These Four Words

Kellin's POV

I admit it was a dickish move to call Vic when Katelynne was into labour but it was true, his voice had something that calmed me down.

I sighed as I watched the little girl who was fast asleep in my arms. I couldn't deny the fact I completely loved her; she was innocent of any mistake I had made in the past I couldn't bring myself to blame her anyway.

I heard someone knocking at the door and I knew it was him. I asked him to meet me here since I couldn't travel and leave Katelynne with the baby by herself, who was in a really deep sleep in the bedroom at the end of the hall. Taking care of a newborn baby wasn't easy for neither of us. I stood up of the rocking chair and placed the baby in her crib, she was truly beautiful. I walked downstairs and opened the door, revealing a very shocked Vic standing awkwardly in the porch.

After he came out of his daze he tried to smile at me but a sideway grin appeared on his face instead. I nodded and stood aside, letting him walk in the house.

After I closed the door, he stood in the middle of the hall and looked around the house. "So… uh. Have a sit." I told him, he turned to look at me and then nodded, walking towards the living room.

He plopped down on the two person couch and stared at me with his big brown eyes. I felt my heart flutter when our stares met. I could tell he was anxious and his eyes reflected nothing but that. I cleared my throat.

"I want you to meet someone." I said and I'm pretty sure he was going to say no, so I hurried upstairs. I walked into Cope's room and took her our of her crib, she stirred a bit in her sleep but didn't wake up.

I walked carefully downstairs, trying not to wake Katelynne up or trip on my own feet. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, he was staring at me from his place on the couch already on his feet.

I couldn't help the grin that broke across my face as I walked towards him, it was something I unconsciously did whenever I was around my baby. "This is Copeland." I said as I uncovered her face, showing her to Vic, whose stare instantly turned to her. His gaze instantly turned tender while his eyes looked at her features, a little smile dancing across his lips and I could feel him staring at me too.

He sighed and I instantly looked up to him. He was staring at his feet while his hands were hidden in the front of his jeans. "You really do love her, right?" He whispered and looked up to meet my eyes. I sighed and nodded. "I can't hate you, you know? I can see the way you stare at her and although I'm not a father, I can tell you only want what's best for her." His voice cracked and I felt the urge to wrap him in my arms, but I knew I couldn't. I shouldn't. "And I know what's best for her is to have a normal family."

"Vic, look-"

"No, Kellin. I understand. It's alright." He tried to smile again, but this time he completely failed. "I guess this is it." He looked down at his feet again. An eerie silence crept in the house, leaving me to stare awkwardly at him, noticing little changes on his person. I could see there were bags under his eyes revealing he had not been sleeping well, and his skin looked lifeless. It didn't have that healthy tan he used to have back then. It really broke me to see him like this and the least I could do was apologize, so I did.

"I've been thinking lately about you and me." I was never the type to apologize because I found it humiliating but I had to do it. "And I hope you know you never left my head. And if I ever let you down… I'm sorry." I muttered, looking as sincere as I could. I wish I would've saved us the pain of this moment, but it had to happen sometime soon and there was nothing I could say to make things better.

"Kellin, don't." He whimpered, his voice cracking and I could tell he was holding back tears by the way he was biting his bottom lip.

"I wish I didn't have to do this, but I have no choice." I looked down at my daughter and I knew I was making the right decision. "But I want you to know that I can't forget the way it used to be and I cherish every moment I spent with you. I really do." I said looking up at him, trying to look into his eyes but his head was held down and I couldn't reach out to him, so I kept talking. "I'm sorry for the man I was and how I treated you. I'm sorry for all the things I've done. I'm sorry for everything I've put you trough, I never meant to hurt you." I could feel my eyes picking with tears and I tried to hold them back, but they refused.

"I should've known." He murmured and looked me, his cheeks soaked with tears that kept pouring out of his eyes, as were my own. "I should've known you would bring nothing but heartbreak." He swallowed, trying to steady his voice. "But I can't bring myself to hate you, even if I want to." He stood up and brushed his sleeve against his cheekbone, taking remaining of tears with it then turned to the door and walked towards it. Grabbing the handle, he hesitantly turned to me. "I guess this is goodbye, then."

I nodded, not trusting my voice as he opened the door and left. This time for good.