Outlines

TRIGGER WARNING:( READ AUTHOR NOTE

JACK'S POV

I'm wearing a black shirt and red skinny jeans for my tour with Vic. As I walk out of my room, Vic is texting someone, giggling like a girl.

"Who ya texting?" I ask, curiosity killing me.

"Oh," he says, sliding the phone into the butt pocket in his jeans. "My boyfriend, Kellin." He says.

"Cool." I smile. Vic smiles when he realizes I'm okay with him being gay. His gaydar obviously needs some work...

"Let's go." Vic says. I start to feel more comfortable with him. He's gay, he cut, and he's hot. I laugh internally. I have Alex, I don't need to worry about Vic.

"So what got you in here?" I ask as Vic shows me the TV room.

"I was cutting and my brother, Mike, walked in and took me to the hospital." He says. He's not afraid of what anyone will think. He's okay with himself and I can tell.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. I met my boyfriend when I changed schools because everyone looked at me funny. He accepted me and fell in love with me before he knew about me. I think that's what really counts."

I nod. Alex fell in love with me after he knew. Is that a sign? I shake it off. He loves me. And that's all that matters.

As the tour continues, Vic and I make more jokes, and he shows me where the laundry room is and where the arts and crafts room is. I didn't see it last night because of my freak out in the cafeteria with Zack.

Zack.

ZACK'S POV

I'm in my room, listening to Dammit by Blink, staring at a razor that's balancing on my knee. My knees are to my chest and next to my hand is a pair of scissors. You just cut the plastic, right? Then you just take out the blades.

But I just keep staring at the silvery metal. It looks so shiny, so inviting. Fuck. I can't do this.

"I know that you're leaving, you must have your reasons."

I can see how people get lost, mesmerized, addicted to the pain. And I haven't even done it yet.

Jack is so amazing, why would he ever want to hurt himself? But I know the answer. Because Alex made him feel worthless when he would fuck around with Lisa, oblivious to Jack's yearning for him.

And Rian could never understand, because he's got Cass.

And apparently, Alex doesn't love Lisa, if he's trying to screw with Jack. But that doesn't mean he really loves Jack either.

Why is it all so confusing?

My brain starts to hurt from all this nonsense.

And I just start crying.

I throw the razor and pair of scissors across the room, hitting my mirror. It cracks and I start sobbing. I can't do anything right. Fuck!

I crawl under my covers, Blink still playing in the background.

I just want Jacky.

I just want Jacky.