These Four Words

Kellin’s POV

“J-Jaime. It’s not what it looks like-” Vic started but the man cut him off.

“Of course it is what it looks like. I might be drunk Vic, but I’m not dumb.” He walked straight to us and glared at me. “Stay away from him.”

I cocked an eyebrow and looked at him. “Don’t you think he’s a little bit old to make decisions on his own?” I retorted, trying to keep my balance but the floor seemed to be moving too much.

“Not when he’s so in love with you.” Jaime answered, stepping closer to my face.

“Stop.” Vic stepped between the two of us, putting a hand on each of our chests. “Stop talking like I’m not here.” Jaime sighed and ignored him.

“Look Kellin, I just don’t want you to hurt him like you did this last time. You have no idea how it was.” He said while looking into my eyes with worry. I opened my mouth but he cut me off. “You weren’t there when he called me after you left. You weren’t there when he fell asleep crying and clutching his phone to his chest afraid he would miss your call. You weren’t there when he refused to leave his bed for days or even eat anything at all. You weren’t there when he would call you and broke down after every single ignored phone call. You weren’t there to look him walk around like a zombie.” He spat, his hands balled into fists by his sides.

I looked at Vic, expecting him to deny every word that left Jaime’s mouth but instead he held his head low, staring at the ground. I looked back at Jaime. “Could you please give us a moment? I promise it won’t take long.”

Hesitantly, he nodded and walked a few feet away from us just in case he had to join in. I closed the space between Vic and I and put my index finger under his chin, forcing him to look up at my eyes.

I looked into his big brown orbs and I saw shame, and a few unshed tears he was trying so hard to hold back.

What have I done? I realized I couldn’t keep hurting him like this. I can’t keep messing with his feelings expecting him to take me back whenever I wanted to. I had promised myself when I left San Diego that day that I would let him go, but it’s easier said than done.

He was the only person who had made me feel alive in a long time, he was there when I was down and I needed someone to pick me up. He let me in when I was lost. “I’m sorry.” I whispered, he looked into my eyes with a confused expression. “I’m sorry but I really need to let you go. I’m only human and I make mistake after mistake so we both know how this is going to end, and I don’t want you to end up hurting more than you already are. I’m sorry I keep leading you on, but I promise I won’t do it anymore. This time I more than mean it.”

Tears were freely falling down our faces while we looked into each other eyes and said our goodbyes silently. His brown eyes shone even more and they were full of sadness but I knew it would go away and they would spark that beautiful shade of happiness one day.

“Don’t cry. I don’t deserve any of those tears, Victor.” I smiled weakly, tracing down my thumb over his cheekbone and removing any tears left there, but it was impossible; he wouldn’t stop crying.

“Please don’t do this.” He whispered, his voice hoarse. I shook my head.

“When I hate myself for letting you go, you can be the one to say ‘I told you so’” I said and smiled bitterly, he bit his bottom lip trying to stop from releasing any sound. “I love you, goodbye.”

I went to walk away from him, but he dug his nails on my arm, afraid if he let go, I would vanish into thin air. Jaime approached stealthily.

"Vic. Let him go, you can't hold on to something that won't work." He whispered in his ear while his hand rested on his shoulder.

"Shut up Jaime, you don't know anything." He screamed to his face, tears never stop pouring from his eyes.

I sighed and looked at him. "Listen to Jaime and let’s leave it like this." My voice cracked by the end but I had to make things clear. "I'm nothing special, I swear you're gonna find someone better than me. I promise."

"I don't want anybody else. I want you." He sobbed.

"I'm sorry." I whispered and sprinted out running down the dark alley, not staying when he called my name.

When I was far away enough I turned my head back and saw him kneeling on the ground while he clutched to Jaime's chest like his life depended on it.