriend is the greatest guy in the world" he said, proud of himself. "Oh, and saying clothes, I meant that one thousand pairs of your shoes" he added and Lorelei rolled her eyes.

"I'm a dancer, y'know? Dancers needs shoes. A lot shoes" she looked down at him with a innocent smile and then she cried aloud as he grabbed her. He ran to their bedroom, holding her close to his lanky body.

Their new bed was large and very comfortable. The new bed. The only condition that John had to satisfy to convince her to moving in. And it was that day.

Lorie laughed and squealed as he bit her ear. “Stop! I’m ticklish" she yelled at him and started laughing. He sat on her hips, looking at her with a smile. He loved her laugh. “John, we have so many things to do…"

"It can wait, believe me, Rory Bug" he said, sliding his hands under his T-shirt, which she was wearing. And then he kissed her lips. She placed her hands on his back.

"I hate this silly nickname" she said, smiling slightly. "I can’t believe that I finally have moved in to your place. Just you and me. No one else…" she said and a while later they heard doorbell. She looked at him when someone started knocking. They heard Garrett and Kenny' voices. John rolled his eyes, kissing her quickly and went to open the door.

***

"It is a two-floor apartment?" he heard a woman's voice and turned to her. She smiled at him and he smiled back. Then, John nodded.

"Upstairs is the bedroom, small office and closet. And the bathroom. On this floor is the living room with balcony, large kitchen and another bathroom" he said as she was looking around.

That woman was a real estate agent. He had hired her to sell his apartment. He didn't want to live here any longer. He used to like this place. When Lorelei moved in, he liked it even more. It was full of...life. She took care of every detail at this apartment. But since she left, he hated this place. It was just sad and empty. Strange.

He needed something...new. He needed to leave this place behind and start living again. He needed to find his way back to the start.

***

The room was quiet. The overwhelming and frightening silence. Jordan was standing near to the door, as if she wanted escape. She was just staring at John with tears in her eyes. He was sitting on the couch, hiding his face in his hands and he was breathing heavily.

"Why?" he whispered. He stood up abruptly and walked over to her. He pushed her against the wall, not hard but she let out a cry, being surprised. He gripped her chin so that he could look in her eyes. "Why?!" he hit his other hand on the wall near her head. Jordan jumped in fear.

"Because I promised to her," she said quietly. "John, I'm sorry, but I just promised to her!" she started sobbing.

It was more than her nerves. She was tired of the situation. Especially now, when Lorelei was taken to the hospital. Jordan just came and told him about Lorie's disease. She had to. She needed to do this.

"So take this promise and get out of here!" he shouted. He wanted to pull away, but she grabbed his hand firmly.

"John, please. She is very ill! I just told you. She's in the hospital and even if she didn't admit it, I know she wants to see you. She needs to see you."

"It's been almost three months! It's a little late, don't you think? I do not care."

"But she's dying!" Jordan yelled at him. John was still trying to understand her words, which were screaming in his head, making his head want to explode.

"For me? She's already died. You can tell her that. And get out of here! I don't wanna see you, you...you fucking liar."

Jordan had tried to said something more, especially about the baby, because she hadn't mentioned it yet. But John was mad as hell and he grabbed her by the arm and literally threw her out of the house.

***

He didn't even realize that he had fallen asleep until he heard a knock to the door. Again. He sighed and wanted to ignore it, but then he heard his ringtone. He felt a vibration against his chest and grabbed the phone. He saw his brother's name and he answered.

"Jeez, I've been banging on your door and calling your phone for like, an hour, you know? Open the door, John, and let me in!" he heard Ross' voice. He rolled his eyes.

He wasn't in the mood to be around people. Or to talk to anyone. Even if Ross was his brother.

John was still analyzing the words he had heard that day. They broke his heart. His heart was broken again. He wanted to see her, to find out if she is fine, hug her. But he couldn't. She lied and she left him. She was the one who broke his heart for the first time, and she was still breaking it.

"We need to talk!" Ross said as John opened the door. He put his shirt on and lie down on the couch again. "John! Look at me. We need to talk about Lorelei."

"Yeah, because it's something I've been waiting to do for days, huh?" he didn't even look at him. Ross wanted to hit him. Hard.

"I know you're mad at her and you're pissed off, but I met her, ok?" Ross yelled at him. John finally raised his gaze to his brother. "A few days ago, in LA."

"Has she told you about her disease?" he asked dryly. Ross raised his eyebrows.

"How do you..."

"Jordan was here, this morning" he cut him off. "She told me that Lorelei apparently...is dying" John shrugged and Ross looked at him as if he was stupid.

"And you don't care?"

"I don't even believe in it. It's definitely her another lie!" he shouted, starting walking around the living room.

"John, damn it. It's not. She has that fucking disease. I saw her, she looks so miserable. John, I have no idea where now she exactly is, but she is in LA. Jordan certainly told you. And if not, call her. Now!" Ross handed mu the phone.

"Lorelei is in the hospital" he said quietly. His brother sat next to him.

"What happened? Is she fine? What about the baby?" he asked and John's heart almost stopped. He looked at his younger brother in shock.

"What?"

"The baby. Lorelei is pregnant" Ross said.