A Lifelong Promise

At risk of wearing his emotions on his sleeve, Paul mustered up the will to knock on Clare's door and stop by to check in on her. He sat in his apartment for a while that night lounging in his sweats in preparation for bed but no matter what he did, he couldn't seem to shake what James had told him earlier in the day. He felt jitters as he stood there in front of her door waiting for her to open it, and he contemplated turning right around and going back to his place, but just as he began to spin on his heel and run back to his apartment he heard the door unlock and Clare push it open.

"Hey," she greeted him with a smile as she slowly opened the door and stuck her head out first followed by her body.

"Hey," he responded as he flashed her a nervous smile.

"What brings you here so late? Everything okay?" Clare's eyes gave away how genuine her question was. "Come on in," she grabbed his hand and innocently pulled him over the threshold as she closed the door behind them.

"Yeah," James swallowed as he nodded his head and began to follow her deeper into the apartment. "Yeah, everything's great." He knew he couldn't just blurt out the thing with her co-worker and truthfully he couldn't figure out why it had him so frazzled to begin with.

"You...sure?" Clare asked with a grin as she turned around to look at him before she sat down on the couch- she was picking up on Paul's slight awkwardness, which was pretty obvious.

"Yeah, no, absolutely. I just, uh, I heard about the visit you got last night at work and I thought I'd check in."

Clare slowly nodded as she picked up the remote and muted the tv. "Yeah, I had a little visitor last night when I walked outside. He must have went off about that today to you, huh."

"Yeah," Paul answered as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Are you...alright?"

"I'm fine, yeah. Nothing happened."

"Well, he seemed pretty broken up about it," Paul quickly added. "When he was going off about it before I couldn't help but wonder how you were. Him...him I don't feel remorse for."

Clare let out a slight laugh and repositioned herself on the couch, putting her one leg underneath her. "That makes two of us I guess. I don't know. Paul, when he looks me in the eye and begs me to forgive him I really think that part of him means it. But then I can't help but see him looking at and touching and kissing different women in different cities and it makes it a lot easier to turn him down. I can't go back to that." She let out a sigh and relaxed her shoulders. "I'm fine, really. Though I appreciate you checking in on me."

"You sure about that? I know 'fine' never means fine. It usually means the exact opposite when it's coming from a lady," he said slyly with a flirtatious smirk calling her out.

"You're a smart guy," she tossed back. "Okay, I picked the wrong word, but I really am okay. He made it easy to get over him fast."

"Well, I'm glad you're getting over him quickly...since I hear you're going out on a date over the weekend," Paul flirted once again, bringing the subject up in a playful capacity while secretly hoping it wasn't what he assumed it was.

Clare blurted out a laugh as her eyes popped open and she innocently brought her hand up to cover her mouth with her fingers- a move that, unbeknownst to her, drove Paul crazy. "No," she said still unable to contain her laughter. "No, no, no. Not a date, with Jason? No way. Not with him."

A look of relief spread over Paul's face and he couldn't fight the smile that pinched at the muscles in his cheeks. "Well that's a strong reaction."

"No, I'm sorry," she said still giggling. "James is an idiot. He heard this guy I work with-Jason- pestering me to go out for drinks and when he backed me in a corner and I had to agree I guess James overheard that and assumed I was going on a date with him. Trust me, that is so not the story." Clare was still amused as she got off the couch and went into the kitchen to get some iced tea for the two of them.

"Poor guy," Paul commented. "Let him down easy then," he teased, raising his voice so she could hear him from his spot on the couch.

"No, I mean, there isn't any need," she continued as she reappeared with a glass in each hand. "It's just not a date, period. He's just trying to be supportive and get me out following my split from James." She placed each glass down on a coaster on the table in front of the couch and settled back in next to Paul.

Paul was privy to knowledge about this particular fellow that Clare wasn't. He knew things this Jason guy had said to James, things he'd done, and Paul was very much aware of the fact that this was in fact a date for him, even if Clare didn't know it. "I don't know Clare," he started as he reached over and grabbed his glass, bringing it to his lips. "I think you might need to be careful. I'm not so sure he'd agree it wasn't."

"No," she insisted again. Paul could see how insecure the thought of another guy hitting on her was making her. "Not...possible. What would he want with a washed up divorcee anyways?"

Paul's eyes widened at her words, at what she actually thought of herself. "You don't really think that do you?"

Clare kind of shrugged as she gave her confession.

"No," he assured her. "You're not some washed up divorcee," he said quickly. "You're so much more than that," he said confidently, baffled that she didn't already know it.

When Clare bashfully turned away from him and took a moment before looking back at him, he realized just how hard it was for her to accept a compliment-- that was something he put sole blame on James for. "Thank you," she said quickly with a silent gulp. "Thats very sweet."

"I don't lie to you Clare. I never have."

"I know that," she said with a nod, more receptive to what he was saying to her. "I know. I guess I'm not really sure I believe it myself. So it's weird coming from someone else. I don't know."

"Just be careful when you go out with this guy. Like I said, I think you and him have different views on what it is."

"I didn't even want to go Paul. He basically twisted my arm until I gave in. I couldn't think of enough excuses."

"You don't want to go?" Paul asked innerly relieved to hear her say that. "So don't go. Tell him something came up. I'll take you out if I need to so you have a legit excuse."

She smiled at him and nudged him with her elbow. "Stop it," she said with a giggle, appreciating how much he looked out for her.

"Hey I'm just trying to help," he said teasing her. "But seriously," he swallowed and his tone got a little more serious. "Don't be forced into going if you don't want to."

Clare let out a sigh and leaned over resting the side of her head-- her right cheek-- on Paul's upper arm right under his shoulder. She turned her face to bury it completely and took a deep breath in before turning her head again and letting it out. "I'll just go. I work with the guy. If I get it over with now he'll stop asking, right?" she asked as she turned towards him and rested her chin on his shoulder.

"It's your call Clare. But if you need me, you know I'll be there."

"Yeah," she said softly as she looked up into his eyes. "I know that."

Clare lifted the arm opposite Paul and brought it across her body where she gently rested it on bottom of his arm, close to his wrist. She gave it a little rub as she continued to speak. "Why don't you have a girl yourself? You're a good guy."

Paul let out a quick laugh and swallowed. He could feel the butterflies flying around inside him from her touching him and his heart racing, warming his entire body. "I haven't had a girlfriend in a while. I've, uh, well, I'm not perfect. I've definitely made my share of mistakes."

"I know you've never been married."

"No," he shook his head. "Lived with, never married."

"Why not?"

"Hm, well. I guess I didn't think it'd work out in the long run."

Clare nodded taking in what he was revealing to her. She didn't say anything, she just let out a little moan and continued to sit there with her head on his shoulder. When she looked down and realized she had her arms wrapped around his arm, she quickly pulled back and tried to nonchalantly reposition herself on the couch.

Paul took a deep breath in and cleared his throat when he felt the warmth from Clare's body against his rip away. He lifted his hand and awkwardly ran it through his hair unsure of what to do next. He was having an increasingly difficult time not making a move on her. It was hard when she was married to and living with his teammate, now that she was separated and living in his building where they spent time alone together, it was torture.

"I should get going," he said as he stood up and pointed towards the direction of the door.

"Yeah," Clare agreed as she popped up and began to walk with him. "Thanks for stopping over."

"My pleasure," he shot back.

When they got to her door they turned and looked at each other for a moment before she threw her arms up and wrapped them around his neck giving him a full-body hug. "Thanks again. Have a good night."

"You too Clare," he whispered with his arms tightly around her with his face in the sweet aroma of her hair and his pelvis pressing against hers. They lingered for a brief second in each others arms before finally pulling away. She looked up at him and batted her eyelashes as she flashed a smile and held the door for him to exit.

When Paul finally got out of there and heard the door close behind him he let out a few deep breaths and ran back to his apartment to either take care of his uncontrollable erections himself, or jump in a cold shower.

Paul laid sprawled out in his bed trying to figure out there in the dark if it was even possible that Clare had feelings for him. He knew it was a long shot for a multitude of reasons. For starters, she was in the midst of divorcing his teammate, his friend. She had been humiliated and brokenhearted by a man who did the exact same thing for a living as he did- changes were she wouldn't ever be willing to give him a shot out of fear that she could never truly trust him. He tossed and turned unable to get this girl out of his head when he heard his doorbell go off.

His heart stopped and his eyes popped open- he certainly wasn't expecting any company and hearing that obnoxious noise while he was laying in his bed startled him. Paul tossed the covers off of him and stepped onto the floor, turning on lights as he made his way to his front door.

When he opened it he saw that he was standing in front of Clare who was looking up at him with a nervous smile. "Hey, I'm really sorry did I wake you?"

"No," he shook his head. He looked like he had been sleeping but he wasn't lying. He tried but had been unsuccessful at it thus far. "What's up?"

"Well," she swallowed before continuing to say whatever she came there to say. "Don't laugh at me. I was getting ready to go to bed and when I was shutting off the lights in the living room I saw a spider. And I can't sleep if there's one in the house. Would you mind coming down and taking care of it for me?"

Paul looked at her for a second and brought his hand up to the back of his neck. "Yeah, sure." He couldn't help letting out a little laugh. "You came up here to ask me that?"

"Yeah," she said with a blush. "I'm really sorry it's so late..."

"It's not a problem," he shook his head and said reassuring her. "I'm coming. Let me grab my keys."

Paul disappeared into his place for a second to grab them and when he came back out he rested his hand on her lower back. "Come on," he prompted her as they walked next to each other and he didn't move his hand the entire way.

Once they got inside her place she led him where she saw the evil creature and after a few minutes of searching he finally saw it out of the corner of his eye. He killed it like a hero slaying a dragon and she thanked with a huge, relieved smile. "Well now I'm all wound up and freaked out that I'll see more. So I don't know if I'll be sleeping anytime soon," she said making it clear she was itchy and paranoid.

Paul found her weakness to be endearing. "Yeah well you scared the crap out of me ringing the doorbell so late so I don't know if I'll be sleeping anytime soon either."

"Sorry about that," she apologized for the fifth time. "I thought about not going to get you but I knew I wouldn't sleep if I didn't."

"Clare, I told you, it's not a big deal. It's just...cute," he said with a crooked smile and a shrug.

He watched as Clare's cheeks turned pink and she tried to contain a grin. "Well since you're here and I'm here and we're both up...do you wanna watch a movie? Something? I won't be doing anything but looking around like a crazy lady and if there's something that needs to be killed you'll be here to do it."

Paul looked at her to see if she was bluffing before coming to the realization that she wasn't. "Yeah," he gave a nod. "Sure."

"Well get comfortable," she said as she motioned to the couch and headed off into the kitchen. "I'll get a snack."

Paul did as he was told and sat down on the couch. He grabbed the remote and turned on the tv trying to do anything to distract himself from where he was and the situation he was in. He had to give himself a silent pep talk so that he wouldn't do anything to cross the line he'd made for himself. There were boundaries he needed to stay within and he was just about done following them. When Clare walked back in the room with her organic cheddar bunnies Paul let out a little laugh. Everything she did charmed him.

"What are we watching?" she asked innocently as she placed the bowl down on the table and sat next to him. She was comfortable around him at this point so touching and sitting close together didn't seem inappropriate. It was an innocent gesture that showed they were themselves around each other and that they didn't see the need to sit four feet apart.

About an hour into the movie Paul had turned on he realized that they had both dozed off. He was spread out on the length of the couch and had his arm around Clare. He flickered his eyes down and saw what he felt- Clare's head was sleeping on his chest with her hand resting against it. He smiled to himself and closed his eyes again, falling back into a happy slumber.